Recovery and recreation
Almost two weeks have passed, and I couldn´t feel better about my teeth. The stitches don´t hurt as such, but they itch, burn, and stretch my patience. I know that it´s only a matter of time before the healing process turns, gradually, as a slow but sure release.
So, my goals these weeks are to recover and spend my time doing what I love the most. Writing, of course, but also creative pursuits and hopefully witchcraft, too. It´s Beltane tomorrow, but I simply don´t have the energy for a complete ritual this time.
I will light candles and burn incense, though. The weather gods should behave, as we are speaking about May 1st. But the wind is chilling cold, the rain comes and goes as it pleases, and even the little wise, old dog doesn´t want to be outside more than he has to.
Listening to old school rock, melodic orchestral music, and oldies but goodies, I feel at ease with my life, as it is right here, right now. The last couple of weeks have taken their toll on my husband and me, but we are strong people who don´t give up no matter how difficult the issue.
I know from deep inside my heart and mind that sometimes a tough decision is what it takes to move on and remain positive and sane. It may hurt and might be devastating at first, but then, the thought strikes that we had to be so firm for a reason.
This blog post is therefore dedicated to those in need of recovery and recreation. It may seem a bit chaotic to begin within the midst of it all, but the calmness will arrive soon enough. That I do know from a tough life with changing lanes and directions a lot of the time.
We do have sweet and caring people supporting us. Our family and true friends are still here, even though we had to cut a bond that we had hoped would last. Well, it didn´t. When there is nothing left to give and nothing left to say, it is about getting back on track as fast as possible and move on.
Since my operation, I have no longer that terrible constant pain in my mouth. I´m free at last. I got my first tooth operation at the age of five. My teeth have haunted me since then. But now I´m in a healing process and wait for my new teeth to be made. Tonight, I even ate everyday food again.
Yesterday, I finished my research for now. There might be some additional research later on in the writing process, but now I need to gather my many notes, print them, and do a close reading. And when that is done, it is full-time writing.
I have so many ideas and snippets of intriguing dialogue that I need to get down from my thoughts to the paper. I do believe that I also have the skills to write my novels now. I practice, practice, practice. From my point of view, it is the only way besides reading that makes a difference.
My goal for the evening is to relax. To be creative with a piece of drawing paper and oil crayons. And to enjoy the company of my husband, three philosophical cats, and the little wise, old dog. After a refreshing bath, even pain and irritation can´t stop me from having a good time.
It is at the same time the only possible way to deal with a betrayal too big to leave unsaid. To show that life goes on and that our self-respect is not for sale at any price whatsoever. And to send a message about never to take us for granted again.
When enough is enough, things have to come to an end. It may hurt a while, but our freedom here is not to be negotiated with. When it hurts more to stay in a relationship, then it´s time to leave ASAP. And when you discover that you have been dealing with toxic people, it is an easy decision.
I sold my car last week. I can´t drive it myself anymore due to anxiety. And with our limited needs, we can just as well call for a cab for the handicapped. It costs a little, but it will never be as much as owning a car.
But I´m still happy and content with my life. Actually, even more so that is. I feel pure relief, less anxiety, and more happiness. My husband feels the same way. Together, we are strong, and we will come out even more robust in due time.
I have been a good lass, yes, I haven´t watched so much news lately, and I intend to keep it that way. I do see and hear my fair share of news without spending so much time worrying. I try to concentrate my efforts where I do make a difference. And let the rest be up to Karma and Mother Earth.
In a few sentences, I have written 1,000 words again in one session. It is enough proof to me that I´m capable of writing my novels. And that I will embark on in about a week or two. Until then, I will take time to recover fully and to rest whenever it feels necessary.
Recovery and recreation, the necessary duty and the pleasant retreat, are two companions whenever a crisis or something is going on in my life. Witchcraft is reduced, however, at the moment, to lit candles, incenses, and positive intentions.
But it doesn´t hurt, though. It is okay to take things slightly slower for a couple of weeks. And my witchy spirit is just around the next corner, so I know that witchcraft will soon play a significant role in our life again.
May your weekend be delightful and filled with joy of life, happiness, and kindness, dear readers and followers. As we will it, so mote it be.