Day: March 19, 2020

My healing candle is easy to make. I picked a blue candle for healing and prayed for the Universe to heal the world. And then, I lit my candle.

And I´m going to keep on doing that whenever the old candle burns out. I have a rainbow of colored candles, and why not pick a different one each time?

Then there is a daily mini-ritual to turn to, and there will be more magick here again. This will end, this will be better.

I couldn´t write about it yesterday, for I had a terrible bad day.

My thoughts went crazy, and I decided to pull the plug and sleep it away. Today, I´m back in the saddle. Better, but yet to function 100 %. I take it extremely easy. Until now, I haven´t touched the keyboard.

I have been offline and instead, a daily walk with the wise, old dog has kept my spirit up. The air smells different somehow. He is happy, with his tail curled up, and he responds with a big woof whenever I grab his leash.

Yesterday, everything became too much for me. My world quivered and I felt like shit mentally. The tears came this morning, five minutes of release. After that, the clouds faded away, and the sun made it possible to enjoy a cup of fresh coffee outside in the garden.

My husband has worked there all day. Hope, you enjoy today´s picture.

I am fighting hard these days to try to be as prepared as possible for what life may throw at me. I can control my anxiety perhaps 80 % with medication and coping strategies. The rest is up to me to handle.

And it got the best of me yesterday.

But slowly, I´m getting there. To the point where I stand on my feet again and try to make the best from everything.

It´s okay to feel vulnerable, it´s okay to need to withdraw every once in a while, and it´s okay to show it.

And I´m okay, thank you. Deep breaths, meditation for inner peace, and an honest attitude are my methods to handle long-term outer stress.

Tonight, I´m returning to my novel. The past days has not been productive at all, so now I believe that a couple of hours with fiction writing is a good way to spend the evening.

I have cut down on the news stream. I choose three specific times during the day to watch the news. In the morning, in the late afternoon, and the evening news at 9 p.m.

Between that, it has to be urgent, my focus will be on my little home school, little creative projects, and my novel. Family and friends, however, have always first priority no matter the time of day.

My personal priority is simple: to stay on my path, to remain calm, and to re-charge as often as possible.

My personal low came yesterday. And I will do what it takes to get as far away from that as possible. I don´t want to be so angry, so sad, so full of doubt, and so miserable ever again.

I just spoke to my 82 year-old father, who still think it´s safe for him to travel by bus- I love him, but he can be extremely stubborn. And I now face the fact that it may be his destiny.

I can´t do a sorry thing about it because we live many miles apart, and now is simply not the time to travel anywhere. It is all about staying home as much as possible.

So my fears went up a bit tonight. Well, there is light in the darkness, and there is darkness in the light.

My calming advice to my self is therefore to accept the things as they come. I can only change my own attitude toward what´s happening around me.

And I choose the brutally honest attitude. If my father won´t listen, it is his choice, not mine. And it is not my responsibility what he decides to do with his life.

Sometimes, life kicks you right in the face. So I decide to live my life and to work even harder to be the better me.

So, I listen to music, and I write.

The numbers are escalating in my country. The silence is remarkable, the birds are singing much clearer and louder, and there are fewer and fewer people in the streets.

It is so audible and so visible who still refuses to listen to the authorities.

I´m proud of my Prime Minister and her colleagues. They try hard to do their best. They try at least. But the most part is up to each and every one of us all.

It is troubling times, and I think it is the speed of the news stream, the big sudden changes, and the uncertainty of it all that got me yesterday.

But I´m slowly getting back in the saddle. And I light my healing candle and send all my positive thoughts and online hugs to everybody that may need it tonight. As I will it, so mote it be.