The Northern Witch' s Blog

Our prime minister was serious, indeed. New restrictions, new habits, and new thoughts. She was also touched in the heart because her voice was coarse, however, so, so seriously crystal clear.

It is happening now, in the present moment that I appreciate so much. Once again, the world outside my little window at my peaceful spot on Mother Earth has caught up with my best intentions.

Today, I realized that the Fall of 2020 is getting worse than the Spring of 2020. So, this time I need to banish any kind of negativity and what no longer serves me.

That I do tonight by drawing my interpretation of the Greek goddess Hekate, the Queen of Witches. And I´ll do it in the company of my dear friend and with a lit black candle.

We had a great friendship ritual yesterday. It lasted more than two hours, just because we had one of the conversations where you can go on without wanting to stop talking.

And after the ritual, we helped each other with her wardrobe and laundry. We also shared dinner, three tired children, and a couple of hours filled with creativity.

I know there is trouble ahead. Therefore, I immediately turned to write this blog post as an effective way to divert my thoughts from going racing and to remain as sane as possible.

Denmark is on the edge of closing down again. We will now get to know the face masks, the rubbing alcohol, and the news stream for real. And now people really need to listen and adapt.

The last couple of months has been about opening up. In the late Spring, I wrote that I thought it would be way too soon, and how devastating it is to be proven right.

What scares me the most is the incomprehensible amount of stupid people whose stupid actions we now all pay for. Was it worth it with the many parties and craziness then?

I´m thankful that my anxiety treatment is so well regulated by now. Because I truly feel with all people with an anxiety diagnosis tonight, no, may I correct myself, I feel with everybody in the world right now.

I feel like I´m in a living nightmare horror movie without any signs of an ending in the foreseeable future. It is no fun at all. On the contrary, it is sad, terrible, and tough to grasp.

So tonight, I´ll probably sigh a lot, divert myself repeatedly, and try to think of all the positive things about life in general. After yet another press conference in Denmark, it is so soothing to write here.

It immediately calms me down, it urges me to do my best each time, and it enables me to relax and think more than twice before writing down my thoughts.

To be brutally honest, this press conference was scary, solemn, and gloomy. So, I need to think about anything but the Coronavirus to enjoy what´s left of this Friday evening.

So, so different from the week until now. I began working on the top floor of our home, I got our clothes in order, and I planned my next move upstairs.

That´s my weekend what concerns plans in the nearest future. And then I will continue downstairs next week. To stay at home as much as possible is not stupid right now.

And we also plan to shop even less. Less is definitely more this crazy year of 2020. My appeal tonight is that people understand that it is crucial to listen to the authorities and do what it takes to get us through this.

We really live in dangerous times, and I simply can´t understand why so many people excel in responding with stupidity and disrespect when something serious goes on in society.

Here, we listen and are extremely cautious when outside in this so-called modern world, where it seems as anything goes, as long as you don´t get caught in action.

We just have to acknowledge that things are different for a reason. That we can´t keep on exploiting this planet and behaving so egoistical. And that we need to support each other by adapting to social distancing.

Yet another press conference in Denmark turned a beautiful day into a thoughtful night. But my anxiety disorder is under strict control, my bipolar disorder, too, and my medicine´s side effects are tolerable.

To make it merrier, the rain has begun again. And the worst part is that I need to see my doctor and go to the hospital for a yearly conversation and mammography next week.

I need to meditate about it during the weekend to avoid triggering my anxiety. And on top of that, I absolutely hate doctors and hospitals. It makes me ill at ease, stressed, and hypersensitive.

It doesn´t make it better with the Coronavirus on the loose out there. But I know I have to go, and I know that I will do it as long as it is secure enough for me.

But tonight, I turn to creativity, positive things, and being comfortable. May your weekend be blessed with good news, positive moments, and the feeling of freedom, dear readers and followers.

This week, it finally happened. I cleared and cleaned my creative work spaces. Now, it is time to grab the cell phone and get some good pictures that can become lasting memories.

Tomorrow, I will do the same in my dining room and library. Next week, I will work my way through the rooms upstairs, my witch´s den, and our living room.

After that, the kitchen, the utility room, and my husband´s den are up for a makeover too. A little extra every day is all what it takes to get things done.

And I have promised myself to do exactly that. Despite my many ailments, it is possible to find the necessary extra source of energy. It makes me happy and proud that I´m able to contribute and help again.

I admit frankly that I had two of the bad days during the week. I slept a lot, I tried to relax as much as possible, and I used writing to get in a higher mood and drawing to calm down again.

I accomplished something this week, and for the first time this year I have finally found my little extra energy. There is plenty of time to do what I love to do after I finish tidying my beloved home.

On Sunday, I will work with witchcraft again. It has been a while since I did that. But things have changed for the better here, and therefore I can relax enough to meditate, create beautiful rituals, and count my blessings.

Today, it is family time with good food, sweet children, and meaningful conversations. Our little rainbow clan has moved on by now. So it´s back to business, to living in the present moment, and to show happiness.

Inner peace is essential here, and therefore we stand together and fight whatever challenges life throws at us. Good health comes with less stress, anxiety, and trouble. Then kindness is more likely to occur.

A little extra every day helps when it feels difficult to accomplish anything. It is so mentally enriching to overcome procrastination, and it is way easier to create something beautiful and practical at the same time.

I have fresh coffee in my cup, there are lit candles and beautiful flowers on my creative desk, and the Sun shines from a clear October sky. It is a bit chilly, but nevertheless, the little wise, old dog will get his walk soon.

My anxiety moves a bit in its corner, my bipolar disorder tries to make me feel miserable, and my ADHD preaches procrastination. But I have something to keep them silent.

My counselor and I have discussed what to work with in the next couple of months. I have asked for professional advice regarding especially my bipolar disorder, which can be difficult to understand and respond to.

We will also work in depth with my anxiety and whatever comes along the way. The goal is for me to become a master of my everyday in a manner that corresponds with the needs of my loved ones.

