Month: July 2022

Living with bipolar disorder, mixed episodes; play the music and carry on.

It is rather scary, demanding, and awkwardly fun. It is a mysterious yet magickal involuntary ride on a roller coaster on the loose. And it is a never-ending story of irresistible highs and dreaded lows.

And have you been around in life´s many corners like I have; also, welcome to no less than four anxiety disorders, a touch of the quiet ADHD, and probably something to top that, too.

Not forgetting my osteoarthritis, I have a fair amount of challenges to learn to cope with through my joyride in this wonderful, at times thrilling down the spine, fairy-tale-life of mine.

But nothing in this physical and mental backpack may ever serve as an excuse for not taking my part in life´s everyday chores and social gatherings.

Besides, I was raised to never give up no matter the obstacles on my paths in life´s endless possible destinations.

So, therefore, play the music and carry on.

I do that today, listening to great orchestral music well-suited for writing and movies. The little old, wise dog rests right beside me, waiting for me to take him outside in the garden to do his stuff, especially sniffing in the winds of Summer.

While my husband roams the many cozy spots in his beloved and beautiful garden, the three philosophical cats enjoy their outdoor cat den´s cooling, shady hiding places, and my fingers dance across the keyboard to the beat of the music; I focus solely on trying every day to become the best possible version of me.

By being attentive to aches and pains, whether physical or mental, fighting hard to keep a positive outlook on life, and living like where today my very last on Mother Earth, I´m able to metaphorically short-circuit myself to stay a little longer in my preferred manic mood.

Oh yes, I know by heart and expensive tuition in the ruthless yet fantastic School of Life every prejudice to anything but picture perfect.

It takes a living person with bipolar disorder to create understanding and tolerance and an empathic to make a meaningful conversation.

Well, here I am; for my part, I believe in brutal honesty, a direct attitude, and good manners.

Beginning with my own example, somebody must start to address an issue if the goal is to create meaning between people rather than strife, conflict, and bad feelings.

Yes, there is plenty of possible trouble on the other side of the coin. Yes, it takes its toll on me and my surroundings. And yes, the only way ahead is forward, so play the music and carry on.

Writing openly about it helps me to think more than twice, yet I´m capable of acting in a split second if need be someday.

At the moment, right before the last month of Summer, I´m in and out between moods, with a tendency toward the more quiet side of me.

The upcoming Saturday holds many challenges for me, so I use every piece of leftover energy to meditate and focus on enjoying every moment of our garden party, celebrating the love between my husband and me.

On August 14, 2022, we will have known each other for fourteen years. Tempo fugit, time flies.

And the only thing to obey is to follow along as good as it gets.

One more week, it is time to meet with my counselor and resume my charity work. I look forward to learning and benefiting from like-minded good people, knowing by mind and heart that they get what they experience.

I simply can´t engage in something without using everything I have got at hand to serve the common good.

And still, play the music and carry on.

Awkwardly fun, oh, believe me, the inside, the close-up, and the real-life version of bipolar disorder, you better be prepared for a hell of a ride.

Every day is a new challenge, but most of all, the greatest gift to be allowed.

Today, I have perfect surroundings, and my backing is invaluable. But I have hit rock bottom a couple of times in my life so far, so I´m used to fighting for what I believe and need.

The wants are formed by life experience and are modest but in reach, even on a strict budget.

How and when? If not now, then when (author unknown to me, anyone?)?

No, lots and lots of hard work, patience, and iron will. Also, being willing to sacrifice extravagant and, most times, utterly unnecessary shop-till-you-drop excursions.

Sprinkle that with chance and light at the end of every tunnel.

Once in a lifetime, that´s my life´s vision. And knowing, too, that everything comes full circle at some point in the web of time.

Therefore, I grab a chance when I meet it.

Play the music and carry on; today, I´m celebrating the simple pleasures in life. Being alive on a beautiful Summer Sunday, living the life of my dreams, and fully accepting myself and my many flaws and quirks, is a true gift.

A short break in the garden with my dear husband and our little wise, old dog; that became the best spice in my writing today. Sassy as hell, calm as an angel, and alert as a terrier.

Summing up my life so far, it is a fun and thrilling adventure, always with the best to come.

Forty-three words left to finish what I began a little more than an hour ago; I thank you, dear Universe, dear goddesses and gods, and dear backing.

I can´t wish for more; may my doings inspire others to try the same positive outlook.

