So came this day where a little seven-year-old girl went to the real school again.
Yesterday, my counselor texted and asked, if I would like a phone call today at app. eleven o´clock.
It has helped so much. My self is okay again, but they had been extremely busy, he told me. Many people have difficulty handling all the changes in the world.
During these opening days, I have decided to write daily again. It is important therapy for me, and it´s my window to the world right now.
I just bought a little something online to be happy about without ruining the budget. Could I afford it with food and medicine too, I would gladly do it.
For the world outside doesn´t attract me anymore. Except for the walks with the dog, I want to stay at home as much time as possible.
Day one began with a major nightmare that made it impossible to sleep any further this morning. Took a small nap, however, just before the phone call.
I know that I´m depressed for a time. So I take baby steps again-again. I have a thing to do before my next call Monday or Tuesday next week.
To draw a tree with the stress factors that affect my anxiety, to get close to what triggers me. It is shadow work on a deep level, trust me.
Being sensitive to all what the five senses can show up with, my stress comes from all angles, and I never know which one will hit me next.
But especially loud noises, too much going on at the same time around me, and unexpected things to consider, are my kind of triggers.
So my stress level is tougher to deal with now. Because it is an inner stress that keeps feeding my anxiety when it is most inconvenient.
It´s good to be able to put such feelings into words. It both helps me and my relatives to understand and also cope with it without going crazy.
And it is necessary to adapt as quickly and as mentally pain free as possible to the demands of this new pandemic world.
It is better today. I could enjoy my coffee in the garden with my closest family and friends. Last night I ate separately, due to me, not to them.
I also took a short nap in the afternoon, and now, after a soothing walk with the dog without any signs of anxiety, I trust that the evening will be quite alright.
My goal for tomorrow is to do the chores before I begin writing or planning my next ritual. Perhaps I will succeed this time.
I have had a long period now with depression, I think. The process has been slow, but surely. And therefore, I fight back as soon as possible.
My many minor anxiety attacks have been a shadow to the real problem. I need to be better to handle my depressive side.
Today, I write myself out of it, tomorrow, I´ll work through it. And soon there is to be a witchcraft ritual again.
Day one may have begun in a truly bad way, but the remains of it seems to be okay and tolerable.
In the news, they´re discussing a further re-opening of society, but today I say so what, if they want to dance with the virus, let them.
We can only do what we do already, wash our hands, use rubbing alcohol often, and maintain the social distancing.
And that is exactly what we´ll do here.
So, I follow the news on a distance now. It is necessary to remain calm and assured that everything will be okay again, some day, but no more when.
One thing is for sure, this virus has not shown its full potential yet. And this will last many more years to come, for all the economic aid from the government has to be payed back sometime.
There will be bankruptcies, more casualties, and more uncertainty for so long a period of time that we might as well adapt to the new circumstances now.
Living with anxiety has become excruciating real, and it takes a lot more work than even I thought it would when I finished almost 3 years of therapy last year.
But it is also so liberating to be so open about it. It sort of takes the feeling of immediate danger out of it. And, if my words happens to be of any help to others, my goals are met.
So, see you tomorrow, dear readers and followers. And keep up the good spirit, we are together in all this, only physically apart.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 