Writing myself free

Today, the weather gods send mixed signals. The Sun shines; however, the wind is icy, piercing cold, and occasional rain showers make indoor activity preferable.

So, I keep on trucking, working to the best of my abilities. I still have a sizeable amount of work with my notes and about 25 long articles; before focusing on the writing process.

But I have 849 good words that I can’t let go of. They sound natural, they contain the meaning I want to convey, and they feel right.

I knew that there would be days with less activity or none at all. A year is a long enough time to get my writing process on the right track.

Today, I feel good and am capable of writing myself free from any worries that may cloud my mind from time to time.

So I shift between writing here and working with my growing amount of necessary research notes. The more that I can rely on them during the writing process, the less I have to check them later.

My husband asked me to write about love, our life, and our many blessings. So that I will do.

He is my big and only true love in my life. He is a good husband, one of those rare ones that you gladly follow worldwide if necessary. Our life is blissful due to a healthy economy and a common idea of making a good life.

We live in a big, beautiful, old house. We have practically everything we need. And we share our lives with a sweet, little, old dog and three philosophical cats.

We may not have that many friends anymore. We may have to live with a strict budget. And we may be different from the current norms in society.

But we share a beautiful life which we work hard for every day. My husband has granted me the possibility to sit and write a couple of years. He takes the most brutal toll. He deserves credit. He’s my great inspiration, for he has taught me that it is possible to change.

If you only dare to look yourself in the mirror and actually do something about the things you don’t like.

And change is something that we are pretty used to here. We had all odds against us in the first eight years of our life together. We have both lived in the fast lane for many years, and it takes time, energy, and iron will to cope with the consequences in later life.

With lots of hard work, patience, and a common goal of creating the best possible place for us, we have managed just that. On April 27, 2021, we will have lived here for five years. And we never look back in regret. On the contrary, we have discovered what happiness is to us.

Happiness is economic safety in the form of a small but effective saving, creative accommodation in the house and outside in the garden, and lots of peace and quiet.

Inner peace is the absence of self-created problems. Good health is also essential. And, last, but definitely not least, kindness is preferable to living on a big lie.

Today, the news can’t disturb my positive outlook on life. I listen to old school rock, with thundering drums and irresistible bass guitar riffs. The volume is soaring high in my earplugs; yes, I know, I should be careful. However, today I need to listen to loud music.

And my husband rest with a philosophical cat and the little, old, wise dog. I have two of the cats close by, and I need coffee …

… Sorry, but without coffee, the writing just feels wrong, like something is missing.

We have a good life here on our little spot of Paradise on Mother Earth.

Writing myself free is not a difficult task; however, creative writing is certainly not for sissies. It takes countless hours of dedicated hard work. A little talent won’t hurt either, and then there is the issue of inspiration.

My muse is not deserting me, she is just a kiss away. But I won’t write bullshit, pardon my French, so I take it easy and write whenever I feel the need for that.

I know myself well enough to know that I will begin the longer writing sessions sooner or later.

I write myself free when I need to divert myself from the craziness of a so-called modern world. I write myself free when I want to reward myself for coping with my physical ailments and mental disorders. And I write myself free when something unexpected happens.

Today, I write early because I want to publish before I talk with my 83-year old father. I call him three times a week, and sometimes he calls to tell me about something special in his life. Like yesterday, where he told me he had got home care. Now, he gets help with the cleaning and bathing.

In a moment, I will have written 1,000 words within two hours. So, I know that I’m capable of writing my three novels of 100,000 words each.

Therefore, there is absolutely no need for any concern, even though I haven’t written so much yet. I still have the most of a full year to accomplish my goals.

Now, I will return to my many notes. Today’s task is to enjoy a long, warm bath after my phone call to my father. And I plan to watch something about my locations for my novels. Other than that, it is only about living a simple, yet complicated life.

So, dear Universe, roll the dice and behave today. There is no need for trouble of any kind.

May your weekend be uplifting, joyful, and happy, dear readers and followers. May humankind come to its senses and begin to cooperate rather than fight and scorn. And may happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness be the mantras of tomorrow.

So it is.

Picture of Marna Buys from Pixabay 

Writing my heart out

Yesterday, I embarked om my writing journey that hopefully will bring both personal insight and the first draft for my trilogy. It went well, very well indeed, as I managed to write three times as much as I had hoped for. And I also was able to maintain the work with my notes that will continue at least a couple of months more.

Writing my heart out has always been my preferred channel of communication. It gives me time to think more than twice, it releases all sorts of negativity, and it makes me happy to have the skills to do it. So, it is with joy and enthusiasm that I on day two of my writing year sit here behind the keyboard.

It´s already Friday again. I simply don´t grasp the speed of time in this era of a full-blown pandemic with still more people behaving star-crazy for every day. Yesterday, I wrote in pain, since my lower and central back has made it crystal clear to me that it hurts like hell and back.

Today, I´m more prepared, but I had to get an extra long early afternoon nap, nevertheless. My sleep pattern is a bit topsy these days due to my liftoff as a writer. I actually sat down in my new gamer chair and wrote my heart out in 833 words. Today, my back is showing its worst potential, so please forgive me. And today, my left hand is funny, too.

But it may hurt, I may have to turn to pain killers for the night, and my left hand, my writing hand, may need a longer rest than I have the time to. I will still write, however, only on the laptop. It is a wonderful feeling of freedom to begin writing my dream for a lifetime.

I´m painting with words rather than actual paint, but I do paint from time to time, as I´m a creative kind of person who besides writing and being a witch also have a million interests to care for. And yes, I like what I see in front of me when writing my novels.

When I finish this blog post, there is still a lot of work to do. I know that it will be one of those late nights where pain can be pain as much as it likes to be. But I have made my plans, and I have the free option to write whenever I want to or need to.

Writing my heart out is not an easy task at all. It is about dedication, hard work, and countless hours of thinking, writing, and rewriting. It is so different from everything else I know about writing in general. It is pure instinct, stubbornness, and the gut feeling.

But I simply love it, and I know that the journey will be long, tough, and treacherous. One thing is to like your own material. To make others like it too, there is a very, very long path to walk. I humbly acknowledge the challenge given in wanting to write three novels in a year.

Two pages raw and ready for scrutiny later on. I won´t look back from now on. The only way is forward, no matter how steep a mountain I need to pass during my first journey as a declared writer. My plans support the days with less or no performance at all.

The key for me is to remain focused on writing approximately 15-25 chapters to begin with. To keep on writing, especially on the days where doubt creeps in on me, and where my muse has let me down. With so much material, I believe that I can go back and change if necessary. It will be enough to keep going on the bad days.

Not that today is a bad day as such. The Sun has been shining all day, but it was too chilly for me and the little wise, old dog. So we accepted the short roundabouts in the back garden. Now, he rests peacefully in his basket close to my desk.

Writing my heart out, yes that´s what I do as a writer. As a witch, I cast spells, read the Tarot, and try to reconnect with Mother Nature. As a human being, I live in the present moment, I´m happy and content, and working with my creative talents makes everything so much easier to cope with.

I have reduced my news time to the least possible to avoid being too exposed to bad news, fake news, and scary news. I know what I need to know, and I follow what is necessary in a changed world. Mother Nature is angry with us humans, and I don´t blame her one second.

