A window to the world

Again a week in full speed regarding my research for my novels to be. Yet another press conference, the restrictions continue. And a constructive conversation with my counselor on a walk for about an hour.

My window to the world is right here, right now. So let me begin today´s blog post by thanking my new followers for joining me on my journey between writing and witchcraft.

My plans for this blog are the long-term perspective. For I am considering if this could be an interesting way of finding beta-readers for my novels. My plan is simple, I´ll give away little snippets from time to time.

But I´m still working with the preparations behind a trilogy. Currently, I´m studying settings and getting closer to finding the exact locations, the framework for my novels for them to be realistic.

So, I would like to ask in advance, do any of you, dear readers and followers, want to become a beta-reader? Please let me know, and I will follow up as soon as I have new writing to present.

My plan for the writing part is that I begin on March 1st, 2021. I´ll need a couple of months to present a piece of writing that I love to read myself. So high are my demands for this project. It has to be worth the time.

Therefore it will be in the Fall of 2021 before I hopefully have something thrilling, exciting, and scary to present. I will make mistakes, but I will try my absolute best to make it as few as possible.

Since last Friday, I have experienced a series of mini anxiety attacks that are extremely annoying. It comes like a shadow from behind, and it feels just utterly uncomfortable for a couple of minutes each time.

But then I sigh deeply, re-focus on my goals as a writer, a witch, and a human being, and I keep on doing what it takes to make a stand against the feeling of inner stress that such attacks bring forth.

My bipolar disorder is slowly but surely changing from the fast lane to the more moderate version of me. My mood itself is fine, though, it is only the thought patterns that try to keep my spirit down.

It began out of dire necessity. I decided that I wanted a good life despite serious mental disorders in 2017, when my world turned 360 degrees around itself out of nowhere, indeed.

The theft and burning of my beautiful classical car brought forth a seven-month-manic episode that resulted in a voluntary hospital stay. Now, more than three years later, I´m as well as I can be.

The right regime of prescription medicine and professional therapy has changed my life for the so much better. And today, I still have a counselor, which I have been granted for the rest of my life.

I´m aware that I live in a privileged society with good welfare despite the ongoing Covid-19 crisis. So I´m grateful and content with my life as it is right now.

Even though I can no longer provide for myself and my loved ones. I have early retired ten years ago due to a combination of a tough life and both physical ailments and mental disorders.

Therefore, my writing and my witchcraft have become my kind of work. And I put many efforts into doing it out of respect for those paying for me via the tax system. And I still pay my own share of it, too.

Another thing that I´m grateful for is this window to the world. Where I get to read and follow new interesting people all over the world. Where I feel free as a writer. And where I thrive as a witch, too.

For it is also a magickal experience to sit and write post after post. In July 2021, I will have been writing here for two years. I just saw a tracking that made me believe I´m able to write a novel.

I have written more than half a million words here on this blog by now. And I need about 300,000 words for my psychological thriller trilogy. If I can write here, I can write books as well.

I also tried some time ago to write a couple of snippets for my loved ones to read and listen to. And they told me to go for it, because they liked it. Not because it was me, they liked the writing because it was good.

Yet, I believe that the help from beta-readers outside a family is a pretty good idea to toggle with. Knowing what is expected for a writer of psychological thrillers, I also expect something from my beta-readers.

What I need is constructive criticism. Do tell me what the problems are, just don´t give me the solution. That way, I learn and write better at the same time. And that´s what a writer like me wants.

A window to the world is a gift, especially in times of serious trouble as in right here and right now. It gives me a broader perspective on what´s happening in the world of today.

It brings me new and unexpected friends, and it gives me great joy to write well enough to capture the attention of other people who are willing to follow me and stay with me.

Thank you for your time, dear readers and followers. May your weekend be blessed with hope rather than despair, healing sunshine, and whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe. So mote it be.

