Day: February 6, 2022

And vice versa. One would not exist without the other. This week is the best possible proof of that.

My depressive side is back, yet everything feels fine. I ascribe it to my hard-earned knowledge about my bipolar disorder, from years without the proper combination of prescription medicine and therapy to happy days, weeks, months, and now, also years.

It comes from my backing, from my sweet husband, my beloved family, and my dear, dear friends. Without them, I´m nothing.

And I´m in the process of slow recovery from life so very different from any standard that I can think of.

In the darkness, there is light.

Oh yes, how do you describe the fact that someone close to you gave you a large sum of money, simply because they wanted to, for they really, really care about you?

It is a big secret for anyone else to know, as the same miracle will happen to their own grownup kids in weeks from now.

Then, the ability to sit tight and shut up indeed resonates in my body, mind, and soul. But it will be alright to whisper it here, on this blog of magickal writing.

I can only describe this week as enchanting, magickal, and wonderful. Finally, I managed to “land” my depressive side without usual trouble and toil.

It feels like hovering all over your Self, to slowly come closer and closer down to the ground from way above in the soaring skies.

I prefer that to the often hectic and anxiety-provoking episodes, where there is an abyss to conquer before acceptance of the inevitable becomes pure strength and power of an iron will.

But a lot has happened since last Spring. These new connections in my life, they have opened doors to paradise on Mother Earth.

For that, I´m grateful.

What I appreciate the most is the priceless honesty, the selfless community work, and the innate sense of decency between human beings.

The latter, perhaps the rarest kind of positive human behavior, can´t be bought for any amount of money.

This is what we have been lucky enough to meet and embrace in our life. A small flock of good people, oh yes, friends of the rarest possible kind; the ones you keep for good and forever.

In the darkness, there is light.

On the negative platform, well, being somewhat hit by depression, my pen may be slightly sharper than usual. And to speak frankly, I´m annoyed at my counselor, who didn´t contact me at all this week. At least, she or her employer could have texted me, and I wouldn´t have wasted practically a whole day from waiting and feeling annoyed.

So, I have decided to not text or call her until I hear from her again. This time, probably with my new-new counselor, who I will meet soon, as she and my present counselor will alternately visit me in the future.

Well, I´m not thrilled about it, but that is the term for that kind of help. And for the service, I´m more than grateful, however uphill shifts in counselors may feel.

Another upcoming issue is the transition from one lousy public digital solution to another, just as hopeless and really annoying as the present.

I will need to go to a public office and ask for help with that. And to do it, it is demanded that I book beforehand.

If I don’t do it, I won´t get access to my bank online anymore. But, what the heck, it has to be done, and so be it. It is annoying nevertheless.

But, besides that, everything feels fine, although I´m in a depressive state right now. Everything takes a little longer to handle, and the distance to the tears is shorter and much more abrupt.

I´m prepared for it, I know what strategies to use when needed, and I don´t dive as deep or soar as high as before.

I still feel the transitions, though, oh yes, way too much for my taste. That´s the most challenging part for me to accept living with bipolar disorder and anxiety as blind passengers in an otherwise fairytale life.

In the darkness, there is light.

My diagnosis speaks of mixed episodes, the type where you can be happy and sorrowful in the exact same moment, often several times a day for weeks or even months.

Right now, this is a significant advantage for me, as I´m able to push myself to the limit and sometimes beyond so that I generate just enough manic energy to function almost as usual.

My husband and I enjoyed a beautiful and calming Imbolc ritual Wednesday, on Groundhog Day. My altar, you can see on today´s picture.

I have now a jar with salt and seven bay leaves on my windowsill, my way of calling for Spring to come soon.

But I need to do some serious Spring cleaning around my home, especially in my Witch´s Den. First, I must finish a brand new miniature rocking chair made from clothespins, a piece of lace from an old curtain, and a few rhinestones. Its destination is a friend´s house. Then, I will have to do a thourough cleaning in my Witch´s Den and in my creative hotspots.

My week will be as busy as this year has been so far, almost from day one on the calendar. I haven´t been so sociable for as long as I can remember.

So it is really true. There is light in the darkness and vice versa. As it should be to me. Without the contrasts, how should I know my Self as it really is?

May your week be blessed with love and friendships, the good kind of people, and freedom from whatever makes you annoyed, dear readers and followers.

May the promise of the coming of Spring soon come true.

And may my depression lift to more comfortable heights as soon as possible.

So mote it be.

Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.