But I won´t let negativity set any kind of agenda here at our little spot of Paradise on Earth. And before I write anymore tonight, I want to work a bit with a little creative project that needs a makeover. May you get a blessed and blissful weekend, dear readers and followers. As we will it, so mote it be.

Billede af Free-Photos fra Pixabay 

Everyday Magick

As a witch, as a Crone, and as a high priestess in my own right, I prefer the everyday magick to highly stylized and often difficult long rituals. Because it simply is too much to remember to do and especially say.

Because it is in the everyday that we humans may experience true magick, if only we let go of meaningless demands of being oh so perfect that nothing will be enough anyway, no matter what we do or not.

And therefore, I may not prepare neither many nor too elaborate rituals. But I see true magick in my life, and I need to say that my firm belief is that it is in the everyday that life truly happens.

I demand, however, that my rituals are concise, beautiful, and worth working with and participating in. To do that I have my very own witch´s den with accessories, gear, and all the fun stuff too.

But the year 2020 put everything, including magick, in an extreme clear perspective. We humans are vulnerable, too careless, and by no means the top animal that keeps everybody and anything else in check.

Watching wild animals literally fight every inch for their survival tell me that we humans have long forgotten that we in reality are animals without understanding of neither our own our others´ true nature.

We have succeeded in conquering the world, but we risk to fail so markedly when it comes to sensible behavior and reaction to Mother Nature. She really doesn´t care about the human desire for playing master of the Universe.

Life is fragile, so to me it is all about living life to its absolutely fullest, every day, and in the present moment. And whatever we like it or not, the everyday is where we find most of our days on Planet Earth.

Being here at all is a gift that we should take more into consideration than chasing our own tails or the ritual dancing around the golden calf. The newest gadget can easily wait until the worst crazy scenery is way over.

The lifestyle of a so-called modern society, well, look at the number of prescriptions for anti-depressive medicine. It is really worth being sick for? Is money really that important? Is life not richer than that?

Yes it is, And yes, we can change our lifestyles. It happens only when we take the first steps ourselves, but I believe it is possible, even with a tight economy on a strict budget.

So, everyday magick is the theme for today´s post. I´m warming up my fingers so that I can continue my studies of the settings for my novels. On Thursday next week, everything will be different, though.

That day, April 1st 2021, I embark on the next stage of my journey as a writer. Then, I will have cleaned all my dens, there will be lit candles and white sage incense for good luck and setting of a pleasant atmosphere.

And my new everyday magick ritual will be to sit there between four to six hours daily for the next year forward. There will be a couple of months with concurrent studies, because I know that I can´t meet my deadline regarding research.

One of my favorite everyday rituals is to make sure that everything´s ready for me, no matter which den I might prefer any given day. And tomorrow will be no change from that course.

I will spend a few hours cleaning my witch´s den and my creative room. As for my daily writing desk, my husband has already helped me create a both beautiful and practical room for my writing adventures, as you can see below.

Today, it´s time to celebrate a little girl turning five years old. When we first met her, she was a tiny toddler, now she is becoming a big girl, so soon, so fast, and so hastily, as were magick on the loose.

Everyday magick to me is both life unfolding for better or for worse and the little extras that make up the beautiful, thoughtful, and life-enriching experiences with which the everyday becomes easier to handle.

And, of course, the magick from my witchcraft practice with visible trailts all around in my home, on tables and walls, at every corner, and in every room. Magick is everywhere with me in the everyday, and it always will be so.

It can be as simple as a lit candle and a silent prayer of gratitude. But from time to time, I will use whatever I have to create a magick atmosphere around me, which brings forth happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness.

After 2020, I have realized that I don´t need spend my time working my way through a show-off display, but that magick instead comes from the little things that make a positive difference in the everyday, of which most days occur.

May you embrace life with open hearts, dear readers and followers. May your life dreams come to reality, and may you experience happiness and joy in whatever adventure you are embarking on.

So it is.

Picture of S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay 

Welcome, Spring Equinox

The day before a ritual is my preferred day of planning it. Tomorrow, my husband and I celebrate the Ostara Sabbath in The Wheel of the Year. Turning Spring, the weather behaves, however icy, piercing cold it feels.

The Sun shows its power to become the strongest force of Nature by bathing us in pure joy and warmth. But the harsh, so cool wind reminds us that Spring is a balance between cold and warm aspects of life and death.

It is about letting go of what no longer serves us and about caring for the new, now sprouting seeds and bulbs in the gardens of our hands and minds. It is a time to renew, to refresh, and to revitalize our lives. And it is to be a simple, yet beautiful ritual.

I´m warming up in here today, for my hands ache from the arthritis, I needed a longer creative break from the preparation efforts for my novels, and my mind is too thoughtful to work with magick just yet.

Therefore, without further notice, welcome, Spring Equinox.

It is with equal parts of pure happiness and humbleness that I present you, dear readers and followers, for the best possible version of me. I have succeeded in conquering myself once again. My bipolar friend bow its head in silent respct.

The price, for oh yes, it has it hard fought price, and it is an almost overwhelming feeling of being so, so tired, to the bone and back. But it is worth the trouble, for my mood has changed for the faster, the more creative, and the feel-good lane.

Today, I don´t worry about being bipolar at all. I know my limitations very well indeed, my medication and my therapy run smoothly, and I have a great counselor who also keeps me up to date with how to become my own creative director.

But I also know by now that I´m more than capable to keep myself under strict control, to stop up and breathe deeply from time to time, and to let go and relax as often as necessary.

And I´m so happy, so proud, and so content that my creative muse has returned from a severe winter mandatory stay in Limboland. I have waited long for the new project to take off.

In just 12 days from now, I embark on an unknown journey, the journey of my lifetime. April 1, 2021, will be the first day I will write my novels, this time for real and for good.

I have lots of work yet to conquer alongside the writing of my first novel. I need material for a trilogy, and I can only focus on one novel at a time, although I know that I can´t help but work on all three at once.

My main focus right now is to finish my notes for the first novel, so that I won´t have to lock up any new research but can concentrate one hundred percent on the task of writing a first draft worth dealing with later as well.

And the Spring Equinox comes as a bliss today. I believe that I need a longer break from my preparations, especially on a thoughtful day, with racing thoughts and a the mix of being physically tired but mentally refreshed.

And then life just happened…

I had to take pain killers before I could finish this post. My lower back hurt like going through hell and back. So I apologize for being somewhat late tonight, actually it is Ostara day now.

I slept for a couple of hours, got up, finished my ritual planning. And now I sit here once again, ready to fight back every inch of the way. So, welcome Spring Equinox. In a few hours from now, our ritual will take place in my witch´s den.

I´m much better now, thank you dear Universe. Here, at my favorite hour of the night, everything is quiet around me, both the little wise, old dog and two of the philosophical cats are sound asleep. My husband and cat number three sleep upstairs.

It is a time for reflection, for some serious hard work again, and for recovery from pain killers that I only use out of pure necessity. At least, I´m able to sit fairly comfortable now, which definitely was not an opportunity a couple of hours ago.

