Living with bipolar disorder, mixed episodes; play the music and carry on.
It is rather scary, demanding, and awkwardly fun. It is a mysterious yet magickal involuntary ride on a roller coaster on the loose. And it is a never-ending story of irresistible highs and dreaded lows.
And have you been around in life´s many corners like I have; also, welcome to no less than four anxiety disorders, a touch of the quiet ADHD, and probably something to top that, too.
Not forgetting my osteoarthritis, I have a fair amount of challenges to learn to cope with through my joyride in this wonderful, at times thrilling down the spine, fairy-tale-life of mine.
But nothing in this physical and mental backpack may ever serve as an excuse for not taking my part in life´s everyday chores and social gatherings.
Besides, I was raised to never give up no matter the obstacles on my paths in life´s endless possible destinations.
So, therefore, play the music and carry on.
I do that today, listening to great orchestral music well-suited for writing and movies. The little old, wise dog rests right beside me, waiting for me to take him outside in the garden to do his stuff, especially sniffing in the winds of Summer.
While my husband roams the many cozy spots in his beloved and beautiful garden, the three philosophical cats enjoy their outdoor cat den´s cooling, shady hiding places, and my fingers dance across the keyboard to the beat of the music; I focus solely on trying every day to become the best possible version of me.
By being attentive to aches and pains, whether physical or mental, fighting hard to keep a positive outlook on life, and living like where today my very last on Mother Earth, I´m able to metaphorically short-circuit myself to stay a little longer in my preferred manic mood.
Oh yes, I know by heart and expensive tuition in the ruthless yet fantastic School of Life every prejudice to anything but picture perfect.
It takes a living person with bipolar disorder to create understanding and tolerance and an empathic to make a meaningful conversation.
Well, here I am; for my part, I believe in brutal honesty, a direct attitude, and good manners.
Beginning with my own example, somebody must start to address an issue if the goal is to create meaning between people rather than strife, conflict, and bad feelings.
Yes, there is plenty of possible trouble on the other side of the coin. Yes, it takes its toll on me and my surroundings. And yes, the only way ahead is forward, so play the music and carry on.
Writing openly about it helps me to think more than twice, yet I´m capable of acting in a split second if need be someday.
At the moment, right before the last month of Summer, I´m in and out between moods, with a tendency toward the more quiet side of me.
The upcoming Saturday holds many challenges for me, so I use every piece of leftover energy to meditate and focus on enjoying every moment of our garden party, celebrating the love between my husband and me.
On August 14, 2022, we will have known each other for fourteen years. Tempo fugit, time flies.
And the only thing to obey is to follow along as good as it gets.
One more week, it is time to meet with my counselor and resume my charity work. I look forward to learning and benefiting from like-minded good people, knowing by mind and heart that they get what they experience.
I simply can´t engage in something without using everything I have got at hand to serve the common good.
And still, play the music and carry on.
Awkwardly fun, oh, believe me, the inside, the close-up, and the real-life version of bipolar disorder, you better be prepared for a hell of a ride.
Every day is a new challenge, but most of all, the greatest gift to be allowed.
Today, I have perfect surroundings, and my backing is invaluable. But I have hit rock bottom a couple of times in my life so far, so I´m used to fighting for what I believe and need.
The wants are formed by life experience and are modest but in reach, even on a strict budget.
How and when? If not now, then when (author unknown to me, anyone?)?
No, lots and lots of hard work, patience, and iron will. Also, being willing to sacrifice extravagant and, most times, utterly unnecessary shop-till-you-drop excursions.
Sprinkle that with chance and light at the end of every tunnel.
Once in a lifetime, that´s my life´s vision. And knowing, too, that everything comes full circle at some point in the web of time.
Therefore, I grab a chance when I meet it.
Play the music and carry on; today, I´m celebrating the simple pleasures in life. Being alive on a beautiful Summer Sunday, living the life of my dreams, and fully accepting myself and my many flaws and quirks, is a true gift.
A short break in the garden with my dear husband and our little wise, old dog; that became the best spice in my writing today. Sassy as hell, calm as an angel, and alert as a terrier.
Summing up my life so far, it is a fun and thrilling adventure, always with the best to come.
Forty-three words left to finish what I began a little more than an hour ago; I thank you, dear Universe, dear goddesses and gods, and dear backing.
I can´t wish for more; may my doings inspire others to try the same positive outlook.
May your week be beautiful, fun, and life-enriching, dear readers and followers. May people worldwide come together rather than apart. And may my music and inner manic drive keep supporting my creativity and my mood swings at an absolute minimum.
As we all will it, let it be.
Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.