Lately, things have been so hectic that I haven´t had the time necessary to create some writing here.
My 85-year-old father is sadly terminally ill with bladder cancer, and the doctors can only help him with palliative treatment. He is estimated to have between twelve and eighteen months left to live.
It has been a rough blow and incredibly sad news, yet I try to have as much time as possible with him. I have been with him for a whole week, and it was only possible due to a sweet friend, who has agreed to let me stay with her when I visit my father.
In week 29, I go north again, this time with the knowledge that for each visit from now on, it will be a little worse every time.
To cope with that, I use every strategy available to me, and I try to accept what I cannot change, change what I cannot accept, and know the difference between them.
He suffers a lot from bladder infections, blood in the urine, and pain in the lower back, but I put my trust in the fact that my father has a keen general practitioner who helps him with painkillers and calming medicine.
We live a long way apart, my father and I, and it doesn´t make it any bit easier, staying here in the southern part of Denmark, when the shit hits the fan up north, pardon my French.
My father is a sweet man, but also extremely stubborn, not always doing what he promises to do. My friend tries to help him, but I believe that the answer could be a nursing home when things get worse than they already are.
On the opposite side of the scale between ups and downs in life as a bipolar, the week ahead brings the big celebration of my sweet husband´s 50th birthday on Thursday and Saturday.
We have so much to do before we can relax and enjoy it all. The birthday itself will be a small morning brunch with the closest friends. While Saturday is a big party day, where we will be thirteen people. An old superstition speaks of putting a needle in the tablecloth so that no negative energies will be attracted in any way.
So, a needle in the tablecloth is an absolute must.
Writing in the middle of a major heatwave in Denmark with little or no rain at all is demanding, ad I´m in the preliminary phases of a bad headache. Nevertheless, I love to write, because it makes me relax all the through my body, mind, and soul.
Regarding this blog this year, well, bear over with me, I try to write here as often as it feels right to do so.
I need to be relaxed, I need to warm up my arthritic hands with the latest news before I turn to write about what I aspire for in my life.
As a writing witch, I must confess that I at times find it difficult to find the extra time necessary but believe me, I try.
I have high demands for my writing. It has to be worth reading, also by other people than just me. It has to have a certain rhythm, a certain feeling of a dance to music, and a certain touch of my stream of consciousness.
And it has to be written in a way so that I´m convinced that it will be worth it pushing that publishing button.
When those demands are met, I know it by heart and deep from within my soul.
Besides being busy as usual this so strange yet beautiful best year of my life so far, everything else seems to work out perfectly fine, thank you.
I continue my work at two social houses in my hometown, but I have also begun working at a creative atelier there. I took a chance, asked the boss in charge of recruiting both volunteers and permanent staff for a meeting, and halfway through the interview, the ice was broken and I was asked when I could begin.
I have worked quite a bit with my digital Book of Shadows lately, as this has been my only resort when feeling restless, overworked, and worried.
But I do from time to time manage to use my many other creative talents, and my most recent work is a 5D diamond image that now only needs a couple of hours more work.
Tonight, I´m simultaneously working on my upcoming witchcraft ritual about the Summer Solstice/the Sabbath of Litha, and some handwritten stuff that I need to finish as soon as possible, as the ritual is on Wednesday morning.
When not writing, not trying to help my father, and not doing my part of the daily chores at home and at the fitness gym three mornings every week, I have worked on becoming better at meditation, which right now, in these busy times, means enjoying life outside in my husband´s beautiful garden, preferably doing as little as possible.
160 words left to express my brutally honest gratitude that my life is a hell of a ride. I wouldn´t miss out on any of the life lessons that I take right here and right now.
Now, I know what it means to be a mortal human being. And I have grown into a mature middle-aged woman.
When feeling bewildered, lonely, and scared, I turn to music. When feeling happy, energetic, and courageous, I turn to music. And when feeling in between, I turn to music.
It also assists me in my writing, as I almost always write when listening to great music in many different genres, depending on my current mood.
I want to finish this post by writing the following to you, dear readers and followers:
Thank you for still being here, being patient, and being part of my definition of an extended family.
Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.
And so mote it be.
The Northern Witch' s Blog 