Allow me to count my blessings tonight and to wish for the world to come to its senses and cooperate for once. Yesterday, my father told me he will get his first shot of vaccine on Monday. Not the AstraZeneca, it is still on hold in Denmark due to recent problems.

I know now that the mood has changed for the better. It is a tough ride to deal with a bipolar the way I do. And to do it, it is necessary to be in good balance with a combination of correct individual medication, therapy, and counseling.

But I just know that everything will be fine for a longer period of time again. I had to do something about my depressive side. My novel needs me to be mentally fit for writing between four to six hours a day for a whole year in just 11 days from now.

My creative writing den has been redecorated this week. A good and thorough clean-up, fresh paint on the walls, Spring tulips in a vase, then I´m getting ready for take-off soon. And a long awaited ritual about to begin in a few hours.

Today´s picture is symbolic of my constant inner battle with my bipolar disorder. This time I won the round, however rough the ride may be. The price is being tired for about a week in a row.

But to regain my feeling of personal freedom, no fight is too tough to deal with. I prefer being tired for a couple of days to being depressed and in the low mood. So, welcome Spring Equinox, welcome to the Goddess of Spring, Ostara.

May your weekend be filled with bliss, dear readers and followers. Blessed be.

Picture of klimkin from Pixabay 

New opportunities

Good evening, dear readers and followers. It has been a hectic week, strange, yet oh so familiar. I´m split between my range of moods from the deepest well in the world to the soaring high flight beneath the Sun.

It´s a slippery lane, the fast one, when the other part of me tries to tear the world apart in a frenzy of apathy, desperation, and sadness. It´s tough, but a necessary transformation that will happen, whatever attitude I may have.

But everything´s just fine, for I know that I´m able to conquer myself again and again and again. I know that also this moment of standstill will pass. I know that with great care it is possible to maintain a life full of quality rather than quantity.

Yesterday, I got some great and inspiring news from my counselor. She has nominated me for an open position in the county. It is not a full-time job, for that is no longer a realistic way for me.

It is called peer-worker, a kind of social work where I will go to e.g. a ward in the psychiatric hospital, a drop-in center with social activities for people with bipolar disorder and other mental disorders, or to give talks to peers.

The offer is being trimmed to suit my needs, as I will need a driver and somebody to follow me along on the way. I will also receive real money, and as an early retired, I may earn a small sum concurrently with my pension.

She told me that she find me easy to talk with, that I know my way with words, and that it also could benefit me personally to work a little bit with something that I´m already used to have to deal with in the everyday.

I said that I was interested but that it may not interfere with my pension and that it must be flexible enough for me to have a bad day from time to time, as I can´t help but take one day at a time.

I think it is an interesting, inspiring, and fun challenge to try out. So now I wait for more details, and of course I will tell you about it too. It raised my spirits, it helped me cross over to the other side of being born with the bipolar disorder.

I´m physically exhausted, for I tend to strain my muscles and joints whenever I feel low and depressed. It´s when I fight to get back to the high-spirited mood. I need to; it is here where my creative energy flow is best.

So there will probably be another couple of days to recover and to think about new possibilities. It has to fit in with my writer´s aspirations as well as practically everything else.

This weekend, I really need to look into my love for witchcraft. It has been a while since I have had both the time and the appropriate energy to work with it. As you know, I never work with magick when I´m out of touch with myself.

I will create two rituals; one for the Sabbath of Ostara/The Spring Equinox; and another with the theme of self-care and self-love. Both are important to me, for I want to attune myself to the rhythms of Nature and to be good to me.

That I will enjoy preparing on Sunday. Tomorrow, it is the continued preparations for my novel-writing process soon to begin. And tonight, it is good times with family and a close friend.

Yesterday was terrible due to the inevitable fact that I spend most of the day and evening dancing the jitterbug inside and hopping and dancing on the outside at the same time. So the whole house jumped with me.

But today, everything, except an enormous feeling of being over-tired, is excellent. My mood is slowly but surely shifting to the best possible version of me. And I need that for my writing process and my life in general.

My sweet husband is busy painting the house inside. After almost 5 years, things need to change slightly, and freshly painted walls are always positive to begin the Spring season.

He is already busy in the garden, but the weather has changed back to a winterly chill, icy cold rain mixed with the occasional sleet and even hail. So, you Weather Gods and Goddesses, come on now, bring fair weather, please.

With these words, I send you my warmest thoughts and online hugs, dear readers and followers. May this weekend be inspiring, creative, and reflecting, may the world pull itself together, and may kindness prevail.

So Mote It Be. Blessed Be.

Picture of Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

Changing lanes

I have been a fighter for as long as I can remember. I´m capable of fighting for my well-being and for the sake of my loved ones. So, I have spent about 2 weeks now fighting myself back into a better mood.

I´m trying to trigger my mind into changing lanes so that I can draw on my creative energies, which lie in the higher end on the scale between flying oh so liberating high and diving oh so depressingly low.

Despite attempts from my anxiety and my bipolar disorder to draw me back down into the too well-known feeling of inadequacy, despair, and loneliness. I don´t have time for any kind of negativity whatsoever right now.

26 days from now, I begin on the journey from wannabe writer to a full-time job writing my own material between four and six hours daily. And I pray that my mood will change soon enough to make it a reality rather than a dream.

It helps a lot that Spring is here. I just observed a pair of pigeons fluttering their wings around a nearby tree. A friend of mine has told me that it is a sign of the coming of Spring.

The weather is fair but icy cold, as the temperature has dropped over the last couple of hours from a pleasant 10 degree Celsius to chilly 1 degree Celsius. So, staying inside is the preferable solution for me today.

Everything´s just fine by me, though. My mood is slowly but surely changing lanes, and I can feel it won´t be long before my creative mood sets the agenda again. With great care, it is possible to trigger my mind at a much faster pace than now.

But I know already by now that I´ll need to work with my notes for quite some time before they are ready for use. It doesn´t stop me from embarking on the next step of my writing journey.

My sweet husband has been busy preparing the garden for Spring, and the first Spring flowers have already shown their beauty. The birds are chirping loud when we are on the daily walk with the little wise, old dog.

And I feel truly at home here at my little paradise where even a pandemic era can´t change our way of living. It has to do with the world outside which we avoid as much as possible.

I have everything I need right beside me; if not, I can walk a few feet to my creative room or my witch´s den for inspiration and necessary props and gear. I plan to sit and write a lot in my witch´s den that needs a little preparation first.

But that is for the time after the next Sabbath in the Wheel of the Year, Ostara, which will be both beautiful and strong. It is time to bless the seeds and the plants in the garden. And it is time to create a ritual of wellness, too.

The planning begins next week. I need to clean and clean my witch´s den first, for it has been left a bit to itself recently due to my amount of notes for my writing project. It has taken me a long time to do my research.

Changing lanes is never an easy task. I´m drained at the moment, but I still prefer to work from late afternoon until very late at night. I´m a night owl, and so it is. The worst part right now is the feeling of inner turmoil and constant restlessness.

There is nothing to do but keep on fighting to become the better me. Therefore, I push hard to keep myself sitting in the chair behind the keyboard. And it works. I may not achieve as much as I want to. I may have to get more breaks than usual.