Therefore, I have asked for professional advice to how I speak with them about my challenges for life. I need to learn when to choose to have a necessary conversation, when to keep silent, and when to just be me.

Today, my reward for the cleaning is to write this blog post. Tomorrow, it will be to go through six ring binders filled with creative ideas, drawings, and templates for many a creative project.

On Sunday, the recompense is a whole day full of witchcraft. I need to plan two very different rituals. The first one is between friends, and it has been postponed enough now.

The other is my Samhain ritual for October 31 2020. It is so important to me, because I had to cancel both my ritual for Lammas and Mabon due to private events that have taken up all my time until now.

So, next week, my dear friend and I will meet in my witch´s den to create magick together. And at Samhain, I will invite my sweet husband to a beautiful and mentally enhancing ritual.

A little extra every day makes it possible to unite the practical with the creative drive that I love so much to work with. I have already a picture in progress for my dear husbond to enjoy.

So, to get through it all, I will make a list to work from this Fall. I have many creative ideas which I want to work in depth with. Now, I also have the necessary extra energy to put action behind my words.

I also need to think through as to where this blog is headed next year. It will take me a couple of weeks to make monthly plans which I used in the beginning of this blog.

So, there are plenty of things to do this Fall. Now, I will take the liberty to relax and enjoy the remains of the day. May your weekend be merry, peaceful, and memorable, dear readers and followers.

Yesterday, I saved myself for an irritating extra buy. My laptop has been acting funny since Friday. And after many attempts where nothing happened at all, then suddenly, everything is back to normal.

I need to buy a cooler for my laptop, however. But it is still way cheaper than buying a brand new laptop. I absolutely hate when there is something wrong with technical details. I prefer it simple, thank you.

So, it is full throttle and fast forward, since miracles seem to happen. I need to write something worth reading, for things have changed here at my sacred spot on Mother Earth.

My dear friend has her home to herself and her three children by now. It has been a tough ride until this past weekend. Now, the peace and calm are back, and everything turns for the better.

Tonight, we will draw together again, enjoy a dessert, and talk about life in general and love in particular. The love of her life will live here soon, and life will be fun and enriching again.

The world is even more crazy than usual, but here I gladly turn the TV off and turn to more creative little projects. And from tomorrow, I will be busy tidying my home and making my photo album of memories.

I begin with my creative desk, the dining room, and my creative room. After that, it is time to clear out some old clothes and make it comfortable upstairs in the bedroom, the guest room, and the bathroom.

Later, probably first next week, it is time to refresh my witch´s den and my witch cabinets in the kitchen. And last, but not least, the rest of our home will get an overhaul too.

I feel a need to work full throttle for a week or two. The past summer has been tough on me, and I haven´t been able to pull myself together at all. Despite the fact that my mood is in the creative and fast side.

But now, the skies are blue once again, and the Sun shines in my mind. I´m so ready to get some work done, and I can again show my loved ones that I´m okay and happy with my life.

I have, in return, learned a couple of life lessons about my bipolar disorder. The most important is the constant need to control it and never use it as an excuse for doing nothing at all.

My medication and therapy are crucial to succeed, but my own hard work daily makes way for the good life possible with as much effort as necessary.

Full throttle also means to resume our wanted life here in our little rainbow clan. Therefore, I know that I´ll need to be extra careful with using my reborn energy.

Today, I curled up on the couch most of the day. My lower back is killing me with pain. And my stomach won´t allow any pain killers. But it is okay, Self, to take a day out of the equation now and then.

As long as you tomorrow try again, preferably with tenacity, persistence, and inner passion. And tomorrow will be my perfect day. If I believe in that, then magick is already working.

By the way, we believe in magick here. It is what happens when we work together toward a common goal about sacred peace. From chaos to happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness.

My ritual between friends is due this week. At the first opportunity, we will try to catch the chance and enjoy a magick conversation to lit candles, chai tea, and a releasing ceremony.

May your week be joyful, mentally enhancing, and rich in memorable moments, dear readers and followers. Hereby, I release what no longer serves me. So Mote It Be. And may the world relax for once.

Today began with a personal reminder about the importance of letting go of what no longer serves me. So I´ll include a major release element in my next ritual, this time between friends.

Instant Karma happens when you expect it the least. And Karma knows how to deal with toxic people and energy vampires. So there is absolutely no need for my personal participation in any negativity whatsoever.

It is only in my later years that I have come to realize that it ain´t worth the fight to play along with some people´s little mind games. To gaslighting there is only one answer.

And that is to take yet a few deep breaths, pull oneself together, and get the hell up and fight by making the everyday as calm and comfortable as possible.

It does most certainly not mean that I forget anything. But I forgive people for not knowing better. I´m happy that it ain´t my eyes that will stare back at me when I look in the mirror.

I know from the bottom of my heart that my eyes are strong and direct. I know that I can be proud to look myself in the mirror. And I know that my eyes will show the worst possible toward somebody, which is contempt.

I dislike it so much that I save for those occasions where there is nothing left to say. When there is only a short and silent, yes so silent, expression in my eyes.

Today, I choose to forgive rather than being the involuntary part of a mind game that is a sad story, when looked upon with human eyes. I choose never to forget that trust broke a piece in my heart today.

Instant Karma hurts. I know because I have been here long enough to understand quite a few life lessons by now. Every choice has a consequence.

Anger doesn´t suit me well, neither do I enhance any beauty by feeling hurt and sad. Therefore, I choose to be happy and content with my life. I´m releasing my thoughts with a lit black candle.

I need to focus all my positive energy, my iron will, and love for a friend today. So, this is a rant about the positive aspects to the concept of Karma. It is about picking the right fight to invest time, energy, and life time in.

I hereby choose to let go of the past, any kind of negativity, and what no longer serves me. So Mote It Be.

It is one of those days where the thought stream makes it necessary to divert myself into thinking about what I appreciate in my life. And again music plays an important role when I ask Karma for help.