May your week be beautiful, fun, and life-enriching, dear readers and followers. May people worldwide come together rather than apart. And may my music and inner manic drive keep supporting my creativity and my mood swings at an absolute minimum.

As we all will it, let it be.

Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.

The last three weeks of professional cycling culminated today. Jonas Vingegaard from Denmark won the Tour de France 2022. Congratulations, let our beautiful red and white flag show how proud every Dane is on this special day.

Last week, I couldn’t write my weekly blog post as usual. Then, somehow, life took its own course, and suddenly there was neither time nor motivation to write last Sunday.

Now, however, it is celebration time, and the music is loud and full of irresistible drum beats and howling bass guitar riffs.

Five hours of hard work on my laptop disappeared in the air as my Word editor decided to play rough and, without warning, deleted my work.

But I will make it through tomorrow, though. So tonight, I prefer to leave work for now and celebrate life at this beautiful Mother Earth spot.

This week has been extremely busy concerning visits to and from dear friends. However, there have been many happy laughing moments, just because we really like each other’s company. At the same time, there is always room for serious matters.

A dear friend became sixty-five years old today. When she returns from her holiday with her husband next week, it will be time to celebrate her with a beautiful gift. She likes angels, so I have bought her an angel pendant with a silver necklace.

To me, she is indeed an angel herself. She is kind, loving, and direct. With her, you never doubt a split second; and you always know that she means well, however frank she might address you.

For another equally true friend, I have begun a creative project about creating yet another beautiful wind chime. I make butterflies from clothespins; they will decorate the wind chime whenever I get a couple of bamboo sticks, pieces of wood, and a couple of meters of steel wire.

Celebration time includes my gratitude pledge for the many blessings in my life. For every new day, a new adventure, fresh impressions, and heartwarming experiences with the rarest kind of people; those who stand up with you, those who always try to be helpful when it is most needed, and those who never let you down, no matter the circumstances.

I will show gratitude daily, as things seem to happen spontaneously every day. Of course, it is more obvious some days, but there is something to be grateful for every day in my current life.

My husband’s hard work in the garden pays off big time right now. Beautiful flowers are everywhere, and last week’s heatwave didn’t do as much damage as we feared it would. His equally hard work keeping this fairy tale life running smoothly deserves praise, too.

For all that, I’m more than grateful.

My own contribution consists of three different strategies for the best possible life living with bipolar disorder, anxiety, and too many pounds on me.

I expose myself to out-of-the-house activities, including places with many people, I lay extra mental pressure on myself to shortcircuit my mood swings, and I have now completed six weeks in the local gym.

So, yes, indeed, it is celebration time. Finally, I can now control my anxiety disorders. I may change slightly toward the depressive mood, but it is much more balanced and slow than usual. And I can see and feel my body’s first little signs of weight loss.

Tomorrow, my former counselor will call me for a weekly talk about life with both physical and mental ailments. My current counselor is on vacation, but we arranged weekly calls. Three weeks without this invaluable help would have been risky business concerning my ongoing mood transformation.

Three times one hour in the local gym await me tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday. Then, it is relaxation and restoration time on Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday. Sunday is dedicated to writing a blog post worth reading by you, dear readers and followers.

And, looking back at the year 2022 so far, I’m pretty sure that it won’t be long before we hear from at least one good person in this little well-integrated group of people that we have been lucky enough to get to know.

With less than 250 words left today, it is rather difficult not to be awe-inspired by all the blessings happening daily in my current life.

For that, I thank you sincerely, dear Universe, dear goddesses and gods, dear family and friends worldwide.

Life is precious, so live it with care, with intent, and as if today was the very last day in your life. Don’t waste time on conflict, worries, and ego.

We may disagree on some issues here, but we have no dreadful arguments. We may live on an even stricter budget than usual, but we have paid our dues and goodbye to debt. And we may have chosen a different approach to life, but we know happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness.

Tomorrow, a new week awaits me, probably busy as always these months, these years. But, I’m happier than ever before in my life so far.

So, yes, it is celebration time. Tonight, we are proud Danes, proud husband and wife, and proud as the people we have become.

It has, at times, been a pretty rough ride. Challenges have been plenty demanding. But, all things considered, the rewards have been the merrier.

For that, I’m forever grateful.

Thank you, dear Universe.

44 words to find meaning in life; life’s purpose is to live it to its fullest and make the most of every situation. Nothing else matters more than the present moment.

Let’s meet in a silent online prayer for world peace; let it be.