And I may sleep more after a writing session. But I get in the chair every day. I work my way through tons of material for my novels. And little by little, I´m getting closer to realizing my life´s dream of becoming a writer.

I can see that the number of followers grows. So, welcome to new readers, I hope that you´ll feel at home here. And do feel free to comment. How is life right now where you are? How are you doing in a pandemic era? And what´s on your mind?

With these words, I send you positive karma, a lot of thoughts, and online hugs, dear readers and followers. May the Sun shine strong, may happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness be the new must. And may changing lanes feel less wobbly.

So mote it be.

Picture of Elke Stürznickel from Pixabay 

Hot-wired inside, happy outside

The words describe exactly how I feel right now. I´m in the more quiet range of my mental bipolar friend´s turf. I´m actively trying to hot-wire myself, so that I may break the circuit of slowness, thought flight, and a sneaky depression.

My medication and therapy only take care of the symptoms of bipolar disorder and anxiety. The rest is entirely up to me, and I admit, these weeks are uphill, for I feel happy and content despite every attempt to feel blue and anxious.

I´m in full control of what´s happening inside me, for I have tried to fight back so often in my life that I this time face all my fears at the same time. I decided last Spring that I would never again suffer so much.

And I keep my promise. I divert myself from the craziness that is happening in the world in a pandemic era by using every strategy available to avoid falling into that deep well of self-doubt that comes along when in a depressive period.

So, I´m hot-wired inside, happy outside. Besides, I don´t have time for any kind of negativity in the moment when I´m almost ready to begin writing my novels. It may disrupt my sleep pattern a bit, bit it is a fair price to pay.

I will take a longer nap later today when I have been on the cell phone with my father. Until then, it is full throttle and fast forward working. I have five to six different files open at the same time, so that I can easily switch the moment I feel low on energy.

I also believe that a positive outlook, lots of hard work, and a strong determination of getting better can trigger the other mood to come forward. I do it with great attention, for bipolar disorder is definitely not a game to begin playing for fun.

But, trust me, I know what I´m doing, for I have done it before. Today, I have all the necessary resources right at hand, enough time to handle both ailments and a gigantic novel project, and an assertive attitude.

Therefore, I´m fully capable of triggering my best side now, although I´m living in stealth mood at the moment. I´m mentally strong enough to do so, otherwise it is not recommendable at all to work with yourself this way.

So, hot-wired inside, happy outside. And the task today is the most demanding of them all: to read and write notes to hardcore facts about the locations for my novels. It is often written in the passive voice, as the one I use in this sentence.

It will be so for the next month, but I have to do it in this way, because I don´t want to spend too much time researching when I begin the writing process from April 1st, 2021. The rewrite of the notes will continue until Summer.

I can see the piles of paper growing and evolving. And it takes a lot of time to rewrite and order my notes, because I have pretty high standards. It has to be worth working with, it has to be as good as perfect, and it has to be my way.

Knowing too well that I haven´t had neither the time nor the mental energy to work with witchcraft for a while, I will use this weekend to create a beautiful ritual with the theme personal well-being.

So I will include a bathing ritual, something to grow from mentally, and some shadow work. By facing all my fears at the same time, they diminish in size and get worldly, so that it is possible to deal with them without getting more scarred from them.

As I´m writing this, I use fast music with lots of bass and drum rhythms to trick my mind into forgetting everything about bipolar disorder and anxiety and just live life to its fullest.

My warm-up today is this blog post where I´ll treat you with a fresh picture of our yard, where my husband has begun working, so everything will be beautiful and fit for a cup of coffee outside under a blue sky without stripes from planes.

Yes, it is Corona-free zone then. It moves closer now, and the numbers are rising again, before some of the lockdown is over for the time being. It is way too soon, and it will be grim, and I´m certain I will be proven right.

There are so many stupid and egoistical people around. And yes, this will hurt us all no matter what we do or don´t do. This is Mother Nature, and she is furious with us. We have behaved terribly for so many, many years.

Now, it is time to look closely at our lifestyle and adapt to reality. Now, it is time to shut up and cooperate. And now, it is time to write that time will tell who did what where and when. And there will be a payback time, too.

Oh yeah, hot-wired inside, happy outside. To me it is possible to trigger my mind because I´m used to a daily mix between highs and lows. To create another balance than my mind wants to is difficult, however both necessary and quite safe with me.

I have a whole life full of experiences to keep me from diving way too low at the same moment that I´m getting ready for the journey of my lifetime. And I have a strong determination to put action behind my words.

Call it positive shadow work, it helps and it keeps me fairly sane. I have to work with myself anyway, since my counselor is on a holiday until next week. But I can write to her, and I will if the need should arise.

I wish that the day had more hours. Most days now, time seems to slip through my fingers as were it grains of sand. I have to choose what to spend my time with, for I can´t embrace it all at the same time.

To my frustration, for I have many interests. And I simply don´t have enough time. Well, I do, for I also believe that we get exactly the amount of time that we need. There is a reason behind every mystery.

And the biggest mystery of all is life itself. My philosophy is simple, yet complicated: Live in the present moment, love to live, and learn to cope with the fact that we all have to pass the Rainbow Bridge some day.

But before that, we have been given a life full of fantastic opportunities, if we only dare to seize the moment, when they occur. And the core value is not the amount of money on the bank account.

No, it is the small pleasures in life that counts. Learn to love the everyday, for the most days happen here. For a reason. Being that nothing comes for free, life is hard work all the way from crib to grave.

But life is also beautiful, rich, and the greatest gift of all. With these words, I wish you a wonderful weekend, dear readers and followers. May the Sun and the Moon shine on your path and bring you happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness. And so it is.

Springtime

Thank you, dear Universe. From freezing temperatures to the first steps of Spring. The birds sang their heart out on our daily morning walk with the little, wise, old dog. And life is rich in the garden and the yard.

It calls for a cup of fresh-brewed coffee outside, warm clothes, for the wind is still chilly. Perhaps tomorrow morning after the daily walk. It helps mentally to keep the change in mood at bay.

Oh yes, I´m changing from the fast lane to the slower, more restless, and quiet time of life. Thank you not, dear bipolar friend of mine. The anxiety, however, remains silent without even hissing at me as it usually does.

It is Springtime. I believe that my experiment with the bowl of salt and bay leaves has done its magick. I sigh in relief since I´m most certainly not a winter person at all. No, I´m a night owl, preferring anything but cold and painful winters.

This positive element calmed me down while I watched the news. The county next to mine now has the highest numbers, still counting as they climb and climb due to the British variant of Covid-19.

We are preparing for the worst-case scenario. From now on until better times, we will only shop local. We do it already, but now it is essential to be alert. It feels strange that so many still won´t listen and pay Mother Nature due respect.

People need to understand that the times are changing. There is no going back to an old “normal” anymore. The world has changed, and we humans have to adapt. It is that simple, yet it seems so difficult to grasp. Why ???

We need to look ourselves in the mirror and ask serious questions about our choice of lifestyle. Now. It will dawn on people eventually, but we haven´t seen the worst just yet. But stay calm and focused, Self, what really counts is life in the present moment.