I live in the present moment, I´m more than good enough, and Self, anxiety will not get the last word here anymore. I´m done with being afraid of becoming afraid.

Karma is much more suited to deal with negativity and people who take others for granted, who betrays your trust, and who loses your respect. I have neither time, nor interest in anything but moving on from them.

It is with a calm and reassuring feeling that I write this. I won a major victory by letting go. Today, I was reminded that anger and frustration won´t solve anything at all.

I´m not forgetting, however. When I close my door, it is a permanent decision that is not up for any attempt of discussion. I do it with a small sigh and a silent, so silent tear in my eye.

And then I turn back to the positive part of being me this very moment. I have a wonderful family and good friends. I live a privileged life even on a small budget. And I even have a window to the world to rant at.

Nonetheless, today also hurts like hell. It is okay, Self. I´m allowed to feel all the way from darkness to light. And I choose to bet on the lighter parts of life rather than following any negative path.

Old school music thundering in my ears, everything I need close by, and a lit candle. Instant Karma may have a ominous reputation, But it is an extremely effective way of moving on ASAP.

Today, I will focus on finishing a drawing that has been neglected long enough now. I have a letter to write in hand. And I have a life to live. Therefore, I´m releasing negativity and distracting thoughts.

It helps being able to write about it. It instantly calms me down, it raises my spirit, and it renews my mental energy. I´m able to focus my thoughts again, although I absolutely hate to fight.

But I will do it, be it necessary. Being a Cancer Crone, beware of the silence after the words. When I´m silent, I´m fed up with something or somebody.

I may seem overwhelmed, but believe me, I´m not. I´m angry as hell, sad, and, most of all, indifferent. I don´t punish, I exclude. I simply stop noticing the one that broke my trust.

My life is way too short to include the risk of allowing toxic people and energy vampires to play any part in it. And it is a direct and immediate consequence that I exclude such people from my life.

If the day should show up that they understood why, it will be so too late that it is a reminder for life. So I don´t play mind games with anybody, no matter how low they choose to sink.

I won´t spoil my wonderful day by spending more time and energy with negativity. So when the candle burns down, I take a deep breath, get up and continue my day as usual.

And so it is.

Today, I wish you could see what a beautiful October day it is here in the southern part of Denmark. The Sun shines so bright, there is a chill in the wind, and almost everything seems calm on the surface.

Between battles with the body, mind, and soul, this Sunday afternoon is silent, so silent. The body needs to relax and be comfortable. The mind needs to cool down. And the soul needs to be flying again.

I sit in my living room, with the chills of beautiful music, the little, wise dog right by my side, and a lit healing blue candle. Now, I change the music and turn to old school rock´n´roll.

Yet another battle call, well, there is only one way to deal with that. And that is to stand up, take a deep breath, and keep on fighting for the right to be free, self-confident, and mentally sane.

We live in a crazy era, in a crazy year, and with crazy people. Like the one who yesterday stabbed a passerby before he was shot to death by the police. In a small town.

Yes, welcome to the harsh reality of life. Shit happens anywhere, pardon my French. Therefore, I today stay at home as much as possible. The only reason for going out at all is the little wise, old dog.

He resides in a pile of pillows and blankets on the couch. My dear husband binge-watches a Danish thriller series. And the atmosphere is cozy, however alert.

Today, I´m pretty content with my treatment strategies. It is an unusually warm Fall, with so bright a light that it is necessary to shield your eyes. I can feel, see, hear, taste, smell, and touch life at its rough side.

The good news is that I have fought for the majority of my life. So I´m used to battle fatigue between battles. The bad news, however, I absolutely hate to battle.

But nevertheless, I do it boldly, confident, and out of necessity. And when everything is at high stake at once, I pull myself together, take yet another deep breath, get up, and keep working hard toward my goals.

Behind the scenes, it hurts like hell, it takes its full toll on me, and it haunts my soul. It is a different walk on Memory Road, and it challenges me both as a human being and as a writer.

The witchcraft ritual of the day is a blue healing candle. Consecrated and charged by a quiet prayer and a short meditation about the loved ones concerned.

My mind is thoughtful, alert, and awake. I need to rest and re-build my strength from so long ago. My soul needs to recover, to fly high again, and to regain inner peace.

Between battles, it is okay and acceptable to feel battle fatigue. But it is equally important to remain strong throughout every battle, and the best way to recover between battles is to plan the next move.

It is in times of unrest and personal battles that love, friendship, and ordinary decency must show their full potential and become a daily confirmation of a battle worth fighting.

Today, I battle between the old version of me and the better me. Two little devils to conquer and calm down. Today, my bipolar disorder may stay silent, but my ADHD most certainly does not.

And, to my dislike, my anxiety is on the move again. A small attack when walking the little wise, old dog, but it was soon calmed. I don´t need any forms of anxiety right now, thank you from warrior grandmother.

Between battles, it is reassuring to know that we here share a bond for life. We take good care of each other, we share everything for better or worse, and we value trust, respect, love, loyalty, and hope.

May your Sunday be blessed with happiness, inner peace, good health, and kindness, dear readers and followers. And may the world behave for once. So it is.

The silence before a storm is unnerving, eerie, and leaves a sense of the unknown. To survive a storm is difficult, tough, and often a long-lasting experience.

But to heal from a storm demands inner strength, courage, and determination. It is a mental emancipation that takes time, and it is in the midst of the storm that we find the light in the chaos of darkness.

My dear friend is going through an extremely difficult transition in life. She is fighting her way through a necessary divorce with all the trouble that follow and more to that.

Her former husband is trying his best to work against her by being unreasonable, by putting up an unfair fight over money, and by being a complete asshole.

But she fights hard to remain in control and enjoy her new life that has already begun with the meeting with the love of her life. Together, we stand strong, and we fight every obstacle side by side.

Tonight, my writing centers around the issue of healing from a storm. About the necessity to emancipate yourself from any negativity. And about the reality of life when it challenges us humans.

