Deep in the forest …
… there she was, the Light Fairy, dressed in white, with her staff and her lights. The children silenced and gathered around her. She came to each of them with fresh baked cookies. They were between the age of two and seven.
My plans for the Samhain Sabbat changed yesterday. The ritual was postponed. The reason was a sweet and relevant invitation from the daycare to one of our neighbors´ daughters. To gather after dinner close to the forest and the creek with lights and all dressed up was the message.
So we went, three children and four grown-ups, to the forest last night. We were perhaps 60 people with lights, Halloween props, walking in silence to the gathering point in the forest, where the Light Fairy waited for us.
We celebrated the light in the darkness. We sang for the children and ourselves. We felt so alive.
A celebration of the light in the middle of darkness is a true treat. The old trick-and-treat custom was fun and fine. People were friendly and it was cold, it was the last night in October, it was something to remember many years from now. It was pure magick.
I think this was an appropriate way to celebrate the night of Samhain. I decided to postpone my ritual for today, for this experience was a deep one, I felt as if my ancestors stood right next to me, as if time stood still, as if everything could happen.
So today, you get to follow me close to the Samhain Sabbat. As I´m writing, I also walk around in my witch´s den to check if everything is as it should be. I have prepared my ritual altars, decorated with all the good stuff, and finished my notes.
In 45 minutes I will call the quarters, the elements and my ancestors. I will re-dedicate myself as a witch, and I will try to reach out for my ancestors, now that the veil between the worlds is thinnest. I will make a healing candle for my husband´s health, and I will cast the runes to get guidance in my life as a witch.
So right now I´m mentally preparing myself for the ritual and the joy of celebrating a new year. As I look back at the old year, I have come so far. And yet, there is a need to release what no longer serves me. My recovery time is over, I´m as good as it gets.
In about twenty minutes I will light the candles and the sage incense, then sit down in my old rocking chair and meditate a few minutes before my husband and the little, wise, old dog join me there. So Mote It Be.
And now I draw the curtains into my witch´s den …
Intentions for the new year
The past year was a long and winding journey. There were many days with side-effects of prescription medicine and the part that medicine cannot control. Slowly, but steady, it became better from the middle of Spring until I became my own director again this fall.
My intentions as a human being are to take good care of myself to be able to give all my love and all my strengths to my family and my friends, to convert my weaknesses to strengths by seeking a positive outcome of everything, and to work further to control my anxiety.
My intentions as a witch for the new year are to follow the rhythms of Nature and celebrate the Sabbats and the New and Full Moons, to set intentions on New Moons and reviewing the results at Full Moons, and to release negativity at every opportunity and to work with the shadows as much as possible.
My intentions as a writer is to work hard to become a better writer, to write something worth reading, and to write my first draft to my novel in nine months in 2020.
It is a mighty list to aspire to. But if we do not allow ourselves the right to dream big, we will never go anywhere from here. To live in the present moment doses not deprive you of future plans. Just keep in mind that “life is what happens when you are busy making other plans,” as John Lennon said.
I take one day at a time, on challenge at a time, one blessing at a time. It is time for revisions and new plans. From now until the end of the calendar year I take a look a memories and experiences from the year gone by.
The memory of my mother is very clear to me today. She passed five years ago, and it still aches, burns and makes me cry. It was six hours of utter dread, and then I felt in in my heart. My mother crossed the rainbow bridge, and there were so many things we should have tried and talked about.
Then, after three years, my father got cancer, two years of hell went by. So it became my time to go to the hospital, a breakdown, anxiety mightier than me took the best of me and made it worse. It has taken me two years to recover.
Today, I accept that my ailments are my companions for the rest of my life. The past year has been a long preparation to stand on my own again. Many tears, countless hours of cognitive therapy, and new medication.
I intend to never be in such a state again, as I was in 2017. I have felt bad often in my life, but never as bad as this. I couldn´t move, I froze inside. And I shook all over my body, had to take a sedative to be able to get to the hospital.
I try to make tangible intentions, in witchcraft and in life. It is half the way to reaching your goals. The rest is hard work. As most things in life are.