In here, the world outside has no business whatsoever. Here, we create our own rules, here we take good care of each other, and here we have learned to love the everyday, where most days are lived anyway.

I might as well reveal that my novel project once again has to be postponed by 2 more weeks. It will therefore be April 1st, 2021 before I begin writing my novels. Yes, novels, for my plan is to write all three in a year.

I can see from my word counting that it is possible for me to write several thousand words every day for very long periods at a time. The prolonging of the writing process is due to necessary preparations.

So at the moment I´m studying six American states and need to read more detailed information about the main locations for the settings in my novels. It takes longer time than I expected. But I need to do it to be as authentic as possible.

Springtime equals renewed energy here. My sweet husband is currently working hard to paint our home in light, encouraging colors. And we have asked our fair landlord for new windows upstairs and downstairs.

My energy has lowered to a point where I fight back every inch of the way. I don´t have the time for being passive, depressive, and inclined to weep. I don´t have the energy to deal with past issues anymore. And I don´t like this side at all.

Therefore, I use every strategy available to control my bipolar disorder. I may have to force myself into the chair every day, but I end up sitting there nevertheless. It may take me longer, but the work gets done anyway.

By fighting back so focused on my novel project is a major help. I hope and pray that this period will be short, so I can return to the lighter, more inspirational, and creative side ASAP.

I have also found an online group with like-minded people with the same diagnosis in common. We help each other with support and advice that neither nor relatives or any professional can provide.

A language of our own, without all the usual filters, explanations, and translations of why a person with bipolar disorder behaves, thinks, and reacts as he or she does. It is so often a road full of misunderstandings, ignorance, and bias.

I have been asked to give talks about anxiety and bipolar disorder when better times are a reality, and I have accepted. It is something to be proud of, but it is a future project, as the times are pretty unsafe right now.

Springtime. The word alone tastes sweet, smells fresh, sounds cheerful, looks beautiful, and feels fantastic. I´m building up a lot of tension in my mind. Because I want my novel project to be worth following and enjoying to my readers.

May your weekend be absolutely fantastic, dear readers and followers. Welcome to new followers, nice to have you on board. And may the world come to its senses sooner rather than later. So it is.

Picture of 👀 Mabel Amber 👀, Messianic Mystery Guest from Pixabay 

Twelve years and six months with my man

On Valentine´s Day 2 days from now, my man and I will have known each other for twelve years and six months. And on January 18, 2022, we will celebrate our copper wedding anniversary as husband and wife.

Twelve years and six months is a pretty long time, referring to the undeniable truth that we both have had our issues to deal with throughout life in the past.

The day we met was chaotic, complicated, and long. But after we met, everything changed. Not always for the better at first, yet somehow never so bad that our relationship was doomed.

We have been so close to a divorce that we gave each other a year to decide whether we should stay together or leave for good. It was after my beautiful classic car was stolen and burnt to ashes.

The incident released a seven-month-period with me in a serious manic episode. That the following year led to my hospitalization and more than three years of recovery through backbreaking hard work from us both.

But for an extended period of time now, we have been and are happy together. My man is the rare kind, where you are treated with equal parts of brutal honesty and deepfelt respect.

He makes me feel loved and important, he makes me laugh, and he makes my life whole and prosperous. He is my dearest, most trusted friend and ally, he is my sweet lover, he is my beloved husband.

So, on Sunday, we will enjoy a Beef Wellington menu together, celebrate that we, despite more obstacles than we want to remember, are here still, with even more love between us than ever before.

And we will rejoice in the fact that we managed to overcome impossible odds and chose a different lifestyle just in time to reinforce the deep bond between us.

Today, it is icy, piercing, bitterly cold outside. The temperature hasn´t been so low for nine years. King Winter may have a solid grip out; however, inside, it is cozy and filled with warmth and inner peace.

I´m on a break from my preparations for my novels. Research takes time, especially since I will be writing about another country from Denmark and American English.

But if you want to hit the stars, you don´t aim at the treetops only. One might as well have high ambitions and aspirations. Time is precious, on the other hand, so I use mine wisely.

Research is about gathering enough material without overloading either my own mind or the mind of my readers. I have some tough decisions to make along the way.

But I´m getting pretty close to the moment of no return. I feel that time tends to slip through my fingers, for at the moment, it feels like an odd and eerie rhythm that I can´t seem to fully grasp.

Perhaps, it´s due to my coming of age and becoming a Crone. The witch in me is relatively quiet during these cold winter battles with nature and my tendency toward winter depression.

But I plan to create little and short meditation rituals where a cup of hot chai tea will be served with a great book, a small creative project, or simply sitting down to reflect on life in general and my shadow Self.

I celebrate the eight Sabbaths of the Wheel of the Year, but I can´t find the time to follow the Moon´s phases as much as I would like to. Therefore, I have begun creating my own occasional rituals with emphasis on themes.

These themes are rooted in my everyday and focused on the simple yet touching idea that a little beauty, lots of lit candles, and a festive atmosphere can make a considerable difference.

I´m slowly but surely changing moods now. I pray that this time will be so much different from last Spring. It helps with the Sun shining healthy and beautiful.

At the moment, I´m using every strategy available to me to avoid feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, and angry with myself. I also allow myself to laugh and cry whenever I want to.

The world is star crazy anyway, so why not let go of what´s left of so-called dignity instead of feeling free and human? And, besides, my hormones are hissing at me. Menopause is a strange thing, yet beautiful.

But for the remains of the day, I choose to be happy and content with my life as it is right now. It is as good as it gets, and I might just as well celebrate being alive at all.

May your weekend be bliss, dear readers and followers. And may my man and I share the rest of our lives together. And by the way, dear Universe, spread some happiness on your way to everybody else.

Picture of Christine Sponchia from Pixabay 

The light at Imbolc

This week, we celebrated the Sabbath of Imbolc. Today´s pictures is about a light festival, a call to the coming of Spring, and a hope for better times ahead of us all.

My Imbolc altar

It is the first Sabbath with garden blessings, of which there will be many more during the changing seasons. Yet, winter is to be conquered, and they have promised more snow and freezing temperatures this weekend.

This week, I have been able to get a hands-on look at how the natural light is constantly changing. Now, we are headed for a happy time with more and more light coming forth day by day.

On our daily walks with the little wise old dog, who rests comfortably in his basket right next to my feet, the frost and the snow have created a landscape dressed in white.

And the local creek area is a beautiful walk worth these days. The Sun claims more and more moments of pure joy and this good feeling of being alive and well despite a world in chaos.

The winter view from our kitchen

During the last couple of weeks, I have studied the settings for my novels. I can feel that I once again have to postpone the writing part of the process. The settings simply need more time for me to study them.

So, until further notice, my first day of pure writing will be on March 15, 2021. Meanwhile, I´m busy creating a fictional scenery with solid roots in reality to be as authentic as possible.

My characters are slowly, but surely, being formed in my mind, as the week passes on with preparations, daily writing prompts, and an increasing word count by the hour.

I have decided to lift a little bit of my secretive veil around me as a person, who prefer the solitary path and wants to live as anonymous as it is possible in a modern world.