I have told my dear friend that the clouds will disappear from the sky, that the Sun will shine again, and that everything will work out fine, no matter how hard we have to fight our way through this storm.

My dear friend knows that I´m writing this, and tonight, I write for her and every person in need for personal emancipation. I may be 51 years old, but I´m still a rebel, which I take as a healthy sigh.

I was taught the importance of the ability to think for yourself, the clever move in the ability to ask the critical questions that liberate from constricting standards of behavior.

It may not bring an army of friends, but it will definitely make the air so much easier to breathe. I never follow the mainstream of dead herrings. I´m rebel, and I´m proud of it.

So, I told my dear friend to be patient and keep up the good work. She has come so far in emancipating herself from an unfair and dominating man, whose main concern always is himself before anything else.

It is a matter of only a few weeks, and he will finally move out. This is the last gasps of a fight that could have become meaner, had we not been strong together.

It´s only natural to feel overwhelmed, extremely tired, and frustrated in such a stressful situation as a divorce. Especially, when you know what you want, but the other part plays games with you.

To heal from a storm is hard work, a lot of the time uphill, and always a learning experience. But it is possible, as long as you fight every inch back and do your absolute best no matter what life throws at you.

My dear friend will heal, too. We are present in the everyday, we support her whatever she decides is the best to do, and we care deeply for her and her wonderful three children.

I have been through a difficult divorce myself at the time I met the love of my life. He made everything so much easier by his very presence in my life, and I ended up happy and content.

So will my dear friend. We have come so far together, and together we will heal from this unpleasant and ugly storm. It all begins with a mental emancipation from the past and a positive outlook on the future.

And it is of course easier to write about than to practice in reality. But my recipe is simple, yet complicated. Hard work, self-discipline, and iron will are the keys to emancipation from whatever holds you back.

The main focus has to be on achieving one goal at a time, a little more day by day. Until you have come so far that you can let go of the past and move on stronger and free.

That day comes almost by itself. One day you realize that you already have moved on. And, sometimes, it is necessary to leave other people behind, especially if their presence makes you feel miserable.

Nobody and nothing is worth that. Therefore, my self-respect will never be put on sale, no matter the temptation. And, regarding toxic people and energy vampires, there is only one way, move on ASAP.

To heal from a storm is not an easy task. But it is the only way. Nobody can stay in the middle of a storm forever. And when everything is said and done, you will find yourself stronger than before the storm.

May your weekend be filled with domestic bliss, inner peace, and lasting positive memories, dear readers and followers. And may the world pull itself together, so that we again can enjoy life rather than fight against it.

Today, I had the pleasure of visiting a museum about the witch hunt in Europe and Denmark in particular. The museum is called Hex, its website is http://www.hexmuseum.dk, and it is located in Ribe, 25 km from my town.

It was a thrilling experience, because I realized that most of what I´m practicing within withchcraft today would have got me burnt at the stake, had I lived only a few centuries ago.

Deep injustice is what I name it. Thousands of innocent people and animals were accused and sentenced to brutal torture and death for no other reason than they were viewed upon as misfits in society.

What their accusing community forgot, is that history remembers. And so am I a witch with great pride and awe. It is definitely not the last time I have visited this great museum.

Everything was corona-safe, and they have a really nice shop with many good buys, e.g. books, teas, jewelry, accessories like little brooms, and mineral stones. It is for all wallet sizes including my own. I bought tea.

Now, I´m back at home, waiting for friends to visit. And awaiting later today where I will enjoy my new licorice tea. I need to rant a bit about my love to witchcraft.

It enriches me mentally. It calms me physically. And it nurtures my soul. I feel so relaxed and safe when I have worked with witchcraft, whether it is research, practical issues, or ritual time.

My next big ritual is the Sabbath of Samhain at Halloween. If there is time before that, I will reconstruct my ritual between friends. It has once again been postponed by unexpected events that needed attention.

But I prefer to wait with my magick, until it feels right to work with it. I also don´t work with any witchcraft if I´m ill or have a mentally fogged day. Then, I turn to meditation, self-care, and deep conversations.

Today, I´m too tired to work with any other magick than writing and drawing. My mind has been preoccupied with personal issues, my body feels the drain of the flu, and my soul remembers my late mother.

A true dragoness, a warrior, and a bitch when it was necessary to be so. A loving mother when there was opportunity, and a wise woman, however icy cold at times, in her later years.

Yesterday, it was six years ago she crossed the Rainbow Bridge. It still both hurts like hell and feels as a major relief in life. We had a complicated relationship.

I have taught myself to interpret social signs in people, for my mother may have told me about the ones to avoid, but she could not describe those to greet with joy, friendship, and love.

I was told in school that I was different, a true nerd. Thank you, teachers dear, for reminding me of the great potential in learning to fly on your own.

Ever since, I have strived to live a different life to what I saw and heard from the life of my peers. So an alternative lifestyle is not strange to me at all.

Today, however, I will rest for a couple of hours, draw, and relax my mind and soul for the remains of the day. So be safe out there. May today be a memorable day rather than a devastating memory. So it is.

Life is funny sometimes. One day I woke up, realizing that I had to learn to live well with bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, social phobia, and ADHD.

Yes, I have been lucky enough to deal with the lot all at once, whether I like it or not. Spoiler alert : self-irony between the lines may occur. For it is a roller coaster ride, and it is best to be prepared for everything.

Living with bipolar disorder is not a joyride for free. There is a high price to pay, especially when I´m in between moods, and I need to rock the boat to adapt to either a high or a low phase in my life.

When I finally understood that this would stay with me for the rest of my life, I immediately began working with myself to the core of my problems. I now fully understand at least some reasons for a tough life so far.

My life used to be a textbook example of how not to respond to the fact that I´m gifted with a series of heavy duty diagnoses. But now, I´m open enough to share my experiences with them.

