Sitting on the couch in my living room on an on and off sunny early afternoon, I feel comfortable and safe. I´m home where I prefer to be, and that not only due to a pandemic.
Denmark raises the number of people allowed to gather together tomorrow to fifty people, and all indoor sports activities are included. There are to be many more little by little re-openings.
From my window to the world, it is a great experiment where many things can and will go wrong. And I know we have to begin somewhere. But I still believe it´s just the silence before the storm.
The weather forecast speaks of heavy rains and regular cloudbursts for this afternoon. I´m awaiting the storm with calm in my body, mind, and soul. For the rain will soothe my thoughts of the outside world.
To a point where it doesn´t matter so much. I need not go anywhere if I don´t feel ready for that. But eventually, I will do it. With the strictest of precautions, for I don´t trust people that easily.
From my window to the world, I have my good reasons for such a statement. I have known many different people, but always ended up only trusting a minimal few besides myself.
The human factor is the most unpredictable fact to consider when speaking about leaving my home and entering society in a larger scale than I´m used to for months.
So when we plan the day when we go shopping for new clothes, it will be early in the morning, shortly after the shop has opened, for I want to go when there are as few people as possible in the streets.
And it will be a quick and efficient visit. I don´t want to be out there for longer than I have to. No, this is my refuge, my sanctuary. Here I feel for the first time in my life that I belong. This is home. This is bliss.
Living quite isolated makes me feel secure. I have been around many people a lot of my time earlier in life, and now this simple, yet complicated lifestyle suits me best.
Here I thrive, I grow mentally and emotionally, and I live my life. Enjoy every day as were it my very last one. Always keen on learning new tricks along the path, for who said that an old dog cannot be taught.
My sweet little, wise, old dog knows how to shake paws, can sit on his behind with his front paws high up in the air, and can still mark an area as his own with great enthusiasm.
And can he, so can I learn new tricks. One of them is to remain in control of my anxiety disorder, so that it doesn´t control me instead. And until now, the medicine has done its part.
I´m mentally released. At least for a while, as this pandemic continues to turn everything upside down. I notice the behavior of other people, and I take my strict precautions. Then no one can do more.
Besides, it is becoming so rare an event that I leave my local area for very long periods of time. I have no need for it, unless it is for buying new clothes, as Mother Nature changes, so doesmy body.
Being fifty years old, I´m happy and content with my looks, my life, and my path of writing and witchcraft. But occasionally, the old clothes need to be replaced by something more practical and comfortable.
But I´m confident that it will be a good trip, once it is well over and done with. Because I know then that it will be another good long while before yet another trip to the outside world.
From my window to the world, today is dedicated to writing some leftover notes that need to go into my Book of Shadows. To planning a Full Moon ritual, and to re-read my material for my novel until now.
The painting must wait until tomorrow, for my arthritis and my mood are to finish some loose ends rather than beginning new projects. So it is with plans and ideas. Sometimes it is a go, other times it is a no.
Today is no to racism in every form, no to stupid people doing stupid things, and no to do more than absolutely necessary all day long. But it is a yes to life as it comes, with all its blessings and challenges.
I´m leaving my window to the world for now. The remains of the evening will be spent being as comfortable as possible, doing what I love the most, and thinking on nothing and everything at the same time.
Now that the medicine is back on track, the thundering, racing thoughts are present, however silent. I don´t mind them in the present moment, and they haven´t been annoying me for almost two weeks now.
Freedom has come instead. Freedom from anxiety and feeling of constant stress. I want this to continue, so I will work with it in my Full Moon ritual on Tuesday.
And with these words, dear readers and followers, I will wish you a productive, life-enriching and happy week. I will be back on Friday to let you know how everything´s going around my spot on Mother Earth.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 