Picture of mohamed Hassan from Pixabay 

Behind beauty lurks fear

Through the week, I´ve studied settings relevant for my novel trilogy. I chose a place of stunning beauty and natural forces with both majestic features and awe-inspiring strength.

Strong settings are the last, but most certainly not the least important part of my research for my novel puzzle. Until now, I have gathered the framework for my upcoming writing.

The writing itself is the process of piecing together this gigantic project of mine. Without the hard work behind the writing, I couldn´t write what I believe that I can.

So I´m grateful that I´ve spent more than 18 months preparing for an exciting journey despite of a world in more or less chaos. That chaos delayed my work with at least 5 months where I couldn´t focus right.

Fortunately, the fall of 2020 showed some progress, so that I now am able to work solely with settings until the last week of February. At that time, I need a week to go through my material and think of something else.

Behind beauty lurks fear are my words for the atmosphere that I´ll try to create in my novels. To attain that, I need to have equal measures of respectively character development and setttings.

By doing so, I hope to attain that the interaction between nature of undeniable beauty and human mental survival instinct will be believable and worth reading.

To write the setting like a character is anything but easy. It will always be a matter of taste. But I believe that it brings extra energy with both natural and human tensions on the loose in a well-written plot.

Besides working hard with this, I have a ritual ready for practice. I think tomorrow morning, Saturday, will be perfect timing. I need a small break from the many hours behind the keyboard and from pen and paper.

During a lookdown, there is much more quiet in the streets. It´s only at local rush hour twice a day that we notice anybody. Occasionally, a pedestrian walks by, oftentimes with a dog.

It is dog turf where I live, it is a rather small little town, far enough from the major cities, though. And the little wise old dog gets his morning walk as a meaningful routine every day.

He sleeps and snores happily unaware that I sit here, trying to focus both on this blog post and on my current research. There is a lot to read and make useable notes of, so I switch between the work.

The writing part today is calming, releasing, and quiet. For once, I´m listening to the sound of the everyday during a lockdown. The philosophical cats are resting, except for young Milo.

He is playful, funny, and purrs whenever you get to touch him. The two ladies, Ozzy and Dizzy sleeps in boxes or on windowsills. And my husband rests due to an irritating headache.

It is a bit rush hourly outside my window in the point of view from the desk. I need the daylight, though, so I don´t pull the curtains just yet. But I can feel the stress coming from the world a few feet away.

Only separated by walls and a window. The street runs just outside our home to the western direction. It is a busy street at times, and many drive like were they chased by the Devil himself.

So yes, behind beauty lurks fear. My anxiety is very much awaken, thank you not, and go away anxiety. Sit. Stay. But I also know that soon it will be so different, so quiet, so beautiful again.

Another thing I know as a learned fact throughout life and via many incidents with many different kinds of people is that however beautiful someone´s behavior might be, the direct opposite is just as present.

And at the same time and place often also. I write about it because I want to learn what it means to be a human being and what humans are capable of doing that lingers on long after its original mental impact.

Would it be a perfect world without the dark , the unknown, and the direct eerie reality of life as a thin balance between opposites? I think definitely not. Then we could speak of being bored.

I like to try to understand other people and their behavior. Then it is way easier to be me when not alone. I was raised rather strict. Therefore, and because I am who I am, I have had to learn social signals by myself.

Being skeptical of some kinds of people is not due to any resentments against anybody as such. I use my life´s experience and my inner gut feeling to determine my preferences.

As a result, I live somewhat isolated by choice, not by necessity. So the quietness of a lockdown is bliss to me. Mother Earth needs desperately to rest, for we humans have not treated her with respect and care.

Which is an extremely stupid idea looking at the incredible strengths of her natural forces against which we are defenseless in every aspect of the word. So when Nature speaks, listen.

May your weekend be peaceful, joyful, and happy, dear readers and followers. And may the new President of the United States and his Madam Vice President be blessed with good fortune. As we will it, so mote it be.