My ADHD has changed to the better with age, I have almost conquered anxiety and social phobia, and I´m learning to live well with bipolar disorder.

My psychiatrist told me three years ago that it would last a couple of years, before I was okay again. He was right. It takes a large amount of time, strong efforts, and iron will to become the better me.

The one with the happy smile, the one with the creative muse on the shoulder, and the one with the tears of relief when yet another day without an anxiety attack is well done with.

I absolutely hate the low mood. I have no energy whatsoever, I can´t pull myself together as much as I would love to do, and I feel devastated. Whereas the high mood may sound as pure bliss.

But both sides need to be under strict control because without my medication, my therapy, and my determination to keep getting better the shit would truly hit the fan, pardon my French.

Last week I got a letter that stated that my therapy is for my lifetime. It opened my eyes even further for the necessity of doing exactly what I´m doing and keep doing it every single day from morning to bedtime.

Living with bipolar disorder has also been put in perspective for me, for I have seen what happens when it is on the loose on both sides. And I tell you, it is definitely not funny at all to experience.

I still believe, however, that it is possible to live a good life with a serious mental disorder. If you only dare to face the music and do your damn best to maintain a healthy balance between highs and lows.

It demands hard work, bull-like determination, and acceptance. I have fought against it for many years without knowing what in reality was haunting me.

Now, I don´t have nightmares, I don´t feel insecure, and I don´t behave as my own worst enemy. Medication and therapy change over the course of time, but the will to live a good life is the key to everything.

I have postponed my blog post until today. I have been busy helping friends through a difficult time for both them and me. And I have been hit by the flu, not the Corona virus.

So, I took the liberty to try to heal myself and to relax a few days. Therefore, this blog post is also shorter than usual. But next Friday I´m back in the saddle.

Please take good care of yourself, dear readers and followers. We live in dangerous times. May the world heal itself ASAP and may humanity learn from past mistakes, please. So mote it be.

The rain is on its way again. The clouds gather strength by the hour. And the last day of Summer is strange, yet so familiar. Things happen fast nowadays.

A decision has been made. A new family is settling roots. And in the middle of the hurricane am I. By choice and by consequence. I have chosen side, I support a friend and let another go. And it hurts.

At the same time, I´m happy to witness that a friend has found the love of her life. So it is bittersweet to some degree, it is difficult to stand by and wait, and it is tough on my body, mind, and soul.

But I´m in a better mood now that I´m working every day with my many and debilitating ailments. They are here to stay, so I might as well befriend them and make the most of everything on my path.

The last day of Summer is always tough on me because I´m not a Winter person. I prefer the Spring and the Summer. The wheel of the year, however, turns whatever I want it to or not.

Today, at last, I can speak loud about what´s on my mind these days. Writing between the lines is an art, but in the end I go for the truth in what I experience in my life.

So, my dear friend now knows what I speak about, when I mention the love that I have for my sweet husband. It is a bond for life, it is real love, and it is a friendship.

Everything here is based on five little words. Trust, respect, love, loyalty, and hope. Mighty words to live after but realistic, if you only dare to trust your inner gut feeling and the language of your heart.

I´m so proud of my dear friend, who is more and more like a daughter to me. Tonight, we will tuck in the kids, raise our glasses and toast ourselves, the love of our life, and talk about what matters the most.

Now I´m finally in the mood that suits me best. I´m more productive, I´m more caring, and I´m more the better me. And with correct medication, therapy, and iron will, it is possible to make dreams come true.

My new goals are now set : From February 2021, I will be writing daily on my novel. Until then, I will research my settings thoroughly so that my plot become realistic and thrilling.

And I will focus on bettering my mental health to its maximum potential next Spring. My novel has been intimidating. But now I fight my way through a pandemic era with it.

I know that I can write it next year. I have never been so motivated in my life before. At last, everything fits together. And I praise life for teaching me these radical lessons.

I know that I need to do more research than I expected. I have a set of high personal standards, because I care for my readers. It has to be worth reading at any time.

And I know that I need to perform well to not disappoint myself. Therefore, I need to do more self-care during this Winter. Which is not a bad idea, considered the fact that I need to be better to do it anyway.

I have not been the spotless and flawless daughter next door. I have not followed the straight path that I was told to walk. And I have not become the better me without putting up a fight.

But I have seen and heard everything I need to see and hear from a tough life, often in the fast lane. Today, I want a peaceful and calm life without too much drama in the everyday.

This last day of Summer, I feel happy, content, and free. On Monday, September 28, 2020, it is six years since my mother crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I will bring pink roses which she loved.

Now, I will listen to good music, relax, and meditate about life in general and love in particular. On Friday, I will give you a glimpse into my plans for this blog and write more about what happens in my life this Fall.

May your evening be life-affirming, mentally enriching, and beautiful, dear readers and followers. And may the rain pass quickly so that we all may enjoy this Fall. So mote it be.

This afternoon, my dear friend and I spent about an hour going through my wardrobe. It´s been a while since I did that. And how it helped with an extra pair of eyes to decide what to keep and what to let go of.

The next time, we´ll look at her stuff and do the same next door. The weather is more than fair, and I´m in my sixth week of only a few small anxiety attacks.

Everything feels so much easier without that eerie feeling of intense anxiety. Happening over a couple of weeks is a bond for life evolving. Between my friend and me, she is like a daughter to me.

She is also my drawing teacher, so we spend a lot of time together, which I genuinely appreciate. Tonight, we will be drawing at my place again. And we´ll enjoy each other´s company,

It is Summer in September, and the world spins even faster than usual. There is change on the way, and, inevitably, I believe that we have only begun a brand new journey with a virus on the loose.

This year is crazy to the bone, it is both challenging and demanding, and it is a time of restrictions coming and going, depending on how crazy people in general act.

Therefore, I´m happy to be in my high mood right now. Challenging times are right ahead of us here in Denmark, as the daily numbers are rising, we can only gather fifty people at a time, and more may be on the way.