May your week be blissful, happy, and filled with moments to cherish later on in life, dear readers and followers. May the world finally find peace within herself. And may my mood swings stay reasonable and easy to handle.

As we all will it, so mote it be.

Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.

First, let me apologize to you, dear readers and followers.

Friday, I weighed myself, and from now on and well into the future, the recipe is exercise and significant changes in diet. However, a realistic time frame is necessary and something serious to contemplate.

It hit me hard this weekend, and I have to admit; frankly, I was absolutely in no good writing mood.

Therefore, I decided to postpone my post until today, after my morning walk, one hour of challenging exercise, and a relaxing bath.

Summer exercises are a constant battle in my mind, as I hate anything connected with gyms and working out.

I know that it is healthy and much needed in my case. But, I for sure don´t exactly love doing it, even though I feel a lot better after an exercise session.

Well, there is only one way forward: to conquer my Self three times a week, rising to five times a week after about six months or so.

Today, I began my second month in the local gym, now with extra weight on the machines. However, I know it will come back to me later today, as I expect to become more than tired after the exercises.

Summer exercises include mental attitude adjustment as well. So, for the next twelve to eighteen months, it is all about the fight to lose weight without the risk of gaining it all again.

Last Sunday, shortly after my blog post filled with positive vibes and Tour de France ecstacy, well, Denmark and the world witnessed a tragic shooting at the big mall Fields in Copenhagen. Three innocent people were brutally killed, and several others were seriously injured.

A mentally ill young man, only twenty-two years old, went crazy shortly after he tried to call the psychiatric system for help. Unfortunately, no one answered the phone at that moment.

Our psychiatric system has been left outside in the rain for many decades now, and all of a sudden, all the responsible politicians are so busy promising the Moon and the stars.

Where have they been, however, for so many years??? It is nothing but major mismanagement of an area in a society where a country indeed will be known for the way it treats disadvantaged citizens.

It is a big shame, and at the social house where I work voluntarily, we will be the first to find out how cutdowns and mismanagement hurt the citizens in their often difficult everyday.

The sad incident stopped a folk festival and made it clear that there really is something rotten in the state of Denmark, as Shakespeare wrote so many years ago.

There will soon be an election for parliament, but already, I don´t know who to vote for. I would not even buy a used car from any of those in parliament today, so it will be a tough choice when election day shows up.

On the more positive front, there is busy here as always this year. Tuesday, it is ladies´ luncheon time again. Wednesday is my last visit to the social house before the Summer holidays; Thursday is my birthday with morning coffee for my closest friends.

Friday throughout the weekend, however, it is time to just relax and enjoy some of my many creative projects, which I´m planning in a flexible list, so that there is always something to do, no matter my mood on any given day.

Concerning my mood, yes, I can feel a slight change to the quieter side. However, it is way too soon, as we have many more plans for this Summer, and I´m definitely not ready to change moods right now.

Therefore, I short-circuit myself on purpose, meaning that I trigger a mini-mania that can keep the depression at bay for a few more weeks, preferably into the last weeks of August.

The price I pay is that I´m drained, especially mentally. But nevertheless, I get up happy every morning, as I have chosen to live each day as were it my last on Mother Earth.

Today´s picture is from my husband´s beautiful garden, the yard, to be more specific. Flowers are thriving everywhere, and for the next couple of weeks, I will go out daily on a photo safari to document all his hard work there.

Later this morning, it is time for some serious work with my digital Book of Shadows. The prioritized list of creative projects and necessary chores will have to wait for the afternoon to be processed.

My Summer exercises were challenging for me this morning, and a power nap later will be much appreciated.

When this is written, it is outside in the garden with the little wise old dog, who on July 3 became twelve years old. Where have all the years gone, my sweet little friend for life???

He waits patiently for me to finish writing so he can come out to enjoy a beautiful Summer morning on the deck chair in the yard.

And, with only eighty words left to write, that will be soon.

I feel both energized and tired to the bone, my body thrumming with the aftermath of today´s Summer exercises.

I will try to work out a mental plan to learn to love my exercises. They will, after all, be a significant part of my life for an extended period.

And, I know that I will be happy and much more comfortable losing weight and becoming more toned.

May your week be peaceful, happy, and filled with those moments you later cherish, dear readers and followers. May the people of this world soon begin working together rather than pushing for strife and meaningless, crazy acts of violence.

