On a quiet summer evening, it is soothing and relaxing to know that my GP agreed on a higher dose of anxiety medicine. For I know it will help me conquer my anxiety sooner or later.
Day nine with this dose, and only a few attempts to shake my world has been the direct effect. I have also slept markedly better, and I feel I have a little more energy for the things I love to do.
The weather changed abruptly yesterday. Yet another rainy and cold day after more than a week with the temperature of summer all day long. I feel instantly the change in my lower back.
So I have been busy recovering from devilish back pain that comes and goes as it pleases. It´s been a while without back problems. Usually, my knees are making the greatest spectacle.
On a quiet summer evening, it feels comfortable to write about the little things in life that often matter the most. No shaking all over the body, no increased heartbeat, and no fight to keep calm and relax.
To me, to be free from anxiety is bliss. I have been fighting it for so long now that it almost feels as were I on a long-term vacation. Knowing that the trees don´t grow into heaven for a reason, I´m content for now.
This weekend, I will use my newfound energy on creating a beautiful Full Moon ritual for Tuesday next week, on a new painting, and on the work with my novel that has been postponed long enough now.
Tonight, I will relax the whole evening doing as little as possible. Then I know that tomorrow will be just as I want it to be. Filled with sparkling creativity, happy laughter, and deep conversations.
On a quiet summer evening, a thunderstorm is lurking in the clouds coming from the west. It just cycles around us, as would it tell us who is the most powerful.
With a little luck, there will be fresh rainwater to collect tomorrow morning. To be used in sacred witchcraft rituals and to water the house plants.
I need to go through my witchcraft supplies once more. I have bought a few things that need to go into my inventory list. Or else I risk to forget about them due to the fact that I could easily open an old curiosity shop.
I literally have everything I need and even more so. I feel privileged, but I also earned most of it by hard work, years of deprivation, and tears. It is my fortune, but nothing comes without a price.
On a quiet summer evening, I think of my ancestors and bow my head in gratitude. I think of my rainbow family and my friends and smile. I´m happy and content with my life.
I met the outside world yesterday at the hairdresser´s. It was okay, but I was happy to be home shortly after. I´m not changing my behavior, I still take my strict precautions when in public.
Soon, we are to get out and buy new clothes. I need to prepare myself thoroughly, for I don´t feel safe for long in the outside world. And I´m not sure whether that feeling is permanent or at least of long-term duration.
But I know it will be without risk of anxiety attacks because I will use every strategy available on the day, including prescription medicine. I´m definitely not a fan of medicine, unless it is necessary.
It helps me, however. And so it is, then I will use that strategy too. May your weekend be anxiety free, blissful, and memorable, dear readers and followers.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 