Therefore, I turn even more to writing, drawing, and witchcraft. My ritual is now set for next week. And this weekend, I will be planning and creating it, for it is time for a ceremony to remember.

And therefore, I discuss everything and nothing with my family and my friends to divert myself from the news stream and what follows in the wake of the virus.

I´m currently working with a couple of ideas for this blog late October, at the time for my favorite Sabbath, Samhain. Lammas and Mabon, well, things just happened sooner than expected.

Sometimes life happens, while you are busy making other plans, as the late musician John Lennon once said. And I know that with time, I will return to write more about witchcraft than I do these months.

Now, it is Summer in September, and my husband and I are to celebrate our monthly anniversary with a delicious dinner. Tomorrow, we´ll spoil each other with a little extra time for ourselves.

Today, I´m listening to thundering drums and screaming guitar riffs, to soft, calming music, and to fast speed tracks, as my mood is festive, happy, and content.

My current emotional state, however, is a funny and sometimes scary experience. I cry for absolutely no reason, but the feelings inside me are in turmoil this month.

On September 28, 2020, it is six years ago that my mother passed the Rainbow Bridge. And I still cry my heart out around this time of year. At the same time, I laugh out loud and long about anything.

My menopause has to take the blame, for I´m in a better mood than the first half of the year. Actually, I haven´t felt so good for a couple of years, so today, I´m celebrating the ups and downs in life.

I´m busy, too. I have three drawings on the table right now. And my deadline is Wednesday next week. There is a ritual to plan. And a good marriage to enrich.

So, I´ll leave you, for now, dear readers and followers. May your weekend be inspiring, fun, and life-affirming. And may the world slow a bit down, what´s the need for so much rush and trouble.

For two weeks now, I have been practicing the art of learning to draw. As a witch, I work in between the shadows of life. Therefore, it is only natural to want to learn to add shadows to a drawing.

I know I can draw. I also know that if I´m willing to learn it the hard og way, by my own hand, with guidance, then there is also a possibility that I will learn it.

I have a close friend, who is almost like a daughter to me. She can draw the most fantastic pictures, pieces of pure art, and realistic details. And she teaches me what she knows.

I showed you my first one-take drawing of Thor´s hammer, Mjolnir. Tonight, I will show you my elephant with her calf, made by me, with guidance, but no direct help with the pencils.

And you´ll find my sweet baby hippo and my protective mother crocodile. I feel so relaxed and free of tensions when I draw something. And it is in the company of my dear friend that I draw my best.

Finally, my ambitions are being met. I have many times ranted about wanting to be creative. Now, it is time to enjoy the strength of this creative urge that I believe I was born with.

What I learn mentally from this, is quite another matter. It strengthens a bond for life. It illuminates my horizon because we discuss everything and nothing when we draw together.

And it is a new strategy to use to keep an anxiety attack at a tolerable distance. I draw a couple of hours daily, and the stakes have just gone up. I have a drawing to make in a week.

This I have raised with a surprise drawing to show what I have learned so far. And a drawing for a future tattoo to my husband. So there are high stakes already.

But it suits me well, as I´m in the higher end of the scale between highs and lows. I need to control my restless energy, drawing makes that possible.

Learning to draw is about so many things besides drawing that it creates a unique and lasting bond between my friend and I. We develop together, so to speak.

Besides drawing, I´m using my extra energy to handle a little more house chores. I do a little extra thing every day, so that I can practice myself into routines that I´m able to actually keep doing.

Things are about to hit the fan in my country, Denmark. The virus is spreading fast, and every day it is a little bit closer than yesterday. I follow the news stream in small doses only and mainly in the morning.

But we live our lives here and now, in the present moment. The everyday takes its toll on us, business as usual that is, and Fall begins to show off its splendor in colors.

My witchcraft ritual between friends is postponed. I need some extra time to think through what I need to build it up. I believe that a beautiful setting and candles only is the best possible setup.

For a conversation between friends. I need to gather a little extra personal energy to create the ritual with my mind and my hands. I´m careful this time. My bipolar disorder can be a trickster at times.

So, I prefer to wait a week longer before I actually sit down and work with my ritual tools, especially my Book of Shadows. I want to decorate it with beautiful pages of art.

In between the many elements of witchcraft that I work with, I dream of creating something beautiful for all the senses to enjoy. There, drawing is a useful tool for me.

Learning to draw is mentally and physically challenging. And every time I draw, I begin with awe and end up with something beautiful or fun. At the moment, I´m challenged by a drawing of a human nose.

Detail work and precision, only practice makes a master. I´m adequate, but I want to be good. There is a long way before that. But in only two weeks, as I´m told by my teacher, I have evolved already.

Tonight, we´ll have yet another drawing session. I have an intermezzo with a fairy, my surprise and an old school pinup. So, I know that I have challenged myself by now.

But it is so calming, fun, and relaxing to draw. Especially when you can see how everything get better with practice, practice, practice. This is my dream of a drawing course coming true.

May your day be mentally enriching, physically tolerable, and mindfully empowering, dear readers and followers. And, dear Universe, please take care of us all. So mote it be.

Went to the local market. A place where you can get almost anything and everything. With an atmosphere of a mixture between the good old stuff and the not-so-old replicas.

I was invited by a close friend, and we had a great time together. I spent only 15 dollars, because I may like a lot of things, but I won´t pay over-price and just buy something.

I prefer to look around and wait until I know that I want to own something. Then I think twice, do I need this or not? And nine out of ten times, I walk on and keep the wallet in the bag.

Today, it is Friday on Memory Lane. I´m nostalgic after a major episode where I howled to the Moon because I began thinking of my late mother, who died almost six years ago.

I cried my heart out so much that I completely forgot that I just had spoken to voicemail, and I also forgot to hang up my call. I have a special friend for life with whom I know that I always can be just me.

She has known me all her life, she is five years younger than me and the best little sister that I could wish for, even though we are not related through blood. Our parents became friends, and we grew up together.

