It´s demanding more than ever to handle anxiety. I should have produced a short story for today. But life caught up with the better me. I´m still recovering from two major and recent attacks.
It feels like an unpredictable volcano that erupts at random. It used to be a roller coaster on the loose, now I get the image of aftershocks after major earthquakes as well.
Living in a changing world is different this summer. I take my strict precautions when in public, and I avoid places with too many people to distract myself from.
There are plans for a couple of trips outside my home and garden, but I definitely have no haste experiencing that just yet. I thrive at home, and I am grateful that it is possible this way
My anxiety is trying to manipulate me into uncontrollable fear. But I fight every inch back as it hits me daily this week. I may be slower, may accomplish less than desired, and may sound brutally honest.
However hard the anxiety tries to knock me down, I always come back up, and then I´m more durable, more fit for fight, and less vulnerable. Today, I decided to take a longer afternoon nap than I use to do.
To get some extra sleep on a day with many little, but nonetheless extremely annoying attacks, as were the devil himself chasing me around and out of proportion.
Therefore, I write like in a diary-style today. I´m off the news for the remains of the day, for I don´t need more thrill in my life than I get from working with my novels.
And honestly, I don´t need more stories about people acting like crazy just because they think they can act as they please with no regard to other people- It is highly inappropriate behavior, and there are no excuses.
Living in a changing world is not unusual, as change is inevitable and something we always have to adapt to. But today, it feels best to stay at home as much as possible, for the outside world doesn´t appeal to me.
I prefer the simple yet complicated life that I live here with my husband, our dog and cats, and our family and friends next door. Therefore, I will work with my new addition to my Book of Shadows instead.
Then, my mind won´t play tricks with me, the anxiety is kept at bay, and I get to relax in body, soul, and spirit. At the same time, I have a beautiful view to the garden here from my creative den.
I´m working with a miniature Book of Shadows, consisting of only one notebook with the most essential correspondences and practical information about my kind of witchcraft.
It is easier to use daily for the many mini-rituals I intend to create with the coming of Fall. Now I have a thorough overview of what I already have at hand.
Together with my new spellbook, it will become my new best friend when it comes to planning spells and rituals. I plan to create many more solitary rituals because I feel the time is right for that.
Usually, my husband and a few close friends attend my significant rituals like the Sabbaths or the celebration of the Moon´s phases. And they will continue doing that, I just need more of it during all this.
My witchcraft practice and my writing are such a blessing in my life. Here I can be as creative as I feel the need to be, here I find myself in my safe haven, and here I attain an inner calm that is essential to me.
The novel-writing part of me is on hold at the moment. I write down ideas and allow them to mature by leaving them alone for a while. Then I will return to the keyboard or pen and paper.
I can see now that my first goal of producing a whole novel before December 31, 2020, needs re-organizing. I will have perhaps one-quarter of my estimated novel-length at that time.
But goals tend to work best for me when they are flexible and adaptable to whatever happens in my life. These weeks, the anxiety is keeping me from concentrating enough to work with anything but ideas and thoughts.
Living in a changing world is challenging, hard work, and demanding to adapt to. Especially when you don´t know what will happen next. So, days without stories about crazy people are the better days.
I´m also getting tired mentally of the tendency to claim that only some lives matter. All life matters, why is that so difficult to grasp? And it only makes things worse to destroy property, hurt people, and being stubborn.
That´s sadly the outside world of today. People fight more, people do more stupid things, and people care less about each other. Therefore, I collect positive stories to stay sane during a time of chaos.
Inspiration for my books is plenty at this time in the world. I write about the dark sides of the human factor in my novels. The positive sides are getting rare, but they are there if you just care to look for them.
And one positive thing is that I, in a moment, will return to my work with the miniature Book of Shadows that is my preferred work these weeks with anxiety as a most unwelcome guest.
So, I will wish you, dear readers and followers, a pleasant weekend. Perhaps there is a short story next Friday, I will do my best nevertheless. Blessed be.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 