Day: October 17, 2021

Many things have changed in the past five years.

Five years ago, I lost my beautiful classic car. In the very early morning of October 17, 2016, it was stolen and burnt to ashes.

Today, I mark the day after five years of hoping not to receive yet another call from the police. I have absolutely no wish whatsoever to risk meeting those who did this. Why waste time meeting someone whose life is meaningless to me?

Meaningless because what they did that morning was meaningless.

Five years ago, the result was a lot of trouble with paperwork, seven months of still worsening mania, and almost also a lost marriage had it not been for our deep and lasting love for one another.

Today, we are happy, soon celebrating our copper wedding, which in the Danish tradition happens when you have been married for twelve and a half years. I´m married to my best friend, the love of my life, and the best man I could have chosen.

Full of meaning because what we do together makes sense and feels like the right thing to do.

Five years ago, we changed our lifestyle permanently. By moving to a new place, by working hard to obtain our goals of becoming economically independent, and by trying to find light in the world of darkness, we managed to come as far as we are now.

Today, it is a good day. We released all the sorrow, the pain, and the disbelief over a beautiful bonfire in the garden together with good people.

May those who ruined my car always remember their meaningless behavior. I forgive them, but I´ll never forget what they did that morning five years ago.

So mote it be.

In contrast to meaninglessness, I´ll begin working with my ritual for the upcoming Samhain Sabbath in two weeks.

It will take me considerable time to plan it. But, this year, it needs to be something special, something old mixed with something new, and something suitable for a celebration of my first five years as a witch.

Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again. These words will begin and end my ritual.

And, of course, there will be plenty of my own stuff as well. Two or three creative spells followed up with prayers and positive intentions for the Universe to consider.

A tarot spread, a garden blessing, and all the good stuff out of cabinets, drawers, and other hiding places around our home.

Five years ago, I took my first insecure step as a witch. I was scared to pieces; I did not know where to begin, and I could not decide my path for life.

Today, I love witchcraft and the idea of working with solid energies, crystals, Tarot cards, and practically everything else as well. I´m a grey witch, meaning that I will defend myself and my loved ones if need be.

Five years ago, I became a witch, a path that I have tried to find all my life. It happened on October 31, 2016, right after the incident with my car. I searched for a path of meaning rather than cleaning up after someone else´s mess.

Today, I´m happy and content that witchcraft is a significant part of our life. My husband participates in most of my rituals. Together, we share the magick of the atmosphere in my witch´s den during them.

Five years ago, I spent a lot of time studying the old Craft, working my solitary way through tons of new materials as well as the old stuff when available.

Today, I practice more than I study. My own practice has become a study in itself with no more than five ring binders, dozens of notebooks, and hundreds of handwritten notes.

For the remains of the day, it is all about diverting my thoughts, being creative with what I already have, and relaxing as much as possible.

The case with my old car is now cold. As it should be after five years of waiting to feel entirely free. I have been punished enough mentally due to the incident with my car.

I´m also slowly but surely adjusting to my shift in mood. The quiet side is here, ready to take charge. But I won´t let it, and I´ll work hard to get better soon.

I just need to take things at my own slower pace until I find my light in the darkness of bipolar disorder.

Five years ago, I had my worst manic period ever. Today, it´s controlled by medication and life-long therapy.

My GP prescribed me something that I simply can´t use. It is sedative, takes care of mania only, and has severe side effects that won´t benefit me.

I need to talk with him tomorrow, and I´m tired in my mind already. I´m disappointed that he is willing to give me something that will kill my creativity. Still, he won´t prescribe any pain killers due to their side effects.

It simply doesn´t fit together in my point of view. But I won´t let it ruin my weekend.

Now, it is time to be merry and grateful for my life.

Five years ago, my life was miserable in chaos. Today, I´m proud that I have come so far that I can release my feelings about my beautiful car, now a lasting memory in my soul.

I found an old photo when my car was still beautiful. I think it is appropriate to show it today, five years after it was destroyed by meaninglessness.

May today mark my mental progress, may my old car drive my loved ones on the other side of the veil, and may something so devastating never happen to anyone anymore.

Five years ago, a new path proved its worth. In two weeks, I will have been practicing as a witch for five years. It began as a desperate attempt to find meaning in chaos. Now it is a full-time dedication.

As we will it, so it is.