Ozzy in the windowsill

The bliss of staying home

Today, I once again conquered my fear of leaving my safe haven for the weekly grocery shopping at our local store. My glasses became useless instantly as we went into our shop.

But then it is only to wait a few minutes until it is possible to see clearly again. More and more, I appreciate the bliss of staying home. I got my new gamer´s chair this week, and I absolutely love it.

Bought online for app. 200 dollars, 1,000 Danish crowns. And delivered by GLS only two days after I bought it online from a Danish store. Now, I sit like a princess, and my desk area has become my navigating bridge.

My back still aches some after a couple of years with outworn chairs, pillows and constant jerking around to try to find a comfortable position that can handle a long writing session.

But it it much better today due to the quality of my new chair which you can see on today´s picture. And other stuff has happened this week, too. I have decided to postpone my novel writing until March 1 2021.

I feel that I need an extra month to research the settings for my novels. Otherwise, I´m practically as ready as it is possible to be. Almost all my notes are now available on paper, on my laptop, and on my cell phone.

This weekend, I will prepare a small and cozy witchcraft ritual about happiness, inner peace, health, and kindness. I´m also planning my first Sabbath in 2021, Imbolc or Candlemas at February 1st.

My focus will be on creating something memorable, something beautiful, and something useful. All surrounded by as many candles as possible, so there can be some light to awaken from the Winter to.

I believe that a positive outlook on life in general is a major advantage, especially in times of big crisis, as in right here, right now. And I try to live as much in the present moment as possible.

More and more, writing, witchcraft, and lots of creative pursuits have become my pillars of trust, comfort, and positive change. I choose them before anything else when the world outside feels overwhelming.

First and foremost, my family and my friends are my rocks upon which I rely for advice, comfort, and well-being. Then comes my many interests. And beneath all this, you find me, the writer, the witch, and the artist.

The bliss of staying home is priceless. There are not so many cars in the streets, there are fewer people to be cautious of, and there are days, weeks, and months filled with inner peace, inspiration, and happiness.

My anxiety and my bipolar disorder argue with each other how to distress me the most, but so far they are only arguing. So, I keep them in special corner, where they may hiss and growl, but there they have to stay.

I receive weekly calls from my counselor, because we don´t want to expose neither of us to any sort of unnecessary risks, as times are right now.

And I speak with my father three times a week. We await his 83th birthday on the very day that Mr. Joe Biden and Mrs. Kamela Harris are to be inaugurated on January 20 2021.

I sincerely hope that it will be a peaceful transition. Nobody needs any kind of violent behavior. Nobody ever gains anything by violence. And nobody should try to disturb such a special event.

It is fair enough to feel frustrated. But I believe that the only lasting change comes through conversations on common ground, and history also shows that political violence only causes more frustration.

What I find frustrating right now is that they keep pushing their World Championship in handball for men in Egypt, even though many of the teams have problems with Corona already.

Stop pretending that everything is still normal as “normal” was before the Corona era. It is not. And it will never be the same again. The world have changed, and we humans have changed with it, whether we like it or not.

Oftentimes, change is for the better. And Mother Earth sighs of relief. Less humans out there to use more of the resources than we are supposed to do.

I truly hope that we learn this time. It is more than about time to seek change and change lifestyle while we still have the chance to do it voluntarily.

Here, my everyday has changed for the better. I´m not so anxious these months, because we have our daily routines to resort to when in times of trouble.

The bliss of staying home is to me a fantastic feeling of come full circle. Everything connects and makes meaning now. I know where my talents are, and I have good stories to tell.

And when it in little more than a year from now is time to search for beta readers, I know that I will begin here on this blog. Thank you, dear readers and followers, for your time, patience, and stamina.

It motivates me even more to know that I have this window to the world. Because I get direct writer experience, because I get to learn from my mistakes, and because I feel at home here as a writer and a witch.