So today I provide you with a direct link to my writing playlist on Youtube. Yes, I use pen names a lot, and this one came along by itself the day I decided to change my lifestyle permanently:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=writing+playlist+1+louise+laursen

It is the second on the list, just right click the link here.

It is a flexible playlist. If you have any suggestions of great music to write to, feel free to let me know. I listen to many different kinds of music, and I´m always interested in learning what other people listen to and why.

The light at Imbolc is my first indication of a new season arriving soon. King Winter still has a firm grip on Mother Earth, but never mind him being fierce and piercing cold.

Spring is coming, the birds already sing loud on the walks, and the philosophical cats have begun shedding their winter coat. And with a little help from magick, I believe that it is possible to call for Spring.

Take a pretty bowl, fill it with coarse salt, seven bay leaves and your silent prayers for better times, and put it in the window sill, where it will be touched by the rays of the Sun, reborn at Yule/the Winter Solstice.

Spring bowl and hyacinths

Sitting at my creative desk, I can see the sun from the window to the street. One of the cats reside in a box from the local grocery shop on my right side of the desk. Another is yet again in the windowsill.

My husband is helping our neighbor and dear friend, I´m preparing myself for the call to my father later in the afternoon, and thinking of my life here at this special place.

Once again, my mood is changing. This time, it feels like an undercurrent of a vague, undefinable sadness, like a touch of frost in the morning. My medication and therapy keep it at bay. But I still feel it.

The funny or strange part of this is that my spirit is still high, and I´m happy and content with my life. Yet it is possible to feel this eerie sadness, and I´m easily touched by the smallest of things.

And five minutes later, I laugh my soul free with a roaring laughter, some times also of things that are not funny indeed. I ascribe it to my menopause struggles more than my mental disorders right now.

But the wheel of the year is moving fast, and I have to move along with it, no matter how annoying my mental health can be at times. I cross my fingers and assume that it is a matter of a couple of weeks.

It is my first turn to the calmer, more passive side of living with a bipolar disorder supplemented with the whole party of anxiety disorders since last fall, so I´m eager to try to keep up my pace with the novels.

Last Spring was a horrible experience with loads of fear and uncertainty about the new reality of a life in a pandemic world. Therefore, I use every strategy available to maintain a healthy balance between highs and lows.

But the light of Imbolc can cure many a negative thought on the way, so I´m alright, thank you. May you be that too, dear readers and followers. Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.

A window to the world

Again a week in full speed regarding my research for my novels to be. Yet another press conference, the restrictions continue. And a constructive conversation with my counselor on a walk for about an hour.

My window to the world is right here, right now. So let me begin today´s blog post by thanking my new followers for joining me on my journey between writing and witchcraft.

My plans for this blog are the long-term perspective. For I am considering if this could be an interesting way of finding beta-readers for my novels. My plan is simple, I´ll give away little snippets from time to time.

But I´m still working with the preparations behind a trilogy. Currently, I´m studying settings and getting closer to finding the exact locations, the framework for my novels for them to be realistic.

So, I would like to ask in advance, do any of you, dear readers and followers, want to become a beta-reader? Please let me know, and I will follow up as soon as I have new writing to present.

My plan for the writing part is that I begin on March 1st, 2021. I´ll need a couple of months to present a piece of writing that I love to read myself. So high are my demands for this project. It has to be worth the time.

Therefore it will be in the Fall of 2021 before I hopefully have something thrilling, exciting, and scary to present. I will make mistakes, but I will try my absolute best to make it as few as possible.

Since last Friday, I have experienced a series of mini anxiety attacks that are extremely annoying. It comes like a shadow from behind, and it feels just utterly uncomfortable for a couple of minutes each time.

But then I sigh deeply, re-focus on my goals as a writer, a witch, and a human being, and I keep on doing what it takes to make a stand against the feeling of inner stress that such attacks bring forth.

My bipolar disorder is slowly but surely changing from the fast lane to the more moderate version of me. My mood itself is fine, though, it is only the thought patterns that try to keep my spirit down.

It began out of dire necessity. I decided that I wanted a good life despite serious mental disorders in 2017, when my world turned 360 degrees around itself out of nowhere, indeed.

The theft and burning of my beautiful classical car brought forth a seven-month-manic episode that resulted in a voluntary hospital stay. Now, more than three years later, I´m as well as I can be.

The right regime of prescription medicine and professional therapy has changed my life for the so much better. And today, I still have a counselor, which I have been granted for the rest of my life.

I´m aware that I live in a privileged society with good welfare despite the ongoing Covid-19 crisis. So I´m grateful and content with my life as it is right now.

Even though I can no longer provide for myself and my loved ones. I have early retired ten years ago due to a combination of a tough life and both physical ailments and mental disorders.

Therefore, my writing and my witchcraft have become my kind of work. And I put many efforts into doing it out of respect for those paying for me via the tax system. And I still pay my own share of it, too.

Another thing that I´m grateful for is this window to the world. Where I get to read and follow new interesting people all over the world. Where I feel free as a writer. And where I thrive as a witch, too.

For it is also a magickal experience to sit and write post after post. In July 2021, I will have been writing here for two years. I just saw a tracking that made me believe I´m able to write a novel.

I have written more than half a million words here on this blog by now. And I need about 300,000 words for my psychological thriller trilogy. If I can write here, I can write books as well.

I also tried some time ago to write a couple of snippets for my loved ones to read and listen to. And they told me to go for it, because they liked it. Not because it was me, they liked the writing because it was good.

Yet, I believe that the help from beta-readers outside a family is a pretty good idea to toggle with. Knowing what is expected for a writer of psychological thrillers, I also expect something from my beta-readers.

What I need is constructive criticism. Do tell me what the problems are, just don´t give me the solution. That way, I learn and write better at the same time. And that´s what a writer like me wants.

A window to the world is a gift, especially in times of serious trouble as in right here and right now. It gives me a broader perspective on what´s happening in the world of today.

It brings me new and unexpected friends, and it gives me great joy to write well enough to capture the attention of other people who are willing to follow me and stay with me.

Thank you for your time, dear readers and followers. May your weekend be blessed with hope rather than despair, healing sunshine, and whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe. So mote it be.

Picture of mohamed Hassan from Pixabay 

Behind beauty lurks fear

Through the week, I´ve studied settings relevant for my novel trilogy. I chose a place of stunning beauty and natural forces with both majestic features and awe-inspiring strength.

Strong settings are the last, but most certainly not the least important part of my research for my novel puzzle. Until now, I have gathered the framework for my upcoming writing.

The writing itself is the process of piecing together this gigantic project of mine. Without the hard work behind the writing, I couldn´t write what I believe that I can.

So I´m grateful that I´ve spent more than 18 months preparing for an exciting journey despite of a world in more or less chaos. That chaos delayed my work with at least 5 months where I couldn´t focus right.

Fortunately, the fall of 2020 showed some progress, so that I now am able to work solely with settings until the last week of February. At that time, I need a week to go through my material and think of something else.

Behind beauty lurks fear are my words for the atmosphere that I´ll try to create in my novels. To attain that, I need to have equal measures of respectively character development and setttings.

By doing so, I hope to attain that the interaction between nature of undeniable beauty and human mental survival instinct will be believable and worth reading.

