This week has been blissful, free from trouble whatsoever. The mornings I have spent with my other neighbor, an old friend with whom we have reconnected lately. We know each other from another time, another place.
We are Crones with a significant C. We have seen it all, heard even more, so we know what we want and do not want in our life. What we don´t want is easy to describe. We don´t want toxic people. We don´t want bullshit of any kind, pardon my French. And we don´t want trouble from the outside world.
What we want, yes, that is what truly matters. We want a peaceful and quiet life. We want honest, trustworthy people around us. And we want to be creative with what we already got. She would say keep on trucking and stay positive when the shit hits the fan.
We had to cut the bonds to our closest neighbor next door, whose lifestyle and attitude ha changed in a way that no longer corresponds with what we want to deal with in our lives. And yes, it hurts. A lot. But it is necessary to remain sane and true to ourselves.
I´m almost recovered from my operation. The next hurdle is a meeting next Thursday with my counselor and my social worker. It is time for the once-a-year discussion about renewing my grant to have a counselor from the social psychiatry unit.
I hate such meetings. It feels like preparing for an exam, and I have done my fair share of that already, thank you. But it will pass perfectly. It is just this itchy, uncanny feeling of being examined by somebody who only knows me from what is possible to write in a file.
But I keep on trucking, and after a couple of weeks without writing on my novels, I´m hungry after the rush of feelings after a writing session. So, I probably will continue the work from tomorrow. I was supposed to begin Monday this week.
However, my body, mind, and soul let me know that it was too soon, that I needed more time off just to be me, and that the story needed some space as well. To keep practicing to write every day, I have 3 journal prompts for every day of the year.
If I feel that I cannot write for some reason, I turn to these prompts, and more often than never I end up writing my heart out shortly after. Now, I have had plenty of time to think my novels through, and I´m more than ready to take up the challenge and write again.
This weekend, I will be preparing myself for another trip no the outside world. This time it is all about flowers for my husband´s garden. It will be with the old, experienced girls again. But it will be a satisfactory experience, I´m sure of that.
Looking out at the world, it seems crazier than ever. People keep behaving terribly. I must admit that I simply don´t understand this eternal desire to live in the past. So many complain about necessary restrictions. We can´t do as we please; therefore, we act stupid to be heard and seen.
I stay at home a much as possible. When out, I take my precautions and avoid crowded areas at times where many people gather around. And I follow the guidelines and do my best to remain healthy. So, when I learn about stupidity, I frown and shake my head.
How difficult is it to cooperate and to help each other? A lot, apparently. But some people just never seem to learn. Therefore, I´m always cautious around the human factor. I may trust myself and a few others. Still, I most certainly don´t trust everybody, especially not in times of trouble in today´s world.
I use mycreative talents to divert myself from all the negativity. Right now, I´m decorating a wooden box that I bought recently. It is for my new set of Tarot cards that I will print out and paint myself. It is a creative goal that I can achieve in the living room with my husband and our sweet animals.
It isn´t greasy, it doesn´t make any noise, and it is something cozy to work with while my husband watches the TV. I have become extremely critical of what I want to watch, so I often do creative projects rather than watch anything. Besides, I only miss retransmissions.
The weather gods are ill-humored these days. Cloudy sky and ferocious outburst of rain showers relieved only by few rays of the healing Sun is their recipe for fun. Well, dear Universe, it is so much about the time that they change their mind. It has been grayish long enough now.
My husband is a bit edgy because the bad weather doesn´t appeal when the need for gardening arises. And everybody just wants sunshine and coffee in the yard. But the forecasts predict no changes for some time to come. Boo, you weather gods, it ain´t fair, do better, if you please.
This weekend, I want to write and be creative with every fiber in my soul. I need to tidy up my creative den because it will be the setting for the Thursday meeting next week. And I can´t work with any mess around me. Chaos only creates more confusion in my mind with racing thoughts and anxiety.
So that and some creativity is for tomorrow. Sunday, yes, that will be a great day for writing. But today, I will keep on trucking to the best of my abilities. Beginning shortly with me grabbing some delicious ice cream, cuddling up on the couch, having fun with my little family.
Let me finish this blog post by wishing you a blessed weekend, dear readers and followers. May the Sun touch you, may the Moon guide you. And may this world stop the senseless fighting and arguing and begin growing up. So mote it be.
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