I decided not to have a ritual the day before yesterday, because I needed time and space to relax and recover from some minor anxiety attacks during the week. I also needed to send my 81 years old father home after a great week with him in my home. It is always hard to say so long. There is a physical distance between my father and me, and it is emotionally demanding to see him getting older every time we meet. Time is so short, so I grab every opportunity to enjoy his company.
With these words I also indicate that I´m not only writing about daily witchcraft on this blog. The mundane world is just as important to me, and living daily with a bipolar disorder and osteoarthritis in the body do make it necessary to be able to adapt quickly to changes and degrees of pain. Therefore, I do not make any magickal workings as rituals and spells when having one of the tough days as the day before yesterday.
Writing, however, makes me happy and helps me articulate my feelings, when life feels overwhelming. So I´ve decided to write about my intentions from the New Moon ritual on August 2nd. The purpose of the Waxing Moon ritual was to manifest and strengthen those intentions. In my belief, it can be achieved through more than one channel of action.
The strengthening part I can as easily write as to make a ritual around it. Writing is also a kind of ritual, where the manifesting part comes from the physical work about realizing my goals.
So be it, and now it is time for some reflections on my intentions that are as follows :
- Grow blog slowly (why be in a hurry and make more mistakes than necessary)
- Master my anxiety (control it, so it does not control me)
- Celebrate my life experience (becoming a Crone also means to take life both seriously and humorously)
- Study witchcraft more (make a weekly study plan)
- Be more creative (take more time to draw on my Book of Shadows pages)
- Release more negativity (make releasing a greater part in my ritual workings)
Grow blog slowly
Concerning the first intention, this week I did look at numbers and money needed for getting a web host/be self-hosting to be able to some day to make some money on this blog. Everything has a price, and I need more time to save enough money to actualize this goal. So the adjective slowly means slowly. I´m in no hurry whatsoever.
To be honest, it will take me a couple of months to actually do something about this. My goal is slowly, but surely, so for the next month or two, I´ll be reading and learning about creating and hosting a website. I´ll probably also be making mistakes, but it is necessary in order for me to learn my lessons.
Living on a budget is what it is. To live good with, if you dare to be creative and know what you want. I want time to save money and to be creative with what I already have. I also want to know the necessary stuff about running a blog, but it is not the technical part that I like to work with. To me, the content and the quality rather than the quantity is more important. My heart lies in writing and working with witchcraft on a daily basis.
So to grow my blog slowly is a recurring goal that is actualized by me writing about it. It is also a process of self-development that is new and challenging to me. After all, I lay a lot of myself into my writing. It is like playing a fine tuned instrument in front of an audience without any other doubt than the human part of a symphony of pure sounds.
The recurring fear of not being good enough, of having yet another writer´s block without warning, of being a bad writer knowing that writing is a skill and most of all a passion.
That brings me to my second intention.
Master my anxiety
Methods to stop oncoming anxiety attacks in the moment has always my attention, because it despite medication is a big part of my mundane and witchy life. I use often my own method of wrapping up my worries in a mental bundle to release at the next appropriate ritual for that. It is to write down what I do not like about anxiety and replace the words with positive phrases as e.g. I´m able to truly “feel” my feelings and to control the negative aspects by adjusting my reaction to them.
If being positive despite hardship does the work, then I´ll do the work too. And it does help to look at difficult matters with a positive outlook. When writing about anxiety I felt it, but it did not stop me from doing something I love, to write. And it should not stop you either, dear reader.
Anxiety can be a physical experience, and I recognize also that being 50 years old and a becoming Crone is to take good care of yourself. It is necessary to rest and to be offline from time to time. The modern world can be stressful, but then it helps to have a third intention about using my life experience positively.
Celebrate my life experience
Why ? Because it has brought me to where I am today. The past is a constant. The future is unknown territory. Only the present moment contains meaning and purpose. I live one day at a time. I do not take anything for granted. And I try to use my intuition more and more.
A long time ago I promised myself to save my worries for the day to my 15 minutes of concern in the evening. I was attentive to it for a while, then I forgot about it. Today I take my worries seriously, but they do not control my life. I take a challenge at a time, and I learn and grow every time.
But it is not only a certain age that accounts for my ability to adjust to the twists and turns of life. It is also life experiences that are memorable for better or worse.
I celebrate my life experiences by trying to be as positive as possible towards life and its challenges. I try to do as much as possible with everyday issues, so that matters are solved on the spot instead of hiding behind bad excuses for not dealing with troubles and worries.