And may my mood swings stabilize as soon as possible. I don´t have time for anything but a positive outlook on life in general, particularly on my annoying friends, anxiety, and bipolar disorder.

As we all will it, so mote it be.

Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.

… the absence of negativity in the form of trouble stemming from the outside world. Today, the weather is beautiful Danish Summer at its absolute best performance.

The third stage of the Tour de France 2022 on TV, in the southern part of Denmark, with a Dane leading the race as I write this weekly post for you, dear readers and followers.

May the good spirits from the equally beautiful behavior of the Danish bicycle fans inspire people worldwide today and forever.

Happiness is …

… the presence of a positive outlook on life in general, a humble approach toward life´s many and diverse challenges, and an iron will behind all the hard work in the settings of my life.

My eighty-four-year-old father tried bicycle racing as a young man, so I know by heart that he is in awe over the number of happy and smiling people who greet the riders. I am, too.

It´s not the sport itself, not the excellent quality pictures, and not the proud feeling of being a Dane myself right now, pretty close to the real thing, less than app. 100 kph/62.2 mph from where I live.

It is a public folk festival; people behave more than well. And they are doing so on the third day in a row.

It may well be a bicycle race only. But right now, in this writing moment in a free country, it is a fine symbol of something good, something positive, and something that brings people together instead of apart.

Happiness is …

… my simple yet complicated life here in the southern parts of my country, Denmark. I have seen so many flags and banners on the TV screen. Still, it is nice and quiet at my spot of Paradise on Mother Earth.

For the much that I already have, I am more than grateful.

Wednesday, I meet another person with bipolar like me. Now, I understand my loved ones, as it ain´t always a bed of roses dealing with people like us.

But it was life-enriching, too.

The week has been busy and tough on my body, mind, and soul. My physical exercises make me relaxed and very tired. My morning walks and talks teach me about many new aspects of life as a Crone. And my creative issues have been the work with my digital Book of Shadows.

My creative den needs a thorough clean-up, and my witch´s den is dusty and needs a good cleaning. But the weather gods suggest a change next week, so, maybe, this week, my many plans may very well come to fulfillment.

The Summer heat is terrific, but with my hot flashes due to my transition in the realms of menopause, last week didn´t yield a witchcraft ritual as planned.

And next week, there is more than enough on my plate already. But in the week of my birthday, there may be spare time to go ahead and perform a relevant and beautiful ritual about love and happiness.

Happiness is …

… the many opportunities in life with my current living conditions on a strict budget. I don´t need to buy to become creative with what I already have. But, if I make a buy, it is either a necessity or a small supplement to my current stock.

But, as I have to admit, my mood swings are increasing. Therefore, I have more plans than the personal resources to execute.

It doesn´t matter, however, as I consciously choose to live in the present moment and enjoy each day at my own pace.

Especially in so odd years as the ones we experience now, I believe it is imperative to seek happiness in the little moments, the little things, and the little life-changing split seconds where life unfolds, raw and direct.

And here I am; I´m happy and content, my health is fair, my inner peace is restored, and I try to find new ways to be kind toward other people.

Still, with a Dane still leading the third stage of the Tour de France in Denmark, I´m proud to be Danish for the first time in a long time.

I know the other riders will probably catch him soon again, but at least it is fun as long as it lasts.

Happiness is …

… listening to old-school music, trying to write in tune. Today, it is happy music, a mixture of genres and eras, and, of course, as loud as possible without damaging my ears too much.

I prefer listening to loud music when writing here, on social media, or on my novel project. I now have app. sixty-five pages of material strong enough to be edited for the final draft sometime next year.

But there is yet a long path to walk before I have something like a complete first draft. At the end of Summer, it is time to dig in and write all my thoughts, ideas, and snippets of dialogue that I have contemplated for more than two years.

Happiness is …

… being alive, being released from the past day-by-day, and being able to express my opinions without censorship from society.

Today, my thoughts go to the Ukrainian people, who right now fight for their right to exist and live in peace. May they achieve those goals soon.

Today, I greet my loved ones near and far away with my never-ending love, respect, and friendship.

And today, I´m grateful and happy for my life right here, right now. So now, it is time for a cup of coffee and rest.

May your week be happy and beautiful, dear readers and followers.

May the spirit of my Danish countrymen celebrating the Tour out in the land inspire all the peoples of this one world.

And may my mood swings stabilize and wait until the end of Summer, preferably well into the Fall.

As we all will it, dear Universe, so mote it be.

Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.