Last days of summer 2021

During these last days of summer 2021, I feel a deep need to express my condolences to mourning families worldwide.

Referring to the bombs in Kabul, Afghanistan, I sincerely hope that the world will come to its senses ASAP.

We all mourn because such violence is just meaningless in the purest sense of the word.

Nothing whatsoever justifies such things.

I don´t care about skin color, belief system, or any other cultural difference between me and other human beings. However, what matters to me is what hides behind the eyes and deep within the heart, mind, and soul.

I simply can´t watch the horror live on the news over and over …

Therefore, I try to divert my thoughts as much as possible from TV and radio. Instead, I turn to great orchestral music with which it is possible to write great stuff. Followed up by inciting, beating, roaring drums, and crying bass guitar solos. And to get to the end of today´s blog post with the faster, modern, electronic music that makes my fingers dance in tune.

The last days of summer 2021, well, to be brutally honest, they hurt due to a wooden leg right under my left buttock, annoying return of chronic arthritis pain in most parts of the body, and a bipolar disorder that needs to be told who´s the boss around here.

But this week brought up a new thing to be happy about. My latest creative inspiration is the charming work with a couple of miniature buildings. I have a flower shop and a beautiful traditional Chinese house. And my friend has a lovely little blue place. So we help each other building them.

And when I ask my husband for help as well, it is because arthritis weakens my hands and fingers from time to time. I also need new glasses. But, that is for October and, therefore, soon enough.

The pictures of this week are from my husband´s garden. Yesterday, we had a sweet, however short, coffee séance in the yard. More correct, it is becoming an actual city jungle of all sorts of plants, filled with the sight of beautiful butterflies along with humming bees.

The weather gods have once again sent us downpours and cats and dogs. Perhaps it is their silent protest watching over a world in an eternal fight with itself.

These last days of summer 2021 are filled with thoughts, many, thousands, and millions of them. I try to convince my bipolar disorder that it is best to return to the happiest version of me sooner rather than later.

As funny or awkward as it may sound, my anxiety disorders keep to themselves and have done that for some time now. However, this reminds me to be extraordinarily careful because, typically, it is in such situations that the attacks are heavier, more encompassing, and harder to conquer.

So, diversion is a significant issue here right now. I have spent the week writing in hand rather than typing because I needed to do something with high demands for concentration abilities. It always takes more time, but it was a bliss to be slow this week.

Concerning racing thoughts, I work intensely with my main characters. Now, two of them are ready to be used for personal gain in the shrewd hands of my female villain.

And by the end of this month, I will have the remaining six ready for action too.

Last days of summer, oh, I dread the upcoming fall and winter seasons. Believe me, I know their intense beauty, but it doesn´t make my mood any better. Not this year. Like it did not happen in 2020.

I always feel somewhat numbed, a little moody, and with a touch of sentimentality whenever summer is over again. This is because we wait so long for it to come, and when it finally is here, it only takes a few weeks before it is way gone again.

On September 28, 2021, it will be seven years since my beloved mother´s passing. It still hurts like hell, I still cry easily at the thought of her, and she´s still profoundly missed.

This Samhain is so very different from my first four years as a witch. On October 17, it will be five years since my beautiful classic car was stolen and burnt to ashes. Now, I finally get to burn the police report; they told me it would be five years before the case would turn permanently cold.

Therefore, I will celebrate my ancestors and my thirty-one-year-old car at Samhain, renewing my solemn vows to witchcraft.

Until then, I have only one ritual left for this, my fifth year as a witch. It is Mabon or Fall Equinox next month.

I already know by now that I want to work much more with meditation and little daily rituals in my sixth year as a witch. For I need to feel happiness, inner peace,  good health, and kindness.

I need it to be able to sit quietly and write my novels. The writing part is scary because soon, it is time to prove what I believe that I can.

September 1, 2021, I embark on the significant writing part of my writing adventure with a psychological thriller. Also, travel in the first novel to endure together with my characters. So, I´ll be swamped from there.

Therefore, I need diversion with both daily chores and other creative pursuits. I have asked my husband to teach me how to be a capable home chef. We begin from September to cook together, which will be both entertaining and highly educational (my husband knows how to cook great meals).

May your weekend be blessed with peace, freedom, happiness, and personal well-being, dear readers and followers. May the world grow up and begin working to keep the peace rather than making meaningless wars. And may the weather gods be kind and grant us sunshine and the last days of summer 2021. And so mote it be.