May your weekend be blissful, too, dear readers and followers. And may the world cool down a bit and teach us humans to relax and to take things more easy now. There is no need for haste and stress whatsoever.

So mote it be.

My new gamer´s chair

The many hours behind a work in progress

As a reader, you usually don´t get to follow the many hours behind a writer´s work in progress. But here on this blog, I present you for a brutally honest view into how I work as a writer.

You typically don´t get to be close to a working witch either.

This blog post is written in honor to both working areas. They are my dear passions, my favorite creative worlds to conquer, and my kind of medicine bag to carry wherever I find myself.

At this very moment, I´m trying to learn to work well with the American English grammar. The theoretical stuff behind all the nice words.

Ah, and I make mistakes. Many. But I believe that the intense study of grammar, writing techniques, and other helpful concepts behind the life of a writer will make a positive difference for the quality of my novels to be.

I have long ago stopped counting the hours when I´m working with the passions of my creative life. I just know that it some days feels like extremely hard working conditions.

By that I don´t mean the settings for my writing and my work as a witch. I´m so privileged to have the necessary means and a small, but solid budget.

Besides that, I live in a big house where I have more personal space than I could ever have dreamt about. And everywhere, there is a special spot, where I can find my personal inner peace and be creative.

But I can tell you from my point of view that it is worth every split second of my life to be a writer and a witch. Together, they form my strong personal positive outlook on the world, the crazy world we all live in.

I turn to them whenever I feel overwhelmed, anxious, and painfully aware of my weaknesses. I choose them before anything else when working creatively, for they nurture my soul.

These weeks are intense working weeks, where I spent probably around 8-10 hours daily preparing to begin writing my novels in just a few weeks from now.

My body hurts from a bad chair solution that will improve as soon as I can afford to buy a gamer´s chair online. I dream about grammar, MacGuffins, and thrilling ideas for my novels.

But I have never been happier creatively than now.

Today is even one of the longer days where I don´t feel that I accomplish anything at all. But I know I do, because the pile of paper grows, the amount of files on the laptop increase, and the cell phone is included, too.

Denmark is under lockdown again. But this time, I feel more prepared. And staying home is never a problem to me anyway. I prefer that to feeling utterly alone in the outside world.

I feel safe here, not in the outside world. Not anymore. And not for a very, very long time, anyway.

I only go out when I absolutely have to, and it suits me just fine. I´m a solitary witch for very good reasons. And as a writer, I´m always alone when I write.

We have agreed that I wear my ear phones whenever I want absolute peace around me. And it should be important to interrupt me, unless I have forgotten everything about time and place and about the common sense in taking long breaks from time to time.

As a witch, I have chosen to work in solitude, but I usually share my rituals with my husband and close friends.

As a writer, I have chosen a solitary path, too, for who knows better the many hours behind a work in progress than the writer herself.

At times, if feels extremely uphill, especially when a deadline is closing in. My first deadline this coming writing year is February 1 2021. That day I will celebrate the Sabbath of Imbolc/Candlemas and begin writing my novels.

But I have yet so many things to read and write, before I truly can say that I´m ready for this new and slippery journey. Where you dare to believe enough in yourself, so that readers may do the same.

I know from my past where I have spent countless hours reading and writing that I perform best under a certain pressure from e.g. a deadline or my own ambitions.

So, I also know that there is plenty of time yet to enjoy and curse, depending on the weight on the shoulders on a given day.

I have to start believing more in myself, so Self, you are okay, it is only fair to feel both nervous and excited about the biggest project in my lifetime.

I have conquered my writer´s block by using 3 daily journal prompts to keep myself from the well of self-doubt. Thereby, I get to write something every day, and it can easily inspire to write my novels.

I decided to write my prompts in the evening, while listening to the TV, rather than watch it, for I have something with TV. I´m extremely picky with what I want to watch and listen to on TV.

The same strict standards, well, they go for my work as a writer and a witch, too.