A conversation with her happens through time, as we live our separate lives, and yet we are connected, as sisters of the heart, soul and mind. I trust her, I always get a sharp response, and we laugh a lot together.

About the crazy world we live in, about ourselves, and about stupid people. I think we share an allergy toward stupidity in general, which is a healthy sign of the ability to think for yourself.

It is week five without major anxiety attacks. Only a minor pile of stress and uncertainty due to the worsening situation with Corona here in Denmark.

Let tonight be calming, liberating and enchanting, dear Universe. My next ritual needs a serious overhaul, for I have been busy drawing. I hope you´ll enjoy my first piece of my interpretation of the hammer of Thor

My next drawing project is Marilyn Monroe. Then I want to work with my Zodiac sign, the Cancer, and after that it is ritual time next week. For once, I will plan it loosely, let my Muse guide me from now, so it is.

It is ritual between friends, between females, between like-minded people. It will be beautiful, caring, and comfortable. All the witchy stuff on the altars, a delicious snack, and with the sole aim of healing.

I need healing, too, so I will only cast and close the circle. The rest of the ritual is private, but I can write about how it helped me that day. Sometimes, silence is a must because it is a matter of trust.

Trust, respect, love, loyalty, and hope are the glue in my little rainbow family. Which is growing, thank you, dear new readers and followers. I´m proud to try to write something worth reading.

Tonight, I´m on a short trip down Memory Lane. Little glimpses of the past, how time seems to fly away, and look at where we are right now. It is now everything happens.

Living in the present moment is more important than ever before in my life. I need to gather memories, stories, moments. I need to rant from time to time. And I need to show that I feel so much better now.

I´m back to my creative drive, I have begun my journey as a Crone, and I´m for the first time in my life able to transform my inspiration into attempts to create something beautiful, scary, and thought-provoking.

Yes, I admit it frankly, I´m a rebel on the inside of the older version of me. I don´t feel mentally that I´m growing older, but physically I know very well that I´m no spring chicken anymore.

Yesterday, I cried my heart out. Today, I laugh as loud as possible. I fight anxiety and bipolar disorder to the bitter end. I´m still standing despite a tough life at times, and I´m proud to see the results of my hard work.

I hope that the Universe will send a message to my late mother, stating that life is a great experience, that everything is okay here, and that she can trust me now. I´m here to stay.

May your weekend be filled with laughter and joy. May your troubles be resolved with bliss. And may your life feel great and enchanting. Dear readers and followers, this was a trip down Memory Lane.

Now, it is dinner time, and after that miss Monroe. To be continued …

Today has been long and both tough and great at the same time. But what a beautiful day anyway. The mood quite fine, thank you. Despite another press conference, despite physical pain, despite a thundering headache.

Of the irritating character that is.

With tension in the neck rather than pain, but deeply annoying nevertheless. Today, I´m definitely not amused by the thought of any ailment to conquer.

But that´s just the way life also is. I promise, it won´t affect my good spirit, my feeling of a beginning mental surplus, or my joy about being alive one more day.

However thoughtful these press conferences make me, I´m too happy to cry and too tired to laugh. So I´m probably in a petty dive temporarily because I do feel content and grateful.

Tonight, my drawing experience will center around Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor. The great Nordic god that rules throughout the year in his strongest symbol, the hammer.

It is a drawing that will play tricks on me due to its level of difficulty. But why hit the trees, when you in reality want to hit the stars? I try to challenge everything I know about drawing and try learning anew.

What a beautiful day it has been with my husband and the little wise, old dog. I even managed to do a few more chores than I have been doing for almost half the year.

We take our strict precautions when we have to face the outside world. But when we are at home, we live our lives as were we living on a desert island.

So although I sound serious and sharp from time to time, today is a beautiful day, today is worth every ache and pain, and today I need to rant about being happy and nostalgic simultaneously.

I´m happy, content, and thriving. Yet I still miss my late mother who died almost six years ago. So much has happened since, I try to think about what she would have said and done in times of trouble.

She would probably say something like, pull yourself together and fight for what you believe in, do your best every time, and remember to laugh a lot, too.

So that´s what I´m doing when I put action behind my words. I made the following note to Self today :

1. Be happy when out of bed in the morning because I´m alive yet another day.
2. Get my things done without being grumpy because it will only be done with will-power.
3. Remember to appreciate those I want in my life in time to do just that.
4. And last, but not least, to look in the mirror in the morning and remind me of these words.
5. Words are only valuable when transformed into action.

And I tried it out, a perfect exercise in shadow work.

Tonight, I send everybody in the world lots of online hugs, positive Karma, and a blessing for happiness, inner peace, good health and kindness in us all.

So it is.

After the celebration of a sweet child´s birthday it is time to relax and enjoy the feelings from a good experience in good company. It is time to do as little as possible, and it is time to live life to its fullest.

Here at my little sacred spot, my creative Self contemplates a new drawing to do tonight. Began yesterday with a biker theme, a pin-up, and a Crab for my Zodiac sign, Cancer.

I have a close friend who creates beautiful pieces of art and gladly helps me improve my techniques. This is the drawing course I never took the time and the effort to enjoy.

Before now that is. We also get to meet both at mine and her place. And I´m awaiting the next session that is scheduled for tonight. Where the theme is cartoons, and my choice is the Aristocats from Disney.

So, on a late Sunday afternoon, I´m in my happy mood, everything looks just fine, and the only clouds are outside beyond my control. For once, I´m able to write about the many positive things in my life.

First, I´m so grateful for my husband and our life together. Without him, I would be so utterly lost. He is the light of my life, my one and only, and the best friend a woman could wish for.

Second, I´m so lucky to have friends for life, who stay and help also in the darkest of hours, who are willing to talk about both the highs and the lows of the everyday, and who I know I always can trust.

And third, I´m so happy to live in a very special rainbow family, where a word is a word, where we stand together no matter what, and where we help each other up again after a longer dive of depression.