A day on the road and at the wild North Sea

Yesterday, I went on a complete day trip with highly treasured friends of the old kind, the rare people, the ones you can trust.

We traveled across significant parts of Jutland, paused at three different beaches, and had our lunch and afternoon coffee at cozy rest areas along the route.

Today´s picture was taken at a beach called Norre Vorupor (in Danish, it s Nørre Vorupør). It was windy; we got sandblasted, and we enjoyed our ice cream to the view of a roaring North Sea.

My body, soul, and mind heals near water and especially on days like yesterday. I have a wooden leg from a recent fall in a driveway after heavy cloudbursts. It is an annoying pain, it demands pain killers, and I know it will be weeks, perhaps months before it stops harassing me.

But after yesterday´s adventure, it doesn´t matter that much to me anymore. I´m mentally refreshed in a way I haven´t had the opportunity to experience for a very long time. My lunch, asparagus soup, is on the stove, a Blue Moon celebration awaits on the weekend, and it´s Friday.

I like Fridays best because then I get the chance to write for you, dear readers and followers. It is a privilege and an honor to do that.

For the remains of the day, I need to work around my many notes once again. I have about 20 pages left to incorporate in my latest notebook. And I want to work much more with my female antagonist, who is becoming more apparent to me day by day.

A formidable woman, a terrifying enemy, a human predator in disguise.

Her name and profile are yet to be fully developed, as I prefer to let my characters speak for themselves and show up whenever they feel for it. My inspirational muse contemplates my current efforts and is just outside of my reach.

Character development is a must when trying to write a psychological thriller. Therefore, I work with my main characters, the minor roles, and the extras when they present themselves to me. To not force the creative process of attempting to conquer the complex art of outlining a trilogy, I focus on writing when feeling inspired only.

The heavy, work-intensive part of becoming a writer I do also when I don’t feel inspired. There are many, many hours of thinking, scribbling notes, and building up a novel series.

However, for the first draft, I write straight from my heart and don´t stop to think twice. If I did that, I wouldn´t get very far due to inner doubts, and I simply don´t have time for that.

This weekend, we will celebrate the Sturgeon Moon and a Blue Moon because the Moon will be at the direct opposite position of the Sun. An excellent opportunity to express our gratitude over the way our lives have come full circle, to politely ask the Universe to grant us physical, mental, and spiritual healing, and to enjoy the beauty of my unique witch´s den.

As the second picture shows, my current creative diversion project is to piece together a miniature flower house. I have built a rack of shelves and a cupboard so far. Someday shortly, I hope to finish it before my 83-year-old father comes for a weekend visit in mid-September.

The Afghanistan crisis touches me deeply, and I, therefore, restrict my news watching to an absolute minimum.

Yes, it is time to show some serious gratitude, indeed.

I´m grateful that my life is filled with challenges, that I can write in freedom, and that I get to be with my loved ones regularly.

Let´s all meet in a silent online prayer for the welfare of those whose lives are at stake in a way that we here in the Western part of the world can hardly imagine.

A day on the road and at the wild North Sea recharged my mental batteries in a positive form, as I can promise now that my current mood swings soon will be released by my best possible version of me.

I can feel the change coming, and I´m happy and relieved.

After all, it is here that I can fully draw on my best creative energy. I need to be careful, nonetheless, because when I´m in the happy stage of my balance between highs and lows, I can´t always feel when I´m tired and need extra rest.

Yesterday also brought the first meeting with my new counselor. She is good at what she does, she is easy to talk with, and I look forward to working with her to make me able to master my own life.

The little wise, old dog sleeps in his basket at my feet. My husband watches TV with the philosophical cats, except for one of them, loudly informing us that she wanted a trip to our outdoor cat den.

I had a good conversation with my father earlier this afternoon; I spoke with my friends from yesterday, too. And I´m just in the mood for some work tonight. Well, not without painkillers, I´m afraid.

I sit on a soft pillow, as my leg problem means trouble sitting for long periods. Of course, walking the dog hurts as well, but I won´t do without it, for my dog and I need to do precisely that together every day we get to be together.

A long warm bath this morning loosened up the muscle tissue just below my left buttock. A simple thing to actually enjoy sitting down for more than a couple of minutes at a time; that truly makes my day. And so, we have already come to the end of today´s blog post. May it be life-affirming to read.

May your weekend and week be peaceful, beautiful, and full of love and care, dear readers and followers. And may the world reach out to those in desperate need of help right here, right now. As we will it, so mote it be.

