At this very moment, I´m staying with my eighty-five-year-old father, terminally ill with bladder cancer, at a hospice. He was admitted here this morning, and I got here a couple of hours later due to a special friend, who threw everything aside to drive me for two hours. And she will come and drive me home when this is finally over.
Right now, it is calm before the storm, which, by the way, is mighty, scary, and overwhelming outside in Denmark. They call it the storm of a century, and at the same time, this is the storm of my life, as my father is getting closer and closer to the Rainbow Bridge, over which we all will walk in due time.
To me, living in the present moment right now is the only choice to make. The past is a constant that can´t be changed, and the future remains unknown until it chooses to present itself to us.
Therefore, with my father, I’m here to follow him along the road as well as I possibly can. By being present, by holding his hands, by touching him gently to calm and to soothe.
It hurts like going through Hell and back, and frequently, I have to leave his room to wipe off my silent tears, as I don´t wish to wake him up from his so-needed sleep.
But the hospice staff are gentle, sweet, and caring toward both me and my father, so it is more than okay to cry every once in a while.
I know by heart and mind that it is time for us to part physically, yet forever united by blood and soul.
This is a devastating loss that I have been expecting for more than five months now. Sorrow is one thing; waiting to let go is even worse, as it seems to go on and on without any sign of possible release.
I have cried, I have hurt, but now, I´m okay. I know that it will hurt so much to have to let go of him, but for him, it will be a true blessing. So, I pray to the Universe, to the gods and goddesses that this journey will end soon so that a new journey can happen. Until the day that we all meet again on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.
Blessed Be.
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