The day before a ritual is my preferred day of planning it. Tomorrow, my husband and I celebrate the Ostara Sabbath in The Wheel of the Year. Turning Spring, the weather behaves, however icy, piercing cold it feels.
The Sun shows its power to become the strongest force of Nature by bathing us in pure joy and warmth. But the harsh, so cool wind reminds us that Spring is a balance between cold and warm aspects of life and death.
It is about letting go of what no longer serves us and about caring for the new, now sprouting seeds and bulbs in the gardens of our hands and minds. It is a time to renew, to refresh, and to revitalize our lives. And it is to be a simple, yet beautiful ritual.
I´m warming up in here today, for my hands ache from the arthritis, I needed a longer creative break from the preparation efforts for my novels, and my mind is too thoughtful to work with magick just yet.
Therefore, without further notice, welcome, Spring Equinox.
It is with equal parts of pure happiness and humbleness that I present you, dear readers and followers, for the best possible version of me. I have succeeded in conquering myself once again. My bipolar friend bow its head in silent respct.
The price, for oh yes, it has it hard fought price, and it is an almost overwhelming feeling of being so, so tired, to the bone and back. But it is worth the trouble, for my mood has changed for the faster, the more creative, and the feel-good lane.
Today, I don´t worry about being bipolar at all. I know my limitations very well indeed, my medication and my therapy run smoothly, and I have a great counselor who also keeps me up to date with how to become my own creative director.
But I also know by now that I´m more than capable to keep myself under strict control, to stop up and breathe deeply from time to time, and to let go and relax as often as necessary.
And I´m so happy, so proud, and so content that my creative muse has returned from a severe winter mandatory stay in Limboland. I have waited long for the new project to take off.
In just 12 days from now, I embark on an unknown journey, the journey of my lifetime. April 1, 2021, will be the first day I will write my novels, this time for real and for good.
I have lots of work yet to conquer alongside the writing of my first novel. I need material for a trilogy, and I can only focus on one novel at a time, although I know that I can´t help but work on all three at once.
My main focus right now is to finish my notes for the first novel, so that I won´t have to lock up any new research but can concentrate one hundred percent on the task of writing a first draft worth dealing with later as well.
And the Spring Equinox comes as a bliss today. I believe that I need a longer break from my preparations, especially on a thoughtful day, with racing thoughts and a the mix of being physically tired but mentally refreshed.
And then life just happened…
I had to take pain killers before I could finish this post. My lower back hurt like going through hell and back. So I apologize for being somewhat late tonight, actually it is Ostara day now.
I slept for a couple of hours, got up, finished my ritual planning. And now I sit here once again, ready to fight back every inch of the way. So, welcome Spring Equinox. In a few hours from now, our ritual will take place in my witch´s den.
I´m much better now, thank you dear Universe. Here, at my favorite hour of the night, everything is quiet around me, both the little wise, old dog and two of the philosophical cats are sound asleep. My husband and cat number three sleep upstairs.
It is a time for reflection, for some serious hard work again, and for recovery from pain killers that I only use out of pure necessity. At least, I´m able to sit fairly comfortable now, which definitely was not an opportunity a couple of hours ago.
Allow me to count my blessings tonight and to wish for the world to come to its senses and cooperate for once. Yesterday, my father told me he will get his first shot of vaccine on Monday. Not the AstraZeneca, it is still on hold in Denmark due to recent problems.
I know now that the mood has changed for the better. It is a tough ride to deal with a bipolar the way I do. And to do it, it is necessary to be in good balance with a combination of correct individual medication, therapy, and counseling.
But I just know that everything will be fine for a longer period of time again. I had to do something about my depressive side. My novel needs me to be mentally fit for writing between four to six hours a day for a whole year in just 11 days from now.
My creative writing den has been redecorated this week. A good and thorough clean-up, fresh paint on the walls, Spring tulips in a vase, then I´m getting ready for take-off soon. And a long awaited ritual about to begin in a few hours.
Today´s picture is symbolic of my constant inner battle with my bipolar disorder. This time I won the round, however rough the ride may be. The price is being tired for about a week in a row.
But to regain my feeling of personal freedom, no fight is too tough to deal with. I prefer being tired for a couple of days to being depressed and in the low mood. So, welcome Spring Equinox, welcome to the Goddess of Spring, Ostara.
May your weekend be filled with bliss, dear readers and followers. Blessed be.
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