On a late Sunday afternoon, life feels kind of great right now. Looking out to the outside world is necessary, but in small doses only. Things are going the wrong way in Denmark.

And I think it won´t be long before the next lockdown. Why people are behaving so careless, I have given up trying to understand. I shake my head and take my strict precautions anyway.

And I will keep on trucking as long as it takes. I have also come to the ultimate conclusion about my anxiety and my bipolar disorder. They will not conquer me, and I dare them to face me.

I will be more than ready to fight back the hard way, inch by inch. Now, I truly understand how much my hard work is paying off right now. It is worth every tear, every inner boxing match.

I have wanted for so long for the spark of creativity, and now my Muse is back for real. I use my drawing to calm myself down, and it is both fun and thoughtful to experience what shadows actually can do.

Then a drawing become almost alive, and I want to do a lot more of that. I have already many plans, so I´m careful to choose the ones best suited for me.

My ritual will have to wait a little longer, though. I write and I draw. For now, that´s more than enough to me. But I will work with my ritual nevertheless in the coming week.

And by waiting for the right time, I also get enough time to really go in-depth and create something special. The right time is soon, perhaps in a week or two.

It all depends on whether my mood remains stable. But I think it will due to my strict control with what I want in life. I want to be happy, to be creative, and to be brutally honest about my disorders.

It is hard work for the rest of my life. But it is possible to live a good life with anxiety and bipolar disorder. And I learn so much about myself and I understand so much more how my loved ones feel.

It is not a question about whose fault it is. It is not an excuse to become overtaken by apathy, and it is a duty of honor to try to do your very best every single day and night in this life.

On a late Sunday afternoon, it is a privilege to be the better me again. I have everything I need close by, I feel better, and I´m freed from racing thoughts.

So I feel confident that this Fall will bring lots of positive experiences and also lots of difficult challenges. But we face it all together here, so come on life, throw us at the wolves, and we´ll come back ruling them.

Now it is time for a long hot bath, and to relax and wait for tonight´s drawing session. May tomorrow bring happiness, inner peace, health, and kindness to us all wherever we are.

So mote it be.

Change has arrived at last. Now, I´m in my high-spirited mood again, and life feels almost perfect were it not for back pain that began a couple of days ago when I woke up.

It has been a while since my latest troubles with my lower back. I used to be a cleaning lady in my younger years, and it damaged my back permanently. I have degenerative disc disorder in my lower back.

So I almost forgot how painful it can be. The other day, I felt it immediately as I woke up. Thundering headache and excruciating pain attacks.

Now, I´m in the aftermath of strong pain killers and a lot of shifts between sitting, lying, standing, and walking. The pain decides which to choose right now.

But my spirit is high, the better me is back. After months of being depressive, this is freedom. It is time for my Muse to land on my shoulder again.

Fall has come, too. My healing ritual is set for next week, Samhain is my next Sabbath to plan, and soon, it will be time to walk in the nearby forest to enjoy the colors of Fall.

The next couple of weeks will be tough because I need to be crtical with what I choose to do or not. My rising energy level needs to be tamed, so that I don´t burn my life´s candle in both ends.

Therefore, I plan to use every strategy possible to be both energetic and slow moving at the same time. But after a few weeks, I know that everything will be fine again when I find the right balance.

The change differs mentally from the physical aspects due to my other ailments that right now are tormenting me. Anxiety behaves, although I sense a small attack or two now and then this afternoon.

So, this Fall begins with lots of plans and, hopefully, a rising energy level. The weather fits the season with little, fiery rain showers shifting to beautiful and fair Indian summer.

I say welcome back to the better me because it feels so much more free on the high side of the scale of highs and lows. This year, the shift has been long in the making.

Everything is markedly different from any previous year I can remember. A new agenda in the form of a virus determines our behavior and ways to cope with life.

In the outside world that is. Here, change is more a personal choice of lifestyle. We have our own rules, and they are both easy and demanding at the same time.

Don´t play tricks on us, don´t lie to us, and don´t take us for granted. Our life experience tells us that such rules are necessary and healthy. If we can abide to them, then change is a friend and not an enemy here.

Listening to the late Danish national poet, Kim Larsen, to songs about life, love, and the everyday. Beautiful lyrics, feel good tunes, then the pace is set for a creative writing session.

I´m a bit philosophical today. I take a stroll down Memory Lane every once in a while and try to change negative experiences into a positive outlook on life as it comes.

I believe that nothing happens without some sort of reason. Meaninglessness is destructive only, so I search for meaning in whatever I do.

Yet another press conference is a few minutes away. About the Corona situation in Denmark. Better watch at least some of it, for it has been a while since I last actually watched TV.

I mostly use it as background noise for the many evenings and nights when I´m in the writing mood. But okay, today I´ll watch some TV, treat my back gently on the couch, and be the better me.

Welcome back to joy, to enthusiasm, and to gratitude. Thank you, dear Universe, for the burden of a bipolar disorder that can be tamed, if only you dare to fight back with everything you got.

Although happy and mentally high on new ideas, the better me, with the aid of prescription medicine and intensive therapy for the rest of my life, knows how to keep the leash on me.

I have found the balance between ups and downs now. I may still rock the boat, but I have also control over the oars. And anxiety remains calm in its corner, not a single hiss or sigh.

It is a day of mix between sun and rain, between sweet and sour, and between happiness and sorrow. A trip down Memory Lane happens a couple of times a year here.

I have fifty-one years to run through. And I both cry my heart out and laugh as loud as possible. For I have seen and heard everything worth knowing from this and that.

Regarding people, I really don´t have any experience left, except for kindness, gratitude, and decency, that would make me trust more than I do by now.

The human factor is always unpredictable. Therefore, I´m so careful to work with myself and the curiosity shop of ailments that I live with. To trust in yourself is the most difficult job of all.

But it is necessary no matter what. May your weekend be blessed with lots of laughter and the art of creating lasting memories in the moment that life happens. As in right now. So mote it be.