So I study genre, thrillers, especially the psychological and scary ones, and other writers. I also make a virtue of necessity and keep close attention to what the reader expectations are of my genre.

I have a story, or more correct, stories to tell, sorry, more show than tell that is.

And I have prepared myself for the hundreds of thousands of hours that is needed to write 3 novels of approximately 100,000 words each.

Regarding witchcraft, I have spent a little more than four years now studying the old ways. And the studies continue, for as with writing, the work never stops when it comes to witchcraft.

There are always new tricks and twists to learn and master.

May your weekend be blessed with positivity, love, and kindness, dear readers and followers. May the world find peace with itself. And may people understand that grotesque violence and meaningless attacks on the institutions of democracy have no place anywhere whatsoever.

And so it is. Blessed be and stay safe.

Picture of Free-Photos from Pixabay 

Happy New Year to the world

What a peaceful New Years Eve and night. People did care, after all. My dog and cats are all safe and well, without the usual fear, trembling, barking, meowing, and running all over the house.

So, a happy new year has begun. Let´s hope that the vaccines will help and that more people will care more for others rather than only themselves from now on. It is about time things change for the better.

My husband and I celebrated the New Year with my almost 83-year-old father on the cell phone, and together we got through a tough year with many new things to adapt to.

This year, I´ll continue to write on this blog every Friday. I will also try to come up with some sort of direction for this blog in the course of January. From February, however, it´s time to begin my novel.

I´m extremely excited about the prospect of writing my very own trilogy. It´s a life-long dream come true. A month more of preparations with the settings, and then I´m as ready as I can possibly be.

I know, it´s a tough journey awaiting me. But I just know that I have to try it out, and I know that it is possible, if you only dare to try and know how to prepare yourself for the long haul.

During the last eighteen months, I have been preparing myself, my family, and my friends for a task that demands me in the seat between four to six hours a day. Every day, also holidays and weekends.

I have tried to study as much about writing in my genre, the psychological thriller, as I possibly could consume and use as inspirational lighthouses in my search for the ultimate writing achievement.

I have read a lot, and I have written a lot. Especially here on this blog have I learned to trust my inner gut feeling when it comes to writing your best.

And I have also learned that some days I write downright rotten, and it is okay and fine. Everybody makes mistakes at some point, and I better do that before I take my first steps as a writer of novels.

I feel that I owe to my audience, that includes you, dear readers and followers, to do my very best. And to do that I have tried to prepare myself for both an adventure and countless hours of hard work.

Let me say out loud a happy new year to the world. With the new vaccines, we all got a glimpse of hope for a better future. And my husband and I will accept the offer as soon as we get it.

I have decided not to look back at the crazy year of 2020. It belongs to the past now, and on this first day of the new year, I prefer to write about the positive and to leave the negative for my novels.

I have chosen to write about people when they are stressed the most, when they find themselves meeting life on uncertain terms, and when they have no other choice but to act to survive.

Not only survival in the physical aspect, but in particular to remain sane. This is where the psychological thriller knows how to intrigue its audience. And this genre is so much me.

I have a life full of mixed experiences with many different kinds of people to draw some of my inspiration from. Other sources are the ways sadly so many people seem to be behaving these years.

And I have many ideas to how I can bring my characters in danger to force them to act accordingly. But that´s for my readers later to learn. First of all, I need to write my story through.

My goal is to write a minimum of 275 words every day. That way, I will have a novel consisting of 100,000 words in a year. I believe it is a reasonable and realistic goal.

This weekend I will take a good and hard look in my calendar, so that my other passion, witchcraft, also get its fair share of my attention. I need a lot of magick in my life, also as a spiritual release in a busy everyday.

Let me finish this happy new year to the world by referring to the most beautiful words that I know. Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool.

If you happen to know the author behind such beauty, please let me know. And promise me to take good care of yourself and others. Because Covid-19 is yet to be conquered for us all. Happy New Year. So mote it be.

Picture of markito from Pixabay