Now the candles are snuffed …
… it is quiet and comfortable here behind the keyboard. We just finished celebrating Samhain. I still feel the presence of my ancestors. It is like time stands still for a brief moment, it is as if I can hear them from far away.
… my husband and the little, wise, old dog sleep in my witch´s den. I left a few candles for comfort and inspiration. I feel relaxed, a bit sentimental, and know from within that a new year has begun. The old one was dismissed and released at the end of the ritual with a burning note.
… in an atmosphere of peace and calm, I sit and reflect upon 45 minutes of ritual. The Tarot cards spoke of a need to release what no longer serves me and to trust my abilities. Therefore, to hold onto my passions about writing and witchcraft is a major goal for me in this new year.
The altar is filled with ritual props and tools. Five candles light up the darkening view to the back yard where trees stand bare and naked from the loss of leaves. From my living room, I can see the old rocking chair where I sit during rituals.
They say rain is coming again. And it is getting colder as well. It is the last month in fall, but already it feels like Winter. It is time for reflections and deep shadow work. It is necessary because I´m going to work much with the flawed human version for a long time in my novel.
To debrief will be necessary, for in my writing I plan to try to look into the minds of my characters and to try to write from their perspective. And they will be far from perfect.
My witch´s den needs re-decorating. In 2020, from March 1st until December 31st it will be my number one permanent writing place. To sit and write by hand in my rocking chair or on the laptop on the couch is my destiny for a long period of time.
But the rituals will still be held there. It is my sacred space, and therefore, I also have my creative den where I keep materials and tools for creative uses. I intent to write there in the mornings and in my witch´s den in the afternoons.
The Nordic runes spoke of releasing old attachments, inspirational momentum, and creative energy. I interpret this a subtle sign that I will reach my goal of writing a novel if only I work hard to get there.
I read a couple of beautiful poems for our ancestors and lit candles for them, When I clapped my hands just before closing the circle it felt as if my ancestors got up from their seats and took off to wherever they may roam.
Now the altar is almost stripped of the good stuff. I move slowly for my husband sleeps, and I don´t want to disturb him. I only need to put away the altar cloth, and then it is back to work with this blog and with my writing notes for today.
The pictures of my beautiful old car and my grandfather are yet to be taken to their daily place. I need to feel my ancestors for the remains of the day. I need to express my gratitude to them for leaving me a great inheritance. The ability to write well, it runs deep in my family.
My grandfather always said that if you are granted a gift/talent you owe it to yourself to try it out. I´m sad that he can´t be here to follow me doing exactly that. But he is deep inside my heart and soul, and I can always reach out to him if I need a mental hug.
Next Friday will be about daily mini-rituals when inspiration seems long gone. When the mundane daily life doesn´t leave much energy to work as a witch, it can be difficult to create and plan little daily mini-rituals that are exciting enough to keep om holding onto.
On Monday I will be back with the big why am I trying to write a novel, why is it a life-long dream, and why do I keep on writing, especially on bad days where everything seems out of order. A passion equally strong and inevitable as my deep passion for witchcraft.
And tonight I will celebrate the first day in my new year with the process of creating useful notes for my novel. I´m working to get fit in my fingers so that I will be able to write parts of my novel in hand.
But first I will express my gratitude for having the means and the opportunities to live the life of my dreams. Thank you, dear husband of mine, for making this dream come true. Thank you, dear rainbow family and friends, for all your love and support, especially when I need it the most and deserve it the least.
Thank you also, dear readers and followers, for believing enough in me to keep on reading. It is a privilege to write for you. Do feel free to comment, make suggestions, share your wisdom.
It is icy rain and a cold evening. Winter is coming soon …
It has been one of those days that may stay forever in memory lane, don´t know where, don´t know when, A beautiful Samhain Sabbat, a fantastic morning, afternoon and evening behind the screen. Today, my fingers danced the waltz and the blues, and my muse was kind to me.
She´s sleepy-eyed now, but rocking along with me. as I wrap up the loose ends and wish you a wonderful, creative weekend, dear reader.
May your dreams come true, may the Sun and the Moon always shine on you, may all troubles be released.
As I Will It, So Mote It Be.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 