To write the setting like a character is anything but easy. It will always be a matter of taste. But I believe that it brings extra energy with both natural and human tensions on the loose in a well-written plot.

Besides working hard with this, I have a ritual ready for practice. I think tomorrow morning, Saturday, will be perfect timing. I need a small break from the many hours behind the keyboard and from pen and paper.

During a lookdown, there is much more quiet in the streets. It´s only at local rush hour twice a day that we notice anybody. Occasionally, a pedestrian walks by, oftentimes with a dog.

It is dog turf where I live, it is a rather small little town, far enough from the major cities, though. And the little wise old dog gets his morning walk as a meaningful routine every day.

He sleeps and snores happily unaware that I sit here, trying to focus both on this blog post and on my current research. There is a lot to read and make useable notes of, so I switch between the work.

The writing part today is calming, releasing, and quiet. For once, I´m listening to the sound of the everyday during a lockdown. The philosophical cats are resting, except for young Milo.

He is playful, funny, and purrs whenever you get to touch him. The two ladies, Ozzy and Dizzy sleeps in boxes or on windowsills. And my husband rests due to an irritating headache.

It is a bit rush hourly outside my window in the point of view from the desk. I need the daylight, though, so I don´t pull the curtains just yet. But I can feel the stress coming from the world a few feet away.

Only separated by walls and a window. The street runs just outside our home to the western direction. It is a busy street at times, and many drive like were they chased by the Devil himself.

So yes, behind beauty lurks fear. My anxiety is very much awaken, thank you not, and go away anxiety. Sit. Stay. But I also know that soon it will be so different, so quiet, so beautiful again.

Another thing I know as a learned fact throughout life and via many incidents with many different kinds of people is that however beautiful someone´s behavior might be, the direct opposite is just as present.

And at the same time and place often also. I write about it because I want to learn what it means to be a human being and what humans are capable of doing that lingers on long after its original mental impact.

Would it be a perfect world without the dark , the unknown, and the direct eerie reality of life as a thin balance between opposites? I think definitely not. Then we could speak of being bored.

I like to try to understand other people and their behavior. Then it is way easier to be me when not alone. I was raised rather strict. Therefore, and because I am who I am, I have had to learn social signals by myself.

Being skeptical of some kinds of people is not due to any resentments against anybody as such. I use my life´s experience and my inner gut feeling to determine my preferences.

As a result, I live somewhat isolated by choice, not by necessity. So the quietness of a lockdown is bliss to me. Mother Earth needs desperately to rest, for we humans have not treated her with respect and care.

Which is an extremely stupid idea looking at the incredible strengths of her natural forces against which we are defenseless in every aspect of the word. So when Nature speaks, listen.

May your weekend be peaceful, joyful, and happy, dear readers and followers. And may the new President of the United States and his Madam Vice President be blessed with good fortune. As we will it, so mote it be.

Ozzy in the windowsill

The bliss of staying home

Today, I once again conquered my fear of leaving my safe haven for the weekly grocery shopping at our local store. My glasses became useless instantly as we went into our shop.

But then it is only to wait a few minutes until it is possible to see clearly again. More and more, I appreciate the bliss of staying home. I got my new gamer´s chair this week, and I absolutely love it.

Bought online for app. 200 dollars, 1,000 Danish crowns. And delivered by GLS only two days after I bought it online from a Danish store. Now, I sit like a princess, and my desk area has become my navigating bridge.

My back still aches some after a couple of years with outworn chairs, pillows and constant jerking around to try to find a comfortable position that can handle a long writing session.

But it it much better today due to the quality of my new chair which you can see on today´s picture. And other stuff has happened this week, too. I have decided to postpone my novel writing until March 1 2021.

I feel that I need an extra month to research the settings for my novels. Otherwise, I´m practically as ready as it is possible to be. Almost all my notes are now available on paper, on my laptop, and on my cell phone.

This weekend, I will prepare a small and cozy witchcraft ritual about happiness, inner peace, health, and kindness. I´m also planning my first Sabbath in 2021, Imbolc or Candlemas at February 1st.

My focus will be on creating something memorable, something beautiful, and something useful. All surrounded by as many candles as possible, so there can be some light to awaken from the Winter to.

I believe that a positive outlook on life in general is a major advantage, especially in times of big crisis, as in right here, right now. And I try to live as much in the present moment as possible.

More and more, writing, witchcraft, and lots of creative pursuits have become my pillars of trust, comfort, and positive change. I choose them before anything else when the world outside feels overwhelming.

First and foremost, my family and my friends are my rocks upon which I rely for advice, comfort, and well-being. Then comes my many interests. And beneath all this, you find me, the writer, the witch, and the artist.

The bliss of staying home is priceless. There are not so many cars in the streets, there are fewer people to be cautious of, and there are days, weeks, and months filled with inner peace, inspiration, and happiness.

My anxiety and my bipolar disorder argue with each other how to distress me the most, but so far they are only arguing. So, I keep them in special corner, where they may hiss and growl, but there they have to stay.

I receive weekly calls from my counselor, because we don´t want to expose neither of us to any sort of unnecessary risks, as times are right now.

And I speak with my father three times a week. We await his 83th birthday on the very day that Mr. Joe Biden and Mrs. Kamela Harris are to be inaugurated on January 20 2021.

I sincerely hope that it will be a peaceful transition. Nobody needs any kind of violent behavior. Nobody ever gains anything by violence. And nobody should try to disturb such a special event.

It is fair enough to feel frustrated. But I believe that the only lasting change comes through conversations on common ground, and history also shows that political violence only causes more frustration.

What I find frustrating right now is that they keep pushing their World Championship in handball for men in Egypt, even though many of the teams have problems with Corona already.

Stop pretending that everything is still normal as “normal” was before the Corona era. It is not. And it will never be the same again. The world have changed, and we humans have changed with it, whether we like it or not.

Oftentimes, change is for the better. And Mother Earth sighs of relief. Less humans out there to use more of the resources than we are supposed to do.

I truly hope that we learn this time. It is more than about time to seek change and change lifestyle while we still have the chance to do it voluntarily.

Here, my everyday has changed for the better. I´m not so anxious these months, because we have our daily routines to resort to when in times of trouble.

The bliss of staying home is to me a fantastic feeling of come full circle. Everything connects and makes meaning now. I know where my talents are, and I have good stories to tell.

And when it in little more than a year from now is time to search for beta readers, I know that I will begin here on this blog. Thank you, dear readers and followers, for your time, patience, and stamina.

It motivates me even more to know that I have this window to the world. Because I get direct writer experience, because I get to learn from my mistakes, and because I feel at home here as a writer and a witch.

May your weekend be blissful, too, dear readers and followers. And may the world cool down a bit and teach us humans to relax and to take things more easy now. There is no need for haste and stress whatsoever.

So mote it be.

My new gamer´s chair

The many hours behind a work in progress

As a reader, you usually don´t get to follow the many hours behind a writer´s work in progress. But here on this blog, I present you for a brutally honest view into how I work as a writer.

You typically don´t get to be close to a working witch either.

This blog post is written in honor to both working areas. They are my dear passions, my favorite creative worlds to conquer, and my kind of medicine bag to carry wherever I find myself.