Thirteen years with my husband

Tomorrow, my husband and I will have known each other for thirteen years. We have been married for twelve years already, and on January 18, 2022, we will have been married for exactly twelve years and six months. In my country, Denmark, traditionally it is called a copper wedding.

But a garden party during winter, no, thank you. So, therefore, we will celebrate in the summer of 2022 instead.

Thirteen years with my husband, where have all those years gone? Time is relentless, and we have had our significant share of marital difficulties during the years, culminating with the brutal news in 2016 about my beautiful classic car that was stolen and burnt to ashes for nothing at all.

An incident that sent me spiraling into a long and challenging manic episode for at least seven months. I had to be hospitalized in 2017. Since then, I have fought hard to conquer a bipolar disorder combined with ADHD and four anxiety diagnoses.

But gradually, the recent years have taught us both to stop fighting and to appreciate the bond of deep, true love between us.

Tomorrow is most certainly an appropriate time for a magickal ritual of gratitude in my witch´s den. And as I did recently, so will I plan for tomorrow as little as possible, only find my light version of a Book of Shadows, a black handwritten notebook.

I will pick my most treasured props and magickal items around in the many witchy corners of this old, extensive, and inspiring house that we live in.

I will play calming and meditating music on my cellphone. So, yes, I do use modern technology, too.

And I will show you my altars next Friday.

Something delicious to eat is also part of our celebration of the day thirteen years ago tomorrow when we met for the first time.

Coincidental, it was. It simply happened, and it was the best choice in my life.

My husband is a rare kind of a human being. He is brutally honest yet loving and deeply caring. He is hard-working, straightforward, and a good man. And he is the love of my life, my best friend, and my ally in the constant inner battle of mine.

Thirteen years with my husband, I would never ever change for anything in this crazy world.

He fully deserves some extra credit on my lifelong list of rare people I have been lucky enough to meet. He has changed my worldview many times, and not many people do I allow that prerogative.

Therefore, it is so, this blog post is written to him, about him, and to thank the Universe for him in my life.

His greatest passion besides our life together, our three philosophical cats, and the little wise, old dog is his beloved garden. Today´s blog pictures show his tall sunflower that is visible also in our back garden and my latest creative project.

A story on a canvas about a man walking his dog at a time when the sun shines, the moon is visible, it rains, and there are stars and a beautiful, glittering rainbow.

Tell me what you think when you look.

Today, I´m slower than I prefer to be; everything takes extra time, I´m quickly tired, and I´m in-between moods.

My S.A.D. lurks on the horizon as we soon enter the fall season from September 1. Mother Earth rocks our boat. And people are acting stranger than ever around the world.

But what really matters is what happens in the present moment, to make the most of every possible situation and to seek happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness.

And to help me incorporate that into a lifestyle fit for ups and downs, I have my husband. Right now, he is contemplating life in general and enjoying his daily nap after a morning full of energy.

He is also my strongest critic when we talk about my novel-writing adventure. Especially dialogue is his turf. He can hear the difference between good and rubbish. And mostly, he is right, spot on.

On the other hand, my husband is my knight in shining armor. He is attentive, encouraging, and loyal. As a friend, he is direct, present around the clock, and caring.

For him, I´m so grateful, dear Universe.  

Again today, I embark on a writing journey without knowing where it might take me. Yet, it is the part of writing that I love the most. The feeling of creating something just by writing one´s thoughts down and shaping it into a coherent piece of art.

However, the most intense moment of my writing is when I present it to my husband and you, dear readers and followers.

It is an honor and a privilege to be read. Thank you.

Yesterday, I had a minor breakthrough in work with my upcoming novels. I use a whiteboard to keep track of my current progress. And my latest addition to my many writing ideas is to keep a photo journal of that whiteboard.

The photo journal on my cellphone is an excellent reminder of the need to go back and check notes, character profiles, and plot twists, etc., from time to time.

The week has been long due to personal issues that have demanded maximum energy. Therefore, I need longer breaks and periods with creative diversions these weeks.

At the moment, I work with miniature houses. Patience, perseverance, and creation of beauty, however delicate and tiny.

I  need new glasses, and I just know by heart that it will be a costly affair. It is the thought of going out without masks, although fully vaccinated, among people who seem to care less and less.

In my ritual tomorrow, I will include an element of mental healing to generate enough extra energy to actually go out of my comfort zone and get my much-needed glasses.

