After the celebration of a sweet child´s birthday it is time to relax and enjoy the feelings from a good experience in good company. It is time to do as little as possible, and it is time to live life to its fullest.
Here at my little sacred spot, my creative Self contemplates a new drawing to do tonight. Began yesterday with a biker theme, a pin-up, and a Crab for my Zodiac sign, Cancer.
I have a close friend who creates beautiful pieces of art and gladly helps me improve my techniques. This is the drawing course I never took the time and the effort to enjoy.
Before now that is. We also get to meet both at mine and her place. And I´m awaiting the next session that is scheduled for tonight. Where the theme is cartoons, and my choice is the Aristocats from Disney.
So, on a late Sunday afternoon, I´m in my happy mood, everything looks just fine, and the only clouds are outside beyond my control. For once, I´m able to write about the many positive things in my life.
First, I´m so grateful for my husband and our life together. Without him, I would be so utterly lost. He is the light of my life, my one and only, and the best friend a woman could wish for.
Second, I´m so lucky to have friends for life, who stay and help also in the darkest of hours, who are willing to talk about both the highs and the lows of the everyday, and who I know I always can trust.
And third, I´m so happy to live in a very special rainbow family, where a word is a word, where we stand together no matter what, and where we help each other up again after a longer dive of depression.
On a late Sunday afternoon, life feels kind of great right now. Looking out to the outside world is necessary, but in small doses only. Things are going the wrong way in Denmark.
And I think it won´t be long before the next lockdown. Why people are behaving so careless, I have given up trying to understand. I shake my head and take my strict precautions anyway.
And I will keep on trucking as long as it takes. I have also come to the ultimate conclusion about my anxiety and my bipolar disorder. They will not conquer me, and I dare them to face me.
I will be more than ready to fight back the hard way, inch by inch. Now, I truly understand how much my hard work is paying off right now. It is worth every tear, every inner boxing match.
I have wanted for so long for the spark of creativity, and now my Muse is back for real. I use my drawing to calm myself down, and it is both fun and thoughtful to experience what shadows actually can do.
Then a drawing become almost alive, and I want to do a lot more of that. I have already many plans, so I´m careful to choose the ones best suited for me.
My ritual will have to wait a little longer, though. I write and I draw. For now, that´s more than enough to me. But I will work with my ritual nevertheless in the coming week.
And by waiting for the right time, I also get enough time to really go in-depth and create something special. The right time is soon, perhaps in a week or two.
It all depends on whether my mood remains stable. But I think it will due to my strict control with what I want in life. I want to be happy, to be creative, and to be brutally honest about my disorders.
It is hard work for the rest of my life. But it is possible to live a good life with anxiety and bipolar disorder. And I learn so much about myself and I understand so much more how my loved ones feel.
It is not a question about whose fault it is. It is not an excuse to become overtaken by apathy, and it is a duty of honor to try to do your very best every single day and night in this life.
On a late Sunday afternoon, it is a privilege to be the better me again. I have everything I need close by, I feel better, and I´m freed from racing thoughts.
So I feel confident that this Fall will bring lots of positive experiences and also lots of difficult challenges. But we face it all together here, so come on life, throw us at the wolves, and we´ll come back ruling them.
Now it is time for a long hot bath, and to relax and wait for tonight´s drawing session. May tomorrow bring happiness, inner peace, health, and kindness to us all wherever we are.
So mote it be.
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