Yet another busy, funny, and fast week´s many experiences later…
This week, everything has worked out for the better, except for yesterday, when I really felt what it means to live with a bipolar disorder, mixed episodes.
My mood switched dramatically from a manic to a depressive state overnight. Yesterday, I slept through most of the day but did manage to write a few notes for my digital Book of Shadows.
Monday, we successfully overcame the trouble with the new identification documentation for online banking. It worked this annoying new system that we Danes have to get used to accessing our bank accounts and authority websites. And I finally worked myself through the Spring cleaning of my witch´s den.
Tuesday, everything seemed to happen like pearls on a string, and Wednesday, in particular, was a wonderful day and evening. Two friends and I went to a talk with one of our greatest female actresses in my lifetime, Lisbeth Dahl.
She says that we must remember to ask questions while being bold and curious. And to live life in the present moment and see what happens rather than making future plans that only seldom come into reality.
Thursday went even faster than the previous three days, and a cup of coffee at a friend´s house was surprisingly pleasant. This time, she didn´t try to behave dominating toward me, and I felt free and happy while I was there.
Friday became the beginning of a project between old school friends, whom I couldn´t face yesterday as planned.
My mood changed due to the atrocities in Ukraine this week. I now have to shield myself even more carefully than usual. I simply can´t bear to watch and listen to more than necessary.
In return, I´m working on creating a box with necessities for people in Ukraine. The Danish postal service has offered private people the option to send a pack of 25 kg with them free of charge to the Ukrainian postal service, distributing it to people in need.
My friend from the morning walks will create it with me, and then I can better feel that I have tried to do something.
The worst part of this meaningless war is the feeling of inadequateness, inability to help more, and powerlessness.
It is not that this war is more brutal than any other war. It is not that this war is just as meaningless. It is the way people treat people with hatred and grim violence.
This time, it makes me cry and ask the Universe the reason why.
Until now, there has been no answer.
But the obvious one is that this is the result of crazy men doing crazy things only to satisfy their own crazy minds.
In deep and silent prayer for world peace, dear readers and followers, let us all meet.
However, this morning was different from the rest of the weeks, as it led to a good and warm conversation with a close friend. About something that mattered greatly to her, which I could assure her would also pass one day.
But it doesn´t feel that way while you are in-between for better or worse in life.
My counselor told me this week that her boss wants to meet with me about the possibility of me becoming a peer-to-peer counselor in the local district psychiatry.
So, please send me all the positive vibes you can on April 26th.
I believe that I can give something back to someone close to where I am in my current state of mind. And I think that I can gain something, too, by listening to what other people with bipolar disorder, ADHD, and anxiety do in the inevitable ups and downs of life.
As with everything I do, be it doing the daily chores, writing, or being creative, it is a labor of love.
But I have asked for a small economic reward. I will have to prepare for either a talk or a social gathering, e.g., in a café or in a psychiatric ward. Likewise, they will have to drive for me, as I can´t drive a car myself anymore. And, of course, a bite to eat is always welcome with me.
I try to keep my feet to the ground, and I will not sign anything before discussing this carefully with my husband and close friends. But yes, I´m thrilled to the bone and excited that people believe in my abilities with words and ideas for a positive life with bipolar disorder, ADHD, and anxiety.
I don´t mention ADHD so much because it has changed. I would instead call it a silent ADD, as I´m not nearly as hypers as in my younger years.
My anxiety is present but unusually quiet, which makes me wonder when it will strike me hard again. I´m prepared, though, but it is never a pleasant experience suffering from panic attacks.
Therefore, I prefer my present mood, the mania, as I find my creative drive and everything positive in life here.
The depression, however, is never far away, as I have been extremely good at attracting the extreme version of bipolar disorder, the one with the mixed episodes attached.
And for whatever reason, it hit me fairly hard yesterday. So I tore the day out of the calendar and arranged myself and the little, wise, old dog on the couch with the best blanket in the house, pillows, and enough time to recharge my mental batteries.
The week before Easter 2022 is just as busy as this year seems to become. Next week, I will prepare and celebrate my new witchcraft ritual, my alternative to the traditional Christian Easter. I will, so it is.
May your week be life-affirming, heartwarming, and filled with joyful bliss, dear readers and followers. May world peace be forever to keep. And may my mixed episodes shut up and leave me alone.
As we all will it, so mote it be.
Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 