It does not mean, however, that I´m a saint or a self-apologizing cry-baby. I see things as they are, no more, no less. The ability to say no is underestimated in my opinion. Does a positive outlook apply to a person who says no to some things ? Yes, it does, because saying no is also to take care of yourself. Nobody can manage everything all the time. Rest is necessary, so is a no appropriate when I feel that it is a bad day for commitments over one´s ability to respond to them positively.
I do say no when I´m not feeling okay mentally and physically. Spiritually, however, I try to recover by doing something healing for mind, body and soul. I make my work space movable so I can write as often as possible. Days without writing are few though.
My fourth intention was to study witchcraft more and to make a weekly study plan.
Study witchcraft more
However, witchcraft may be ancient knowledge mixed with modern practical stuff. But making a weekly study plan did not appeal to me this week with my father visiting. So instead I studied something about journal prompts that can be of use when having writer´s block. I will try to write prompts myself and in the future perhaps make a post or a series of posts about it.
The plan for my blog is also to be revised and renewed in the coming weeks. So to study witchcraft more at the moment is to look in the index of my Book of Shadows to see what is relevant for the Full Moon ritual next Friday.
I also like to use my intuition in witchcraft, because I do not follow any other path than my own, which in itself is not as easily described as the words eclectic cottage witch. I study witchcraft on a daily basis so a plan depends on my current interests. The intention should therefore be re-phrased to study with intuition rather than a plan as such.
I admit, my life experience tells me to do so. I´ve read a lot about many different things during my life, and I would like to continue on that trail. And that is something to manifest up to the coming Full Moon on August 16 2019. So from Monday and until Friday I´ll study something new about witchcraft, and I´ll write about it after the Full Moon ritual.
Be more creative
This was my fifth intention. It still is my intention, but it depends on the condition of my hands on the day of being creative. My osteoarthritis does effect my hands occasionally, so that I have difficulty holding a pencil or a paint brush on painful days. There have been quite a few days of that lately, the weather is changing rapidly these days too. That effects me both physically and mentally. And then writing comes along as a soothing and calming remedy for any ailment.
Release more negativity
I will achieve this by keeping a notebook just for this. When I encounter any kind of negativity I´ll write it down and either burn or freeze the paper to get rid of any negative emotions and atmosphere that may arise. I will also try to release more by meditation and by rituals designed for that. Appropriate moments for that is e.g. Full and Dark Moons, but releasing can also be refreshing at New and Waxing Moon.
Now I have strengthened my intentions from the New Moon by writing about how I already manifest them on a daily basis and by planning my work during the writing process.
It is also a kind of ritual to write to me. I always have a clean and tidy workplace when writing. I need the peace and calm of freedom from mess. I need to sit quietly, while at the same time listening to the TV and the fridge in the background, looking at my husband and our philosophical cats and little wise dog, and musically typing what springs from my heart and mind. About this blog, witchcraft and life in general from my point of view.
So instead of a review of one of my many rituals I´ve written you through my thoughts about strengthening and manifesting my New Moon intentions. They would have been the major part of the ritual, had the day before yesterday not been so demanding mentally and physically.
It will be my way of working with my writer´s block and witchcraft on this blog, when the mundane world takes its toll on my personal resources. This is not meant to be a place of an impossible quest for perfection. But a place of learning and sharing.
I would like to give my thanks to those of you that have commented on some of my posts already. It is inspiring and instructive to read.
I write from the voice in my heart. I like to listen to the silent calming music of fingers touching the keyboard with the rain pouring down outside as the only sound in the background just before midnight. Or to the thundering hammer of a drum, a crying riff from a bass guitar. Then my fingers dance to another tune, then it is one of the pain free days.
The true manifesting part of all this, however, is to actually do what I´m writing about. To do that I need to go offline and write notes for my Book of Shadows, try out methods to reduce the number and effect of anxiety attacks and enjoy life for what it is. Fun and scary. Mostly fun.
And therefore, dear reader, I´ll return with a post on the Full Moon ritual that I´m preparing for next Friday. Now I´ll withdraw to my bed listening to the sound of the rain. The Wheel of the Year is turning right now, and we are in the late summer season.
Soon it will be autumn. A new season to embrace, to work with, to reflect upon. That means shadow work, creative treats like making your own candles and indoor activity. Plenty of time to be creative. Including photos in my next post. Today I deliberately decided not to insert any photos, because creative writing should be enough making a post worth reading. Less is a lot more when used with common sense.
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