At this very moment, I´m trying to learn to work well with the American English grammar. The theoretical stuff behind all the nice words.

Ah, and I make mistakes. Many. But I believe that the intense study of grammar, writing techniques, and other helpful concepts behind the life of a writer will make a positive difference for the quality of my novels to be.

I have long ago stopped counting the hours when I´m working with the passions of my creative life. I just know that it some days feels like extremely hard working conditions.

By that I don´t mean the settings for my writing and my work as a witch. I´m so privileged to have the necessary means and a small, but solid budget.

Besides that, I live in a big house where I have more personal space than I could ever have dreamt about. And everywhere, there is a special spot, where I can find my personal inner peace and be creative.

But I can tell you from my point of view that it is worth every split second of my life to be a writer and a witch. Together, they form my strong personal positive outlook on the world, the crazy world we all live in.

I turn to them whenever I feel overwhelmed, anxious, and painfully aware of my weaknesses. I choose them before anything else when working creatively, for they nurture my soul.

These weeks are intense working weeks, where I spent probably around 8-10 hours daily preparing to begin writing my novels in just a few weeks from now.

My body hurts from a bad chair solution that will improve as soon as I can afford to buy a gamer´s chair online. I dream about grammar, MacGuffins, and thrilling ideas for my novels.

But I have never been happier creatively than now.

Today is even one of the longer days where I don´t feel that I accomplish anything at all. But I know I do, because the pile of paper grows, the amount of files on the laptop increase, and the cell phone is included, too.

Denmark is under lockdown again. But this time, I feel more prepared. And staying home is never a problem to me anyway. I prefer that to feeling utterly alone in the outside world.

I feel safe here, not in the outside world. Not anymore. And not for a very, very long time, anyway.

I only go out when I absolutely have to, and it suits me just fine. I´m a solitary witch for very good reasons. And as a writer, I´m always alone when I write.

We have agreed that I wear my ear phones whenever I want absolute peace around me. And it should be important to interrupt me, unless I have forgotten everything about time and place and about the common sense in taking long breaks from time to time.

As a witch, I have chosen to work in solitude, but I usually share my rituals with my husband and close friends.

As a writer, I have chosen a solitary path, too, for who knows better the many hours behind a work in progress than the writer herself.

At times, if feels extremely uphill, especially when a deadline is closing in. My first deadline this coming writing year is February 1 2021. That day I will celebrate the Sabbath of Imbolc/Candlemas and begin writing my novels.

But I have yet so many things to read and write, before I truly can say that I´m ready for this new and slippery journey. Where you dare to believe enough in yourself, so that readers may do the same.

I know from my past where I have spent countless hours reading and writing that I perform best under a certain pressure from e.g. a deadline or my own ambitions.

So, I also know that there is plenty of time yet to enjoy and curse, depending on the weight on the shoulders on a given day.

I have to start believing more in myself, so Self, you are okay, it is only fair to feel both nervous and excited about the biggest project in my lifetime.

I have conquered my writer´s block by using 3 daily journal prompts to keep myself from the well of self-doubt. Thereby, I get to write something every day, and it can easily inspire to write my novels.

I decided to write my prompts in the evening, while listening to the TV, rather than watch it, for I have something with TV. I´m extremely picky with what I want to watch and listen to on TV.

The same strict standards, well, they go for my work as a writer and a witch, too.

So I study genre, thrillers, especially the psychological and scary ones, and other writers. I also make a virtue of necessity and keep close attention to what the reader expectations are of my genre.

I have a story, or more correct, stories to tell, sorry, more show than tell that is.

And I have prepared myself for the hundreds of thousands of hours that is needed to write 3 novels of approximately 100,000 words each.

Regarding witchcraft, I have spent a little more than four years now studying the old ways. And the studies continue, for as with writing, the work never stops when it comes to witchcraft.

There are always new tricks and twists to learn and master.

May your weekend be blessed with positivity, love, and kindness, dear readers and followers. May the world find peace with itself. And may people understand that grotesque violence and meaningless attacks on the institutions of democracy have no place anywhere whatsoever.

And so it is. Blessed be and stay safe.

Picture of Free-Photos from Pixabay 

Happy New Year to the world

What a peaceful New Years Eve and night. People did care, after all. My dog and cats are all safe and well, without the usual fear, trembling, barking, meowing, and running all over the house.

So, a happy new year has begun. Let´s hope that the vaccines will help and that more people will care more for others rather than only themselves from now on. It is about time things change for the better.

My husband and I celebrated the New Year with my almost 83-year-old father on the cell phone, and together we got through a tough year with many new things to adapt to.

This year, I´ll continue to write on this blog every Friday. I will also try to come up with some sort of direction for this blog in the course of January. From February, however, it´s time to begin my novel.

I´m extremely excited about the prospect of writing my very own trilogy. It´s a life-long dream come true. A month more of preparations with the settings, and then I´m as ready as I can possibly be.

I know, it´s a tough journey awaiting me. But I just know that I have to try it out, and I know that it is possible, if you only dare to try and know how to prepare yourself for the long haul.

During the last eighteen months, I have been preparing myself, my family, and my friends for a task that demands me in the seat between four to six hours a day. Every day, also holidays and weekends.

I have tried to study as much about writing in my genre, the psychological thriller, as I possibly could consume and use as inspirational lighthouses in my search for the ultimate writing achievement.

I have read a lot, and I have written a lot. Especially here on this blog have I learned to trust my inner gut feeling when it comes to writing your best.

And I have also learned that some days I write downright rotten, and it is okay and fine. Everybody makes mistakes at some point, and I better do that before I take my first steps as a writer of novels.

I feel that I owe to my audience, that includes you, dear readers and followers, to do my very best. And to do that I have tried to prepare myself for both an adventure and countless hours of hard work.

Let me say out loud a happy new year to the world. With the new vaccines, we all got a glimpse of hope for a better future. And my husband and I will accept the offer as soon as we get it.

I have decided not to look back at the crazy year of 2020. It belongs to the past now, and on this first day of the new year, I prefer to write about the positive and to leave the negative for my novels.

I have chosen to write about people when they are stressed the most, when they find themselves meeting life on uncertain terms, and when they have no other choice but to act to survive.

Not only survival in the physical aspect, but in particular to remain sane. This is where the psychological thriller knows how to intrigue its audience. And this genre is so much me.

I have a life full of mixed experiences with many different kinds of people to draw some of my inspiration from. Other sources are the ways sadly so many people seem to be behaving these years.

And I have many ideas to how I can bring my characters in danger to force them to act accordingly. But that´s for my readers later to learn. First of all, I need to write my story through.

My goal is to write a minimum of 275 words every day. That way, I will have a novel consisting of 100,000 words in a year. I believe it is a reasonable and realistic goal.

This weekend I will take a good and hard look in my calendar, so that my other passion, witchcraft, also get its fair share of my attention. I need a lot of magick in my life, also as a spiritual release in a busy everyday.

Let me finish this happy new year to the world by referring to the most beautiful words that I know. Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool.

If you happen to know the author behind such beauty, please let me know. And promise me to take good care of yourself and others. Because Covid-19 is yet to be conquered for us all. Happy New Year. So mote it be.

Picture of markito from Pixabay