I have been a fighter for as long as I can remember. I´m capable of fighting for my well-being and for the sake of my loved ones. So, I have spent about 2 weeks now fighting myself back into a better mood.
I´m trying to trigger my mind into changing lanes so that I can draw on my creative energies, which lie in the higher end on the scale between flying oh so liberating high and diving oh so depressingly low.
Despite attempts from my anxiety and my bipolar disorder to draw me back down into the too well-known feeling of inadequacy, despair, and loneliness. I don´t have time for any kind of negativity whatsoever right now.
26 days from now, I begin on the journey from wannabe writer to a full-time job writing my own material between four and six hours daily. And I pray that my mood will change soon enough to make it a reality rather than a dream.
It helps a lot that Spring is here. I just observed a pair of pigeons fluttering their wings around a nearby tree. A friend of mine has told me that it is a sign of the coming of Spring.
The weather is fair but icy cold, as the temperature has dropped over the last couple of hours from a pleasant 10 degree Celsius to chilly 1 degree Celsius. So, staying inside is the preferable solution for me today.
Everything´s just fine by me, though. My mood is slowly but surely changing lanes, and I can feel it won´t be long before my creative mood sets the agenda again. With great care, it is possible to trigger my mind at a much faster pace than now.
But I know already by now that I´ll need to work with my notes for quite some time before they are ready for use. It doesn´t stop me from embarking on the next step of my writing journey.
My sweet husband has been busy preparing the garden for Spring, and the first Spring flowers have already shown their beauty. The birds are chirping loud when we are on the daily walk with the little wise, old dog.
And I feel truly at home here at my little paradise where even a pandemic era can´t change our way of living. It has to do with the world outside which we avoid as much as possible.
I have everything I need right beside me; if not, I can walk a few feet to my creative room or my witch´s den for inspiration and necessary props and gear. I plan to sit and write a lot in my witch´s den that needs a little preparation first.
But that is for the time after the next Sabbath in the Wheel of the Year, Ostara, which will be both beautiful and strong. It is time to bless the seeds and the plants in the garden. And it is time to create a ritual of wellness, too.
The planning begins next week. I need to clean and clean my witch´s den first, for it has been left a bit to itself recently due to my amount of notes for my writing project. It has taken me a long time to do my research.
Changing lanes is never an easy task. I´m drained at the moment, but I still prefer to work from late afternoon until very late at night. I´m a night owl, and so it is. The worst part right now is the feeling of inner turmoil and constant restlessness.
There is nothing to do but keep on fighting to become the better me. Therefore, I push hard to keep myself sitting in the chair behind the keyboard. And it works. I may not achieve as much as I want to. I may have to get more breaks than usual.
And I may sleep more after a writing session. But I get in the chair every day. I work my way through tons of material for my novels. And little by little, I´m getting closer to realizing my life´s dream of becoming a writer.
I can see that the number of followers grows. So, welcome to new readers, I hope that you´ll feel at home here. And do feel free to comment. How is life right now where you are? How are you doing in a pandemic era? And what´s on your mind?
With these words, I send you positive karma, a lot of thoughts, and online hugs, dear readers and followers. May the Sun shine strong, may happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness be the new must. And may changing lanes feel less wobbly.
So mote it be.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 