In the meantime, dear readers and followers, please stay safe, enjoy life, and let me know how you are doing. So it is.

Fully vaccinated and business almost as usual

Thursday this week, my husband and I got our second shot of the Pfizer vaccine. I´m equally grateful for and thoughtful about feeling just a little bit secure.

I search for mindfulness, enlightenment, and inner peace in a world of deep insecurity, social unrest, and severe consequences of human activity on Mother Earth.

Here in Denmark, most people are acting as if the virus has left us for good. But we hang on to being extremely cautious when out in society. And I´m getting better and better at letting the news have its own life.

I do care, I´m deeply concerned, I worry. But I still got the opportunity to choose how much I let it affect my daily life and mental condition. So if it is close to us, if it is necessary to act now, and if it is something to take notice of sooner rather than later, then I listen and act.

If not, I still listen, but I let my frustrations flow with the creative flow in creating something beautiful and valuable as a direct contrast to what I can´t change, however much I can´t accept it.

Yesterday, I hurt. A lot. My arthritis and chronic pain nearly drove me off the edge, so that I had to turn to pain killers to get through the day. My mood needs to change soon as well. Therefore, I didn´t write a blog post.

Today, thank you, dear Universe, is so much better, though, concerning the level of pain.

I´m a bit slower than usual, but it is okay Self.

The extras in my novels, the sidekicks, and the main characters jump up and down to be written. I have trouble enough already concentrating due to my bipolar disorder. Thank you so much. Not.

I need to take charge of this business as soon as possible. So my plan is to completely clear my desk except for my laptop along with paper and pens. Then I will be trying the art of plotting because now I really need to keep focusing on a character-driven story rather than the external action for a long while.

I think the issue is that I want to create everything at once, which is simply impossible. I have the novels in my mind, but getting them down onto paper, that´s a totally different thing.

But after writing this blog post, I believe that I´m capable of working a couple of hours with the prologue and chapter one in my first novel. Then my hands will be warmed enough up to write something worth reading more than just once.

Yesterday was great in a different way. We went to our local market with two friends of the good old-fashioned kind. My husband found two more witch dolls for my witch´s den. In today´s pictures, you´ll be able to spot some of them. I have 15 in total now. Collecting continues.

Fully vaccinated and business almost as usual, I´m feeling better than in the past three weeks. I´m working hard to change it back to my preferred mood, which is the total opposite of how I´m battling myself on the inside.

Only I and my loved ones genuinely learn the implications of a bipolar disorder combined with anxiety. So I´m eagerly awaiting a call from my new counselor, whom I have yet to meet in person. Right now, my therapy consists of a diversion from even the slightest signs of negativity, rest, and iron will.

My latest Tarot card reading when celebrating Lammas, the first harvest festival, indicated hard work ahead. Of course, that´s not news to me, but I take it into consideration nevertheless.

A long warm hot bath later in the afternoon or early evening will be a life-affirming experience, as my body is pretty tired after a day of annoying pain on impractical parts, like, e.g., the ribs, the hips, and the knees with different levels of pain, of course, and certainly not synchronized.

Something delicious to eat, a cozy arrangement with lots of pillows and blankets on the couch after a good writing session, and peace and quiet in my body, mind, and soul in the evening. Those are my goals for today.

This week brought beauty in its raw context, too. My 83-year-old father wrote me an email that I´ll keep forever. He praised me, wrote between the lines that he was proud, and it inspired me. My husband brought me socks just before I sat down to write this.

And my dear friends, both close to me and around the globe, are also part of my big extended rainbow family.

Writing through my little window to the world is, as always, an incredible journey to be lucky enough to experience in this life of mine.

This weekend, I will try to work my way through my latest creative diversion. I have a black canvas, stones from a life of collections, and paint, other innovative materials, and an idea. About a man walking his dog with a rainbow on a sunny, shiny, beautiful day.

I plan to use crystals to create contrasting shadows. And so my project becomes a witchy thing as well.

However, how much I will be able to work with it depends on the level of arthritis pain in my hands. It really annoys me because it sometimes halters even the smallest of plans. The afternoon I spent laying down on my couch, trying to sleep some of the pain away.

But at least I can transport my canvas project from my creative den to my creative desk in our former dining area. Perhaps, with a bit of luck as well, I might paint the central rainbow in all seven colors, which, by the way, are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.

May your weekend be blessed with sunshine, freedom from pain and trouble, and beautiful memories for life. As we will it, so mote it be. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.