Thursday this week, my husband and I got our second shot of the Pfizer vaccine. I´m equally grateful for and thoughtful about feeling just a little bit secure.
I search for mindfulness, enlightenment, and inner peace in a world of deep insecurity, social unrest, and severe consequences of human activity on Mother Earth.
Here in Denmark, most people are acting as if the virus has left us for good. But we hang on to being extremely cautious when out in society. And I´m getting better and better at letting the news have its own life.
I do care, I´m deeply concerned, I worry. But I still got the opportunity to choose how much I let it affect my daily life and mental condition. So if it is close to us, if it is necessary to act now, and if it is something to take notice of sooner rather than later, then I listen and act.
If not, I still listen, but I let my frustrations flow with the creative flow in creating something beautiful and valuable as a direct contrast to what I can´t change, however much I can´t accept it.
Yesterday, I hurt. A lot. My arthritis and chronic pain nearly drove me off the edge, so that I had to turn to pain killers to get through the day. My mood needs to change soon as well. Therefore, I didn´t write a blog post.
Today, thank you, dear Universe, is so much better, though, concerning the level of pain.
I´m a bit slower than usual, but it is okay Self.
The extras in my novels, the sidekicks, and the main characters jump up and down to be written. I have trouble enough already concentrating due to my bipolar disorder. Thank you so much. Not.
I need to take charge of this business as soon as possible. So my plan is to completely clear my desk except for my laptop along with paper and pens. Then I will be trying the art of plotting because now I really need to keep focusing on a character-driven story rather than the external action for a long while.
I think the issue is that I want to create everything at once, which is simply impossible. I have the novels in my mind, but getting them down onto paper, that´s a totally different thing.
But after writing this blog post, I believe that I´m capable of working a couple of hours with the prologue and chapter one in my first novel. Then my hands will be warmed enough up to write something worth reading more than just once.
Yesterday was great in a different way. We went to our local market with two friends of the good old-fashioned kind. My husband found two more witch dolls for my witch´s den. In today´s pictures, you´ll be able to spot some of them. I have 15 in total now. Collecting continues.
Fully vaccinated and business almost as usual, I´m feeling better than in the past three weeks. I´m working hard to change it back to my preferred mood, which is the total opposite of how I´m battling myself on the inside.
Only I and my loved ones genuinely learn the implications of a bipolar disorder combined with anxiety. So I´m eagerly awaiting a call from my new counselor, whom I have yet to meet in person. Right now, my therapy consists of a diversion from even the slightest signs of negativity, rest, and iron will.
My latest Tarot card reading when celebrating Lammas, the first harvest festival, indicated hard work ahead. Of course, that´s not news to me, but I take it into consideration nevertheless.
A long warm hot bath later in the afternoon or early evening will be a life-affirming experience, as my body is pretty tired after a day of annoying pain on impractical parts, like, e.g., the ribs, the hips, and the knees with different levels of pain, of course, and certainly not synchronized.
Something delicious to eat, a cozy arrangement with lots of pillows and blankets on the couch after a good writing session, and peace and quiet in my body, mind, and soul in the evening. Those are my goals for today.
This week brought beauty in its raw context, too. My 83-year-old father wrote me an email that I´ll keep forever. He praised me, wrote between the lines that he was proud, and it inspired me. My husband brought me socks just before I sat down to write this.
And my dear friends, both close to me and around the globe, are also part of my big extended rainbow family.
Writing through my little window to the world is, as always, an incredible journey to be lucky enough to experience in this life of mine.
This weekend, I will try to work my way through my latest creative diversion. I have a black canvas, stones from a life of collections, and paint, other innovative materials, and an idea. About a man walking his dog with a rainbow on a sunny, shiny, beautiful day.
I plan to use crystals to create contrasting shadows. And so my project becomes a witchy thing as well.
However, how much I will be able to work with it depends on the level of arthritis pain in my hands. It really annoys me because it sometimes halters even the smallest of plans. The afternoon I spent laying down on my couch, trying to sleep some of the pain away.
But at least I can transport my canvas project from my creative den to my creative desk in our former dining area. Perhaps, with a bit of luck as well, I might paint the central rainbow in all seven colors, which, by the way, are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.
May your weekend be blessed with sunshine, freedom from pain and trouble, and beautiful memories for life. As we will it, so mote it be. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.
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